Do we really have to follow our parents to decide for ourselves?

Philippines
August 14, 2010 10:48pm CST
I knew a few people,who didn't accepted nor believes in their parents guidance,but still manages to end up with a good life. I also knew a few who follows their parents guidance (even if its not with their free will) and end up having a lonely life. Which do you prefer,follow yourself,do the best you can for your life and be happy with it OR follow what your parents say and either be happy with the outcome or just accept whether you'll be happy or not in the end?
3 people like this
18 responses
@bird123 (10501)
• United States
15 Aug 10
One should listen to the advice of others but WALK YOUR OWN PATH!!! Life's lessons are best learned that way. It is your life. The choices are yours. No one can have a better view of your life than you. Make wise choices for consequences follow to teach us all.
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
What you've said is true. Very nice and very well said. It's also my point of view that we should listen to advises given to us by the people who cares about us,but still it's our decision that will matter. Thank you so much for the response.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
15 Aug 10
When you are a parent, you always want to be there for your child. you want to support and guide them in whatever they do. Children can follow the advice that parents give. In the end, children have to make their own choices. The help they get from a parent just helps them along their own path in life.
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
Actually,I am a parent now, a single mom. I'm kind of afraid that I might not be able to guide my kids well. When I was in the middle of my teenage years, I started to think of the advises that my parents are telling. I used to disobey some of them, and thought that I have the rights to choose on what to do or what to be become someday. Of course,I do fail sometimes,but that made me think that if I choose to decide something for myself and don't take my parents advise,I should take the consequences of my actions. And it molded me to become a stronger person,but that sort of attitude that I had somehow fears me. What if my kids will do the same thing someday,will I be able to accept it? I mean,I love my kids so much,that I just want the best for them,but I also have to accept,and even apply it now (even if they're only toddlers),that they have to decide somehow for themselves, And I'll always be here to support them all the way. Thanks for the response!
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
15 Aug 10
I am not really sure what you mean, when you mentioned lonely it threw me for a loop. Let me tell you what my response was going to be, and then you can maybe better explain to me what you meant? Here's what my response is by what I interpret your discussion to be asking : Parents only mean the best, and while sometimes the way they go about things makes you want to get away from them, some of the things, if not all of the things they say will work and actually are true. My grandmother especially really annoyed me, but I realize now she just worries too much, and only meant and means the best. Sometimes getting out is the best thing, I've done that before. Now my husband and I live with his parents, and sometimes it can be annoying but well we really do owe a lot to them as they help us out so much.
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
Hi! Thanks for responding. What I meant of being lonely is that, after choosing to take all of your parents advises,then one day, you've finally realize that that wasn't the life you want. But you find it too late for your life to change it the way you want it to be. That's what I meant of being lonely. :) Thanks again!
@chiyosan (29887)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
I believe that we should always have our parent's blessings for the things we do. It does not mean though that we are obliged to do whatever they asks of us - We have our own destiny, our fate. we have to go for whatever it is that makes us happy - but making sure our parents understands and supports us with our decision. We have to let them know that yes, we sure are in the position to decide for ourselves and that we will never disappoint them. i just think that they are always strict, etc because they do not want us to fall short of what we are doing, to commit mistakes, etc.
@myiesha (97)
• Singapore
16 Aug 10
When I was single, I make my own decisions but I take in consideration of my mother's opinion. Whatever the outcome of my decisions would be, I only have myself to blame. It's my life, my choice, my decision and I'll take responsibility for it. But now that I am married, before anything else I would discuss it with hubby and ask what's his opinion and weights things. Though from time to time, I still seek my mother's advise/opinion but still I make the final decision.
@sjaswon (639)
• Jamaica
16 Aug 10
I must follow my parents when I am a child. If I don't do. It would be trouble. I am big man now. I still follow them. But they think I am not enough for right behavior? If They ignore guideline then I follow them?
• China
16 Aug 10
i think this is not a simple question...this depends on whaich aspect they gave their suggestions. sometimes they are right ,sometimes you are right.... when we are young ,always follow our parent, because that time for us all the things are new ,and the result always likes that ,if we follow parent ,everything is ok ,if not ,sometimes will happen some bad things.... what you touch your first job or career , you will feel confused ,maybe i think that time we need some suggestions from our parents,becase they have worked ,they have experiences on how to deal with other people and things so ,i think for me ,the answer is very easy ,when i have a problem ,discuss with my parents ,just around the table ,if they are right ,i follow them ,if my is right , i will explain it to them until they allow me for a try... so ,things will not be complex like what you think ,try to discuss with your parent more time ,maybe it is more funny and easier than what you have thought..
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
My parents were kind of like that when we were still younger. They always decided for us and we cant even say things that we wanted to say cause every thing that they say is something that we need to follow whether we like it or not.
@sheatiel (46)
• India
16 Aug 10
we must think and acept our parents guidance every time.
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
i dont think we REALLY have to, like you said we were given free will for a reason. but parents are there for a reason as well. at least take into consideration what they are trying to say, there's no better teacher than experience and they've gone through probably most of everything you're just about to go through.
@thaMARKER (3094)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
of course not all the time.. you don't have to follow them because you don't wanna hurt their feelings or make them mad at you. hey.. it's your life. you're going to live with it. just make sure you're making the right decision on your own, if not -- then at least you've done everything you could to make you happy and did what you really want.
@06MLam (622)
15 Aug 10
I think that our parents are just giving us some advice and guidance and these might not be what we are willing to follow. However, I think we should still consider about their suggestions carefully before making any of the decisions as their opinion may give us some ideas to the right track. Therefore, I think that we should make the final decision by ourselves instead of following our parents blindly. However, before making any decision, we should also consider what our parents have suggested so as to give ourselves a fuller picture about the future after making such a decision.
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
15 Aug 10
Hi prettyauds, When people become parents, they have a responsibility to guide and train their children to be the best citizens they can be. This process goes on for many many years, but when those children reach a certain age, the age of maturity or accountability, parents must give those children the opportunity to make their own choices and mistakes. Sometimes, it is the children who will not take the opportunity to make their own choices, they continue to rely on their parents for advice. I do think it is better to make your own choices, but if you need to, ask for advice from the parents. Then, you make the final decision based on your feelings alone.
@choconut (298)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
this is a hard question! I grew up following my dreams, because my mom always tell me and remind me that this is my life, i should decide on it. She believes that if she let us dream on our own, so we could grow on our own. She always reminded me when i was still young (younger than today, i'm still young, i'm 21) i should learn how to fall so i will know how to rise up again. So whenever i ask her what she wants she would always tell me "what do you want?" though she would always have that suggestion and comments for every decisions we make but you can expect her to be there full support! If based on my experience, i could answer this. I would say follow my parent, because even though i was given the opportunity to decide on my own, i was always reminded that i'm not doing this just for my own but also for her, so i always consider her in every decision that i make regarding my future. And often times i listen to her suggestions especially when she tells it with determination and spirit. With everything in my life, i can say i'm happy and contented with the things are.
@Chubsko (51)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
When we are young yes we really need to follow our parents to decide for ourselves but as we grow old and have our own established life what we can ask from our parents are only their opinion but it is still up to us if we will follow. Example with our love life most of the time they want us to follow them in loving a person because for them it is right but we do not have feelings for that person they want for us, for that i believe we will not follow them but to follow our own hearts because it is already talking about how to have our own good happy family.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 10
Hi, For me, I will listen to my parent's advices,but they don't have the right to interrupt my life. I can consider their advice and do the best for my own life. I have grown up and I have the right to make my own decision. Of course, My parents ' concern and advices are kinda of guidance for me. I am happy with my life now and I believe my parents feel happy for me too.
• United States
15 Aug 10
No not all the time well don't get me wrong it is so nice to have a parent that will lead you in a right direction of your life teah you proper values but it doen't give them the full rights to just step in your shoes and make decision in your behalf but if you are just a teenager yes they can but when you are pass in your teenage years no way.....You have to make your own decision in your ife coz what ever the resut of your decision youwill be the one who will gonna take the consequenses of your action. Your choice in life makes you
• United States
15 Aug 10
if i have something i want to do with my life and my parents do not accept i am going to follow what i want and try my hardest to succeed in what i want. My mom wants me to be something i dont so i would just follow myself and see where that leads.