What can ruin friendship? (same gender)

Malaysia
August 10, 2010 5:23pm CST
what can ruin friendship? i had a friend..we know each other because we are classmates...in the class,we close to each other--girls and guys.. sometimes we have fun with the guys by plying games at field, or have some open conversation talking about anything..we are so close...everyone took part.. but this girl, sat next to me, can't accept anything happens in class.. when no one treat him, she will grumble and sulks...when anyone do or done anything without follow like what she need, she begin to sulks..we all are so careful when want to talk with her.. in all parts, she can't accept anything except her old style..she begin to talk "Can't do that, can't do this". we are sick of her habit and attitude.. in class, there is just 6 girls. 2 days before, we have crisis. this is the biggest crisis i ever felt happened among the girls in that class. it all about small matter..the story like this..we went to the feast at my lecturer's home. she use such a pretty, most pretty and graceful 'baju kurung' and we dont want to follow her. we just use t-shirt with track shirt..and that evening, she sulks and dont went to that feast..we leave her. a day after that, at class, no one took attention on her..she grumble again..and now, no one care of her because of her attitude..facebook 'WARS' begin..she post something that make my other girlfriends angry..he post status and likely blame on us to what happened on her. she said "what goes around comes around". likely like that..the other friend respond to her and post unsatisfied status on facebook. i dont want to do that because the girls and i was roomate. how can we talk to her? she was so much sucking our life and made us loathe..how can we deal with this girl? we have try criticism and give advice but it just the same... if i could tell her, i'll tell her like this "Hey girl, we're physical education's teachers trainee. be matured with your attitude, walk together with us. don't be too ancient, don't be too fast to sulks and grumble because we hate that attitude!" Yeah, hell...that attitude totally ruin our friendship...
2 people like this
6 responses
@MrDollars (454)
• Australia
12 Aug 10
This may seem pretty harsh but if someone you know is sucking all the happiness out of you and making you feel how they feel then there is no point in being friends. Talk to this person first and explain that you do not like her attitude and that you have been there for her this whole time but she wont accept your help and that you have done all you can. Give this person one more chance to get help or be left alone for that is how she is acting. Good luck. $-MrDollars-$
• Malaysia
15 Aug 10
we have try to talk to her..but any of us don't have courage to discuss about this conflict with her...because we all knows she will never accept our advice and will be more sulks..maybe she thought all our words is false and she will never want to accept..we fear if she still blame on us on what happened before..but we still trying to find the right time to talk to her about this..hope this never happen in future
• Australia
18 Aug 10
Well it is always better to give something a try rather than sitting back and wondering about it. So giving this a shot is the only thing you can do and if it does not work, then it is not your fault for you tried talking to her. $-MrDollars-$
@1hopefulman (22627)
• Canada
12 Aug 10
I recently wrote an article entitled "How to Make Real Friends, Keep Them and Keep Them for a Long Time" and it's on my website. There are three kind of friends: the good, the bad, and the ugly. We have to find the good ones. I wish you success!
• Malaysia
13 Aug 10
hey buddy, how can i read that article? view on your profile, i can't found it..=D
@1hopefulman (22627)
• Canada
13 Aug 10
Look in your Private Message box.
• Malaysia
15 Aug 10
i've read your article..i like it..5 star=D
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
11 Aug 10
She says, "Can't do that, can't do this" and that she can't accept anything except her old style May I ask what you mean by this, especially when you say "old style"? Is she conservative in her upbringing and maybe feels uncomfortable if you are more liberal? You also said, " don't be too ancient" which leads me to believe she has beliefs that you feel are no longer valid today or something. If that is the case and you used to feel this way too, then you should be considerate of her not moving in the same direction..You can still be friends, but you can't expect her to also change.
• Malaysia
12 Aug 10
what i mean by "can't do that, can't do this" is all about her attitude..when we spoke with the guys in the class, of course sometimes she follow us..but when someone can't accept her idea or whatever alike, she begin to make her face like erghhh..like something..when you see it, you feel like want to punch her face and throw her away into river (oppss..sorry for a bit emo)...when someone can't accept her idea, she will reject the person in future conversation.. we of course can't change the whole of her attitude..although she is older a year from the other, we also need respect as we give to her...
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
So she has held onto a more conservative idea and it makes her uncomfortable to hear you speak more liberally? I'm sorry, I am trying to understand. If this is the case, and you value your friendship, just be careful what you talk about when she is around. Respect that she had made her decision to not go the way you are. For example I use to swear like any guy, but now it bothers me and when people start cussing, especially if they swear just to do it, it bothers me a lot. My friends know this so if a cuss word accidentally comes from their mouth, they apologize. If it is from being angry, I understand, I still swear when angered..
• Malaysia
15 Aug 10
yeah..it sound much more like that..we always trying to be careful on each words we talk when she was there..sometimes we respect on her decision, but sometimes..there is any other discussion that we can't accept her decision because we knows any of us have different idea..in other hand, we respecting and consider to other friend's idea... i proud of your friendship-understanding and forgiveness among friends.
1 person likes this
@aevans (255)
• Malaysia
14 Aug 10
Friendship is about sharing and understanding among each other. It can't be just one person controlling what he wants and the others just follow. Sometimes we need to accept others opinion or advice as well. When there is a conflict, bot of you have to figure out the best way to solve the problem, there is always a way to solve without a fight, Your friend just lose her way and I feel that you should just left her alone. You had did what you should do to her, now should let her own self think about who is wrong actually. You all can't just protect her forever. It is good to let her think about the matter.
• Malaysia
15 Aug 10
yeah..i see your words like "Win - Win" result about our situation..maybe she felt that we all hurt her feeling although we know this is not our fault...but forgiveness will strengthen our friendship...i hope she did not continuously blame on us in what happened before...
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
The real meaning of friendship is that first, "knowing the similarities and enjoying it together" and second,"finding differences and respecting it"...true friends understand....
• Malaysia
12 Aug 10
so, so true..friendship should have the most stronger relationship than the other relation...
11 Aug 10
Maybe you could talk with her,and tell her shortcoming that you do not accept it. you are very cherish the friendship ,and don't want to ruin it.Meanwhile you should try to accept her behavior. tag: cherish shotcoming try
• Malaysia
12 Aug 10
our bad, we don't talk to her about that...we really don't want to ruin that friendship...but, we trying to be nice to her after this...