I feel bad when I can't help...

United States
August 12, 2010 7:58am CST
I have met lots of people from all over the world via the internet. I have skyped with several of them. But I have this terrible thing that happens. A lot of times when they know I am from the US they start asking for money. It is usually for a worthwhile reason, such as an orphanage. I don't really know if they even really have one or not but I feel badly when I can't send them anything. Somehow they think because I am from US that I have money. Yeah right! I live on foodstamps and section 8 housing because my income is so low! anway, I still feel bad when I can't help.. do you feel bad when you can't help those you feel do need it?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@aurorastorm (1136)
• United States
12 Aug 10
I think that is a shame that you get so many people asking. I am not in a good money situation right now myself, so it would be hard for me to help others. However, there are a lot worse off people than I am and I wish I could help them. If I ever find myself with a lot of money to spare, there are definitely people even on mylot that I would love to help. In the meantime I will be their friend and I have decided to give up the guilt.
• United States
12 Aug 10
Actually, friendship is worth much more than any thing with monetary value anyway!
@katsmeow1213 (29029)
• United States
12 Aug 10
Unfortunately I am too skeptical. People who really truly need money are usually the ones who do not ask for it. Those who ask for it are very often scamers. Since I have no way of knowing the truth, I would not send money even if I did have it. I personally find it extremely rude and appalling that anyone would have the nerve to ask a complete stranger for money.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
i know all that but still feel bad. I guess I feel bad for being so skeptical as well! But like this morning I was on line and one guy comes on skype. It's not even hardly a hello... just "do you have a digital camera?" I said, "Yeah an old cheap one from like 8 years ago." He said "Okay can I give you my address?" I said of course he could. Then he asked if I was going to send him a digital camera, I laughed and said no!
• United States
12 Aug 10
Wow! That's unbelievable. I would not feel bad about being skeptical.. I think most people out there are just trying to scam you, like this guy today. We all want to help others as best as we can, but you really need to know who you're helping and how you're helping them.. that's why if I had money I'd rather give it to charities of my choosing, that way I know it's being put to good use.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
yeah, I hear ya! I guess that's why I am not blessed with a lot of money, I'd be givin' it away to everybody who asked!
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
12 Aug 10
Well yes I do feel bad when I can't help someone out in need, but you also have to be careful because maybe those people are trying to get some money out of you. You never really know now a days just remember to be careful at all times.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
Yeah, it's just odd that someone starts asking me for something without even taking time to at least get to know me a little bit!! I could be the scammer you know??
• United States
12 Aug 10
I hate when i can't help too, especially when i really want to, but where theres a will theres a way i find another way to help if its not financially i dedicate my time, if i can't do my time i do it financially. I would help that if i needed help one would exausht all there resources to help me or atleast help find the help i need. (helping ppl via the internet and skype that you don't know personally is a scam fyi)
• United States
12 Aug 10
Oh yeah, no doubt!! I just don't like it when they are so obvious with it up front! They just start asking for stuff without knowing me or my situation either!
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
hi.. i feel for you macdingolinger.. i live in a poor country but was raised in a middle class family. i am a nurse and i serve those who are less fortunate than i am. it is very difficult to see 3 pediatric patients having to sleep together in one bed because our government lacks fund for hospital beds. it is sad to meet a mother who cannot even buy a piece of ice as cold compress for her sick child. it is devastating to know that our government cannot afford to buy our hospital a freezer to keep ice for our patients... this is why we should make a difference. i dont know yet how.. it is yet to be discovered. but it is the only way to fix this. we should all make this our goals and we should all fulfill this.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
Yes! See if I had the money I'd have beds shipped to your facility immediately! I want to help and it is frustrating to not be able to!
@shira0524 (483)
• United States
12 Aug 10
I definitely feel bad when I can't help people who I know could use help, however I'm kind of shocked that people you have met online and only know somewhat would do that. Ask you for money. I think that's really pretty rude of them, and quite assumptive, as you've mentioned. Just because you live in the US doesn't mean you're rolling in money. You sound like a good, caring person. Don't let this make you feel bad, but yes, I know exactly what you mean and I have felt that way before as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
I feel bad since I don't really have it to help with legitimate needs! I wish I was rolling in dough... but then I would probably start my own orphanage!
• Malaysia
12 Aug 10
for all we know, those people asking for money may be scammers. It is never right to ask strangers for money. And you have every right to decline. You never know whether those "worthwhile reasons" are for real or now. In any case, even if they are, skype is no place to ask for donations. I would recommend u not to send them anything whether you could or not unless if you can afford it and you're SURE that your money is going to a good cause =)
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 10
I know you are absolutely right. But I feel bad for not being able to help orphans. I just need to find legit ones!(btw like your avatar! my ministry name is "Dove's Fire)
@bwaybaby (904)
• United States
19 Aug 10
Don't feel bad. I don't believe anything anyone says about giving them money on the internet. There are too many people out there who will say they need money for something such as an orphanage that doesn't really exist and then they scam you out of money. It's sad, but true. I don't really donate via the internet, anyway.
@nangisha (3504)
• Indonesia
19 Aug 10
Hi Mac!. Don't feel terrible about it. I don't feel to sympathy to people who become cyber beggar. I believe people in other part of the world who can access internet not the kind of people who truly need your help. The one who truly need help is the one who can not speak it threw internet and living in the house without electricity.
@JayJay45 (157)
• United States
13 Aug 10
Here's what I've learned from living in poor countries. The world sees the USA as the 'richest' country on the planet. They assume because we are from the US that we are all rich. For many of the people in these countries their only exposure to us and our culture is through movies/hollywood (and Hollywood always comes across rich with their mansions and pools, and fancy cars) and through tourists. They know that it costs alot of money to get to their country so assume the tourist is rich because they are there. I have found that so many of them have no concept of 'saving up' for something or even understand the very idea of working 2 or more jobs to get the money to go to their country. It's just not in their realm of experience. Many of the people who are contacting you are probably scammers, or beggars, too lazy to actually go out there and try to do something for themselves. Those who really need help are often too embarrassed to ask, or will go out and find a program in their country that can help in the right way. Giving someone money actually hurts them in the long run, it just fuels their dependence on you and others. It is better to help them through an agency who is there and knows the system. A true friend, or someone here on-line who just wants to talk and learn would not ask you for things/money. Tell those people to get lost and stop feeling bad/guilty -- that's how they get you!
13 Aug 10
My answer to this is, if you don't know for sure about the people or situation, do not send money. There are so many people that are preying on others today that want to get sympathy and money like this. If this is the true situation, God is trying to get their attention. He wants them to come to him and accept them in their lives. If you keep sending money, it may be endless. Then you will end up in a bad situation. You might be sincere in your heart and they know that, so be mighty careful who you respond to with money. Yes, in answer to your question. I do feel sad if I can't help, but God is always there and I know he takes care of situations like this. He takes care of them too, but by your saying they usually ask for money. That should be a red flag. Don't get me wrong, some can be legitimate, but if you are not sure, you need to contact your State Attorney Generals Office to see if it is. If they don't know they can usually point you to someone that does. Hope this is of some help to you. cricket10
@srineeya (52)
• India
13 Aug 10
your question is very beautiful. more countries is now a time have a lot of very poor people and also the people are not understanding to earing money. more people telling us gyes are very rich and helping hands.. i know your problem your economical status is normal only so you cannot help others.. nice ly tell that people i cannot help you because my earning is too looo... because more us people are helping others.. thats why more people giving request to helping us... dont worry keep in internet and chating friends thank you