Anger Management 101

@ip5217 (1656)
Philippines
August 17, 2010 12:25am CST
I am so pissed right now. There's the someone whom I shouldn't even be mindful about in the first place, he is no one. He is not even my husband nor my boyfriend that can totally make a difference in my life. However, what he is doing right now is making my day at work so unpleasant. I am trying my best to stay calm, but because I see his face the entire day, I can't help but carry this heavy baggage as I work. I don't want to confront him either because I am avoiding a fight and I don't want to be stressed. I don't know, either way I'm already stressed by his mere presence. I'm seeking advice on anger management. I hope you can give me one or two.
2 people like this
14 responses
• India
17 Aug 10
I can relate to you perfectly…even I face similar situations in my workplace, more often than not. And then of course you understand that one cannot really go up and pick a fight in the office and create a scene about it…that’s why its all the more so difficult to suppress your feelings and act normal. However, when the situation seems to spiral out of control for me, I try to think about my son…something funny he’s said previously that made me laugh, maybe what subject we’d study later in the evening, his daily school stories…actually my point is that try and divert your thoughts to something more dear to you, something more important and engrossing to you, or some event which you are planning and which you hope would bring joy to you.
@ip5217 (1656)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
True true! That's why I express myself through writing. This is my outlet really. Happy thoughts, let's see. Yes, there's one today. With me being so addicted to writing online, I am so happy to see that my income is progressing day by day. That on the other hand is making me happy. Happy thoughts again. Everytime I feel my baby kicks inside me, she eases my stress level, bringing it down to 0.
• India
18 Aug 10
This is so very true…our kids are our greatest stressbusters
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
17 Aug 10
Well I am not much of help because even I have problems controlling my anger that it just gets out of hand. Anyway you are writing this out on mylot that's good because then it helps you get rid of some of your stress that you are feeling from your anger so you are doing that right. SO yeah pretty much when I get angry I always go on mylot and write out what happened and usually the other mylot members do help a lot. That's why I love mylot so much. I hope that you will soon be relieved of your anger and can once again be happy.
@aurorastorm (1136)
• United States
17 Aug 10
I am not sure what he did to make you so angry, but if you are trying to avoid a conflict with him, the best way to do that is just stay quietly to yourself. If you are able to listen to some music, that often is a good stress release. Is there a supervisor or something that can intervene on your behalf and speak to this person?
• United States
17 Aug 10
Keep telling yourself that your life is so precious and this person's life is meaningless to yours. When you have to glance his way think about wonderful things in life and this will keep your mind off this person. Do not lose precious seconds of your wonderful life dwelling on a person that clearly upsets you. Try really hard and get through yet another day.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
17 Aug 10
Anger management is very important in life. You will get into trouble because of your anger. Also, anger makes you lose many opportunities which you deserve. Anger has a big role in your relationships. So, be careful. I have seen people who don't have control over their anger. I have even seen priests who are not able to control their anger. It is very important thing to be controlled if you want a happy family. People who can't control their anger should meet with a psychatrist.
@nobbsy123 (852)
• Australia
17 Aug 10
Thats normal for everyone to get annoyed from time to time. Im thinking about the options as im typing this.....Doing nothing ie staying away from him does exactly that nothing. Sure you avoid getting more angry but it doesn't solve the situation. Talking to the person can make you angry at first and yet i'm sure that two adults can come up with some agreement without a dispute. Im sure that is the answer to talk to him or the situation will get worse and worse until one day you snap and do something you may regret like swearing and that. Doing that could lead to you losing your job. Hope this helps with your situation anyway. Best of luck.
@myiesha (97)
• Singapore
17 Aug 10
When I'm angry or really stressed out and I don't want to face it head-on, to avoid conflict/fight and make it worst what I do is take papers (a bunch of it) and strip it into small pieces as much as can. I vent my anger on stripping the papers. It may sound a little childish but it makes me feel relieved afterwards.
@wingnuts (62)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
Hi ip! I have also experience that. Anger management is as easy or as hard that you may think it is. Easy because many have successfully managed their anger without any problem. Hard because others have find it too difficult no matter how hard they tried. This is because each one of us is different, and one effective method may work with one person but not with the other one. I have try this method if you feel that you want to yell out of the window: 1.) Relax. Close your eyes and take a deep breath 10 times or more. 2.) Focus your mind on your work and not on HIM! 3.) Have a nice and enjoyable conversation with your co-worker. 4.) Always think that you go to office to work, not to have a fight! 5.) PRAY! I think thsi is the most important! These may or may not work but just try them. Hope this helps! Thanks!
• United States
17 Aug 10
oh my gush it is not a good feeling to be angry and the person that cause you to be angry is not related to you and the worst part is that he was part of your daily life which is your work gush it is hard. I experience that when i was working before and i had a collegue of mind that i do not like her and and we alwasy have you know dispute.She makes my day upsidw down. What i did was that i resign from my work and got i a new job and one thing right now i am so happy in my new job and it pay me well. MAybe it has a reason why we did not get along well coz there is a better opputtunity that awaits me lol. thanks to her
• United States
17 Aug 10
Breathe, count to 60 (I say this because ten is never enough), you might want to remove yourself from the situation and look at the situation. Confront him (avoiding him will just make things worse in this situation), but do it calmly and think about what you are going to say, and make him listen, if he won't, get ready to go to Human Resources because this man is asking for it. You, nor anyone, should have to put up with garbage from co-workers.
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
Hey cool down ip. I suggest for you to take a deep breath and when you exhale, imagine that all your angry feeling will subside. It's a normal reaction of every individual, everybody experiences such behavior, even animals do feel angry when they are being hurt. But as a human being it can cause us physical, emotional, social and legal problems if we can't be able to manage it. When I'm angry, I want to be alone like in my room and you know what if I get a picture of that person, what I do is write into it a drawing so he would look funny then cut it into many pieces and burn it. That is how I express my anger so I would not hurt myself and anybody else. After a day or two that my angst subside... I approach the person and I talked with him/her. Because I've calmed down, then I can control myself not to say bad things or hurt him emotionally and physically. I just want to make him understand what wrong he did to me so it won't be repeated anymore.
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
Hey cool down ip. I suggest for you to take a deep breath and when you exhale, imagine that all your angry feeling will subside. It's a normal reaction of every individual, everybody experiences such behavior, even animals do feel angry when they are being hurt. But as a human being it can cause us physical, emotional, social and legal problems if we can't be able to manage it. When I'm angry, I want to be alone like in my room and you know what if I get a picture of that person, what I do is write into it a drawing so he would look funny then cut it into many pieces and burn it. That is how I express my anger so I would not hurt myself and anybody else. After a day or two that my angst subside... I approach the person and I talked with him/her. Because I've calmed down, then I can control myself not to say bad things or hurt him emotionally and physically. I just want to make him understand what wrong he did to me so it won't be repeated anymore.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
I have been in your position ones..and what i did was just ignore the person. Pretend that he doesn't exist..never to look in his eyes or try not to bump with him/her, try to stay away from the place she/he is working. Try talking to your other co-workers and talk anything happy.. I tried all these things and it just works for me. Hope it works for you too. Have a good day
@akn1961 (1035)
• India
17 Aug 10
whenever i am angry then i go to lonly place or take sleep,and think cooly ,i find the solutions,that is my way.