Homeschooling special needs struggle

Canada
August 9, 2010 3:00pm CST
No one ever said homeschooling was an easy responsibility. Yes it has many perks and own conveniences but I doubt very much many can say they homeschool because it's convenient, easy and dang we're too lazy to follow suit. So why is it that I'm constantly bumping into this claim? Why am I always defending our choice to homeschool our daughter with special needs. Please understand, we aren't doing so to suit any spontaneous rebellion way. I thought my family was finally behind me on this one seeing how well our daughter has been doing over the past month. But instead of supporting and recognizing the effort, they feel she is now 'well enough' to attend school again. (or the dumb claim that we are spoiling her) Ahem... She's 'well enough' because we don't subject her into an uncomfortable situation every day. Then her bio father comes rolling around. He's been out of our lives for many many years. Low and behold, after three months of 'getting to know his daughter', he seems to know what is best for her - and homeschooling DEFINITELY isn't it! *sigh* I know people don't understand and are, unfortunately, not educated on this topic. Most seem to think our daily struggles are simply bad parenting. If you can't get your child up and at 'em in the morning, and follow suit with the rest of the children, or if we can't get your child to easily mingle with peers their own age, or do math at an 'appropriate' level, we, as parents, are extreme failures! Period! Can we stop looking at what she CAN'T do and look at all the amazing things she's accomplished? Can we look at the fact that she's been playing soccer for two STRAIGHT months now and is still excited about attending? This is a HUGE accomplishment on her part, yet no one seems to recognize it because it simply wouldn't be an issue for a 'normal' child her age. And swimming... WOW - the progress is incredible - yet she hasn't reached an 'age-appropriate' level yet so it's definitely not worth mentioning at the next family gathering... What are your homeschooling struggles?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
10 Aug 10
The only home schooling I did I actually didn't do much..It was for only a semester when my daughters school levy didn't pass and they stopped busing for the high school students. She was on an online state funded school and she did most of the work and did very well. Home schooling is a choice, and I do know lots of people who have or are home schooling. The problem I had with it was the church we went to, 99.9% of the kids were home schooled. So when we start going and because my kids were in public,school, they were excluded out any play the other kids had going on unless their parents said something. (which I am like, you know if your kids want to exclude mine because they are not home schooled, don't make them) Yet there are advantages and one is if a student struggles with school, or they excel in school, they can take classes at their own pace. I would like to home school my son since he is very smart, but I don't want him to be uppity with his public school friends..Not only that I have no car so he can go on trips the home school network has going on.. So you see, I am not against it, but I won't do it if it affects my sons social skills..Seems like your daughter is doing well since she is in soccer and loving it. So if you can, continue home schooling her. If you lived in my county, you'd be so supported from so many people, because there are a lot that are home schooled here..
• Canada
10 Aug 10
I could be wrong but it's been my experience that homeschooled children might excluded 'public school children' (not just your kids) because they are not used to being around them - and because they hear so many bad things about the public system and how horrible some kids can be, it becomes a stigma. In the city I'm in now, the homeschooling community is very welcoming of anyone. Although the soccer my daughter participates in is organized by the homeschooling network, everyone is welcomed and we have quite a variety getting together every week.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 10
You might be right, but does it make it right? For a parent to talk about how horrible public school kids can be is just plain wrong..My kids were all very quiet and well behaved..The only time there was a problem was on a field trip where this kid kept pestering my son and my son got into a fight with him. I'm sure you don't do that, because to call all public school kids horrible is like me saying all home school kids are uppity..Which I know they are not. One of my good friends home schools and her daughter is very nice and not at all like the other kids at that church..(which btw, my husband still attends, I will not since my son is in the public school plus we have different beliefs)
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Aug 10
Oh I didn't mean to say it was right. It is just my suspicion on what could be happening. Of course there are some well behaved children in school... it's not ALL bad. lol However my experience with the school system hasn't been great with the exception that it was my child causing a lot of the trouble due to her anxiety.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Aug 10
I homeschool my children and have for the past 7 years. I choose to homeschool so they are not subjected to all the mess at public school. If your daughter is doing well then you are definitely doing something right and I think you should continue. She needs consistancy in her life and putting her in public school it could throw her off balance. People (that includes family, friends, strangers... anybody) should respect your decision and leave it alone. You are old enough to make decisions concerning your kids. A lot of people have misconceptions about homeschooling. I encourage you to continue homeschooling her... you are reaping rewards from it. I am lucky to say that I have not had struggles with homeschooling my kids other than what materials to use and how to teach it. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Aug 10
THANK YOU! That's the word I needed - Consistency! My daughter definitely needs consistency. Maybe, just maybe, my family will understand that! LOL But you are right. It is MY decision and my decision alone (along with hubby of course) and although I respect my family's opinion, none of it should matter. Regarding misconceptions - here's one that will make you think. My daughter's biological father is married to a law enforcer. This law enforcer, along with her family within the same industry, told him that homeschooling can be illegal - which it isn't here where we live. He's questioned me on methods and curriculum and all sort of other bull just to report back and tell me I'm doing it all wrong and I can get charged. Thank goodness I know my rights!
• United States
10 Aug 10
Don't let him bully you out of doing what you want to do! I am a member of an organization that will provide law advise for my state and even a lawer if needed. I'm not sure if it's available where you're at. I don't think I'm allowed to post the website but if you are interested send me a PM and I will tell you more.
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Aug 10
We have the same here MirandaKay. Although I'm not a member, I'm seriously thinking about it! Thanks!
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
I can relate very well since i work with kids with special needs (both homeschooling and not). Each child has its own potential,and they are able to achieve at different levels.Our staff has one favorite quote: "all children are gifted--some just open their present a little bit late than others". I am very much hoping that more of our parents are understanding just like you do. Sometimes they tend to focus on the things that they children CANT do. And they sometimes think that its our fault (the teachers, therapist) that their children are not able to develop.
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Aug 10
Thank you for your input... I loved the quote but I would like to change it to add: "All children are gifted - IN THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL WAY" Some are gifted in math, while others in arts or music or social events or whatever. Here are two additional quotes for you: "Education is helping the child realise his potentialities" - Eric Fromm "Don't 'teach', simply provide conditions in which children can learn" - Albert Einsteen (brilliant man!)