Complaining or Explaining.

@Chevee (5915)
United States
August 8, 2010 2:24pm CST
In Sunday School this morning the minister that was teaching, took us to Philippians 2:14..Do all things without murmurings and disputings...I didn't participate in the discussion, maybe I should have but didn't. She kept saying do all things, do all things, do all things without murmuring and complaining. This is my point, I am not complaining but I have this problem. My family will call me at the last minute and ask me to take them to an appointment. Now this appointment is at 1:00 pm. The time they call me is 12:00pm. giving me less than an hour to prepare myself and to get them and to the appointment. Don't complain is what the Word said, so how am I to get it over to them not get me stressed out like that, call me way ahead of time so I can be able to work this in my schedule and not be stressed out and in a hurry. Would say that is complaining?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@PDBME2 (1023)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Well it's only understandable. I find myself complaining too and one day when I was asked to help here and there at church my husband told me "Why do they ask you if you have a busy schedule already with all the kids?" He pointed out that they don't ask the pastor's wife to do the same and she has one less child. Then I read 1 Corinthians 3:8 and I think there is another one that is similar but we all have the same goal. I had to tell myself to stop complaining, but like with anything I find myself still doing it. I just think it's hard at times when people don't understand that you would rather have notice of planning things ahead of time. Maybe you should let them know and tell them that if they don't give you notice then it can't be done. It's just common sense. My sister tried to do that to me several times, take care of her two kids on my husband's day off. She would get mad when I would tell her no but one thing is asking a favor from me but when it comes to having my husband take his day off to babysit her kids so she can go out, no.
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
8 Aug 10
So true, 1 Cor 3:8 The one who plants and the one who waters have the same purpose, and each will be rewarded for his own works. Doing for others without complaining is planting seeds and you will be rewarded someday. I know God didn't mean for us to let people run over us. Even Jesus had a way of putting people in their right place. In my walk with God I have learned it is best to stay in your lane.
@PDBME2 (1023)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Preach it...lol It's easier for another Christian to understand frustrations and disappointment but other people will soon criticize you. They will say "Aren't you a Christian?" I tell them that I am not perfect. Honestly sometimes they think you have to be a lender, babysitter, fixer, listener, etc... when you are facing challenges each day. I feel so many times like a doormat to some people. Yes Jesus was firm and you shouldn't be made to go through loops to prove you want to walk with God.
@lolo58 (54)
• United States
9 Aug 10
All these posts are suberb. No, we are not perfect, just forgiven. Interestingly enough, as our parents age their needs become more prominant and it's their turn to be cared for. I'm dealing with this now but we have also laid the boundries of mutual respect and it works great. Anyone out there who may have a hint of feeling like a doormat and not wanting to murmur - talk it out in love.
@blueboy3 (123)
• Ireland
9 Aug 10
I am suspicious of the idea that one should not complain. It may be a virtue to be able to live life in an uncomplaining manner, but it is too often over emphasised. Sometimes one needs to have self-respect, even to be angry at unreasonable behaviour. I seem to recall many times when Jesus did not simply accept the world as it was, uncomplainingly. One might well be acting in a more Christian manner to deal with these issues, rather than putting up with them, as difficult as that might be.
@phacat (20)
• United States
10 Aug 10
This can all be summed up in what Jesus told his disciples. He told them he gave them a new commandment, not a different commandment a new way of carring out the commandent. Love one another as I have loved you. We tend to love one another the way we want to and as Jesus loved us. Do we really love with the agape love? If your family truely loved you they would be considerate. Then again I don't know that your family members are born again believers. You are not complaining if you loving explain to them that you would appreciate more advanced notice than just one hour. In a previous post someone pointed out that there is a difference between complaining and explaining. We need to do all things in love. I, of all people, need to practice this same concept.
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Not sure why all of this would stress you so much, but then i do not know your schedule. An hour seems like a reasonable amount of time to me, but then I have no schedule at all
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
8 Aug 10
No an hour isn't enough time. The reason is because I have no job, I have no reason to be presentable an hour before some else's appointment. And the appointment says it is at 1:00pm, not on your way at 1:00pm. Plus they don't live in the same house with me. I have to get dressed, go to their home pick them up, get on the highway, take them to the appointed place for the appointment, which is some miles from their home. I am not a person that is late for anything, I am an on time person.
• United States
8 Aug 10
To relieve yourself from stress you may need to set some boundaries with your family. Like, telling them that you don't mind helping them by taking them to appointments but you have to have at least a day's notice so you can arrange your schedule to accommodate. I would tell them if they don't give me the proper notice you just can't take them. It will relieve you of much stress!
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Thanks very well said, I only do it not because of them but because of whom the appointment is for. They can really use my assistance, but I can not deal with the stress, this problems has a solution and I will staighten it out.
8 Aug 10
Hi Chevee, Is there some promblem that they cannot go to their appointment themselves? why do YOU HAVE to take them? are you their dogs body? I wouln't do it if it was me. Tamara
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
8 Aug 10
It's not all of them, just the ones that really need my assistance, but not giving me the respect or notices that I need. I don't mind doing it just give me and my time some consideration.
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
8 Aug 10
hEY cHEVEE, i don't think that's complaining at all. I think they need to give u more consideration than they are. Seems like they think since u are not working u have nothing else to do. They would give me more notice or they might get turned down.
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Hi Anti, you hit the nail on the head. Give me more notice.
@shira0524 (483)
• United States
8 Aug 10
If you don't have a problem with doing the favors for your family, but just with the fact that they spring things on you at the last minute, regardless of what the Word says, I feel you owe it to yourself and them to explain that they need to give you a little bit more notice than that. It's common courtesy and as much as you may want to do what the Bible says, you have to consider the fact that by not having this discussion it could progress to the point where you get angry at them and then don't want to help them anymore. I think there are different contexts for every idea, and you are speaking of two different ones here.
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Thanks Shira, very well said. I agree with you totally, and I am thinking alone the same line you are, that it is two different contexts here, that is why I didn't present this to the Sunday school class, sometime you have to get the knowledge and understanding of others.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Aug 10
That's a hard one Chevee but in this case, you almost HAVE to tell them because they are stressing you out and that's not fair to you. They should be more thoughtful about it and let you know WAY ahead of time so you won't be so rushed to get them there on time. After all, you are helping them, not the other way around so a little consideration on their part would be nice. Besides, if we don't teach them this, who will?
• India
9 Aug 10
i would prefer to be explaining rather than complaining