Would you let your 18 year old's boyfriend or girlfriend sleep over?

@ladym33 (11012)
United States
August 14, 2010 3:46pm CST
Would you let your 18 year old's boyfriend or girlfriend sleep over? The person would be sleeping in thier room with them not in a spare room because it is unsafe to drive home or something like that. So would you let your 18 daughter or son have their boyfriend or girlfriend sleep over?
6 people like this
16 responses
@marsha32 (2239)
• United States
14 Aug 10
you are asking the wrong person here....as soon as my daughter turned 18, her boyfriend moved in with her....they don't live with me, but I see it as the same as spending the night (which he wasn't allowed to do, by the way, before she turned 18) But, when she turned 18, I (and my younger daughter) moved out, leaving her there. I also, live with my boyfriend, so you may as well say I sleep over with him every night. At 18, they are considered an adult, so if it's your home, the choice would be yours on what you feel comfortable with. I would assume they are already sexually active. Marsha
@ladym33 (11012)
• United States
14 Aug 10
Something I have not had to deal with yet. My oldest is 14, so far she has not given me anything to worry about. One of our neighbors is going through this right now so it gave me the idea for the question.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
15 Aug 10
For your own sake, (and that of your daughter) get her on birthcontrol immediately. Young girls with the best intentions, can be sexually aroused beyond the point the of resistance. This is not about right and wrong, or good and bad, its more about the adult urge to reproduce!
@thedaddym (1737)
• United States
14 Aug 10
He** no!!!!If I caught someone upstairs with my daughter I would drag the SOB out by his hair and toss him out on the front lawn. There is no way that I would ever let that happen under my roof. I don't care if she is 18 I still think that is way to young plus I would not want that happening in my home. No way, no how, Uh uh, totally unacceptable!!!
@cream97 (29179)
• United States
24 Aug 10
Hi, ladym33. No. I would never let my 18 year old gf or bf sleep over at my house. Not where they are in the same room together! That is just out of the question! I am not going to allow the two of them to have this privilege at all. Once they start this, then they will want to do something else that I know that I would not be comfortable with in my own home!
@carolscash (9506)
• United States
16 Aug 10
It would depend on how much trust I had in either of them. I would not allow them to sleep in the same room, but I might allow him to stay over and sleep elsewhere. My daughter had her own trailer bought and paid for when she turned 18 so it was hard for me to say much when he stayed there, but she knew that I was not thrilled aobut it. I hope that someday she will see that I was only strict on her to make her more responsible and she is! Her boss has told us that we done a great job as parents although she thought we were harsh with her as she was growing up (my daughter has been at the same job since 14 and she will soon be 20). Now she says that we done the right thing.
• United States
15 Aug 10
I would not let this happen. Ever. This is to young for bf/gf to be sleeping in the same room. My parents were very strict with this and I will be the same. None of their children had children before the age of 20 years old. I want grand children but not before my kids are mature enough and married!
• United States
15 Aug 10
For many reasons I would not recommend this. If I will be saving a persons life I would do it in aheart beat. I would want the same done for my daughter. There is a floor and a couch in most everyones homes. My daughter had a friend here the othr night. They went to a party and they had one cab fare left. So my daughter came home with her friend. I found them both knocked out on the couch. One at one end the other at the other end. Sleep like logs. Safety comes first in my eyes. Do what you would want done with your child.
@ptower76 (1622)
• United States
15 Aug 10
When I was growing up, that was a total No-No in my home. If i brought a girl over and invited her into my room, the door would have to remain wide open while mother bee hovered around constantly. Age has no influence on the situation, only marriage where i come from. If they are married they can sleep in the same room in my house. If not, if the young man does not want to sleep on the floor in the living room because the conditions are not safe for him to travel home, then he better take his chances with the elements and not with me because he will not sleep in the same bed as my daughter in my house especially at that age. Allow it the first time and you will see how many of those unsafe to travel home situations occur in the future.
@lacieice (2065)
• United States
15 Aug 10
I've let my daughter's boyfriend sleep over, but not in her room. He either slept on the couch or in the spare room. My daughter had a lot of respect for the rules of the house, and she would feel very uncomfortable being intimate with someone in my presence.
@Mairee (8)
• United States
15 Aug 10
I wouldn't, but that's me. If they want to sleep together there isn't a whole lot I can do about it, but it won't be in my house.
@sender621 (14970)
• United States
15 Aug 10
I could not see myself allowing this arrangement to happen. If they want to spend time with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they can do it without sleeping over. The only way that i would allow a situation like this is if there was a problem in their home and they had nowhere else to go for the night. It would have to be extreme for I would be accepting of it..
@DawGwath (1046)
• Romania
15 Aug 10
Yeah, why not? Everyone has been a teenager at some point in their lives and knows how important it is to maintain a good relationship. They might as well be doing it in my house.
• United States
15 Aug 10
My initial response is a no! But one time my daughter's boyfriend was at our house and a big rain came. It rained so much the bridge flooded and he couldn't get out since there was only one way in! He had to stay the night. He slept on the couch though!
• United States
15 Aug 10
Well, first I have to wonder why it isn't safe for him to drive home, and how old he is. However, I doubt that I would let them sleep together. There's always the sofa or a sleeping bag on the living room floor. And I would make it quite clear that this arrangement is OK with his parents, too, if he still lives at home.
@owlwings (34216)
• Cambridge, England
14 Aug 10
I would say that, at 18, both are probably old enough to know what it's all about. Let's face it, if you say that they can sleep together, then you are very likely just endorsing/acknowledging something they have done without your knowledge. You could insist that they sleep in separate rooms but, for heaven's sake, be real! Most ageing parents get around the situation by letting it be known that, as long as THEY or other, younger members of the household, don't 'know' about it, then it's OK. I suppose it rather depends on whether your culture accepts 21, 18 or 16 as the 'age of consent'. I have always tried to make sure that my kids knew exactly what was acceptable and what was not from the age of zilch (depending on their need to understand, of course). It was certainly a wrench when I realised that one of my kids was no longer a 'child' but we all have to grow up (and I like to think that I have been better at 'allowing' than my parents were)
@carmelanirel (21113)
• United States
14 Aug 10
I allowed my daughter b/f to sleep over only one time and that was because the roads had become dangerously icy.. He did not sleep in her room, he slept on the couch, there's no way I'd let him sleep in her room.. Oh, btw, she was 20, but that isn't the point, the point is, under my roof, unless you are married, you don't sleep together whether you are 19, 20, or 120...
@GardenGerty (74208)
• Marion, Kansas
14 Aug 10
No, I would not have done it when they were that age and I would not do it now. It is against my personal morals and so I will not have them sleep together in my house. Now I would put them in an extra bed or on the sofa, etc. if for some reason they could not drive home.