What will you do if your husband hurt you?

Philippines
August 17, 2010 2:03pm CST
In a relationship, they say, man should take care of their wife. But, what if the man who supposed to protect his family is the one who hurts his family. What if the man starts to hurt his wife and not capable anymore to protect his wife. These ideas sometimes bothering me since now a days, it is very difficult to enter into a marriage life. How about you, what will you do if your husband hurt you? What if he does it repeatedly, then will just say "Im Sorry" on the next day and on the following day?
2 people like this
25 responses
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
If a man hurts his wife, there is no more reason to protect the sanctity of marriage. In the Philippines, we have R.A. 9262, or the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children. Battered women can avail of that protection. The problem is, women who have this battered woman syndrome find it difficult to convince themselves to get out of the unsafe marriage. During and after the battery, they get hurt at first and think of leaving their husbands. Then they start to think that perhaps they have done something wrong to deserve that. Then they blame themselves. The husband says sorry, and she forgives him... and then the cycle repeats. This should stop. These women need friends and support groups. The government and the society seeks to protect them. However, they should also be willing to save themselves.
• China
18 Aug 10
So just like waht I said in my response,if domestic violence happened only once,mostly it will happened repeatedly in future.The most paramount thing for those afflicting women to do is just to leave their violent husband forwardly.
• United States
17 Aug 10
You only get one time to do anything to me that goes for hitting and cheating. I am gone and that is that. I am not affraid to struggle on my own to live by myself. I would leave this man in one second flat. I would call the police adn press full charges too. I would get a order of protection and change my phone number. I would find a way to protect myself from him. Even if this meant moving out of state with the clothes on my back.
• China
18 Aug 10
I agree with you.If my husband hitted or cheated me(badly and intentionally),mostly I will leave him.I am not afraid to be independent both in mental and financial sides.Just like you!
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
19 Aug 10
Most cities of any size have a battered womens shelter where a woman and her minor children can seek shelter from an abusive spouse, There, she will receive food, clothing and counseling.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
18 Aug 10
The first time he hurt me, i will probably kill him, sweetie. There won't be a second time and sorry won't cut it, either. No man is suppose to ever abuse his wife. Then he isn't a man at all. TATA.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
You are talking of an abusive husband. I will not tolerate any physical pain. I am more lenient when it comes to verbal abuse but never on the physical aspect. My husband and I were always having an argument then that we almost were going to hit each other. He never did lay his hands on me, which is a good (or bad) thing because this did not really force me to leave him. But, if he will inflict physical on me, just once, I'm off the road with my kids. I'd not think of any alibis for his actions because this is not forgivable for me. I couldn't be so blind to let him hurt me again the second, or third and so on. I wouldn't be a martyr. Besides, when a man starts hitting his wife, for sure there'll be more to come... God bless you, Airasheila.:)
• Canada
18 Aug 10
I can't speak to what a woman would, or should do, because I'm a man myself. but what i can say is that men that have degraded to the point of hurting family members need to see that they need to change, and sometimes that requires that the family separate from him. (He is after all not fulfilling his resposiblity as a family head.) You need not be ungraceful when you leave, But rest assured you need to leave. Especially if he is repeatedly abusive. If not for your sake then for his. I'm not a shrink But i am a child of misfortune. I think that speaks for itself.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
18 Aug 10
My parents' divorced were caused by my father hitting my mom. Well, in this side, I didn't say that my father hit my mom without any reasons. Though my mom made mistakes, I would prefer my father told my mom about it. I don't like men hitting or acting rude to women. If my future husband hits me.. No! I can't accept that. I think I would run away from the house and ask for divorce. I don't like that. I really couldn't help that. I think everything can be said. There's no use to use that hand to hurt others. I couldn't accept it..
@emdyey09 (264)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
If that ever happen to me, I will leave him. A husband has no right to hurt his wife. If the husband does it repeatedly then you should sue him.
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
18 Aug 10
Hi airasheila, Hurting can come in many ways. A person can be hurt emotionally, physically, mentally, and so on. In a marriage or couples relationship we look to our partner for protection and support, but when the trust is gone and the abuse starts, then the injured person has serious decisions to make. It doesn't matter what form of abuse take place, the hurt is real. What does a person do if they are hurt? They either will continue in the relationship enabling the person that hurt them by accepting an apology over and over again, or they will say, "enough" and get out of the relationship and become whole again. No, I would not stay in an abusive relationship. No matter how long it took me, I would find a way out.
@ellechoi (282)
• Hong Kong
18 Aug 10
hi, actually, i don't have a husband or boy friend . But i can tell you what i will do. If they hurt me the 1st time , i can forgive. But if it's continue, i won't . I will fight back. I don't like people who hurt me, except my parent. I don't need man who hurt woman
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
i think all i can do is leave him..and if ever i have a chance to go to other country,i will do and i will try to forget my husband and make a new life there...
@BigTips (305)
• China
18 Aug 10
Why your husband hurts you? Are you sure it is his fault this time? If your answer is YES, then I advise you to take some measures to let him realize of his mistake and make a honest apologize to you later. In my eyes, the best way to keep a long relationship between the couple is try to communicate with each other. Yes, communication is the most effective to eliminate differences. Hope you can enjoy a better life with your husband.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
I always cry when my husband hurt my feelings. It happened many times before and I didnt like it of course cause I felt like I was nothing and that I dont mean anything to him. Nowadays when we hurts me, I dont cry anymore. I show him that I am tough though its hurting inside. Its because of him that made me decide to do that. Anyway, I need to be strong for myself cause if I wont, then who would?
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
if my husband hit me once, i will not allow him to do it ever again. it's not just unacceptable, it's just plain vile. i won't even keep a man who would say abusive things to me. if my husband in any way behaved abusively towards me, i will leave him because not only did he break his vow to me, he made a mockery of the vow he made to God as well so I certainly will not stand for it. sorry just won't do it for me.
• China
18 Aug 10
Then what do you define the concept of hurt? If you mean physical hurt,definitely I will leave him withour any hesitation.I always believe that if domestic violence happened once,then incidents like this mostly would happen again and again.We women can't be tolerant with this violent incident.But if my husband didn't hurt me intentionally,probably I would choose to forgive him and give him another chance.Because no one in this world is perfect.
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
quarrel is normal between husband and wife but if the husband hurt his wife physically I think this is not right if I were in that situation i will leave my husband and my children will understand if they see that their father physically abuse their mother women should be love but not to hurt them
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
17 Aug 10
well, since i'm a guy and don't plan on marrying a guy since i'm not guy plus the fact gay marriage isn't legal in my state i can't really say anything. all i would say is really know someone before jumping on the marriage bandwagon and if your still not sure then don't get married.
@gajamor (35)
• Norway
17 Aug 10
I think this is impossible to answer truely before you have been in a situation like this. I'm lucky to have found a man who would rather hurt himself than me, but if I had married a violent man I hope i would have found the courage to leave imidiately. I know that I would support any of my friends who got in a situation like this. When I teach language classes for immigrant women, one of my first subjects is where to find help if they need it. I also teach this to 14-15 year old girls in social science classes in the local junior high. Hopefully they'll never need it, but if they do, they should know what do do.
• United States
17 Aug 10
I would leave him. I mean what is the point to stay with someone that abuses you. I know love does alot of crazy things to people but come on now. I'd def. leave him and change my name and leave the state if i had to.
@DawGwath (1044)
• Romania
17 Aug 10
Family violence can never be justified and an "I'm sorry" won't do squat, it will not heal the physical and the psychological wounds that it leaves. When that happens, it's time to call the cops and leave him for good. That's why it's best to know your guy/girl like the back of your hand before having a child and/or getting married. It saves you from a lot of drama and pain.