And you bug me....

United States
August 19, 2010 10:35am CST
Okay so the place I live in is an apt place with three apts in it, we have lived here for coming on three years now but the landlords are the same people from our old house that we lived in for 6 years. Now the place the I live in is an old huge house..there are two apts in the front one on the top and one on the bottom and then there is our place that takes up the whole back of the house and is upstairs and downstairs. It has three bedrooms,living room, dining room, two bathrooms, full basement, sunporch and a den that we use as the computer room so there are a lot of times that you forget that you are in an apt because it is the size of a house. We also have the whole back yard to ourselves and a driveway with garage. We absolutely love this neighborhood and the neighbors are wonderful especially compared to the ones in the old neighborhood. There are two older ladies that live in the front half of the apt...one is in her mid 40's and one is in her mid 60's and they share the front half of the house like the front porch and the front yard. Well my husband is the only guy that lives within the house so he usually mows the grass and shovels the sidewalks for them. Anyhow as some of you may now I am trying to start up my own photography business and I just recieved a lawnsign that I had ordered with my info on it and was hoping that I could place the sign in the front yard of the house so that all the cars that drove by could see it and I could maybe get a little bit of business from it. So anyways I talked to my one neighbir(the 60 year old) and she said she didn't care but I would have to ask the other neighbor as well which I did plan on doing anyhow but she wasn't home at the time so I caught them both out this morning and I asked the 40 year old if she cared if I place the sign in the front of the house which please keep in mind that I am not placing the sign in the front yard for say but yet in the front grass that is in between the road and the sidewalk which technically is the citys property but anyway she said "No, I don't think so because it would just bug me to stare at that all day long" and while I was nice and said ok, no problem thank you and walked back to my place I was really upsset thinking to myself that while this neighbor has lived in the house for 13 years and all, it is my husband that mows her grass, shovels her sidewalk and porch off in the winter so she can get out without and problems and she is always walking through the backyard as a short cut to get into town and we never say anything because we are just nice like that and want to have a good relationship with the neighbors but it really kinda pissed me off when she said no...which I am sure this will never happen but there is almost a part of me that wants to tell my husband to let her mow and shovel her own yard... Am I wrong to be so upset about this? How would you feel? I know no one knows my husband and myself but this crap is always happening..we do something nice for others and ask for nothing in return but yet when we ask one small favor they can't ever do the same!!! Sorry this is just my rant for the day I guess!!!
5 people like this
10 responses
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
25 Aug 10
I'm glad the woman reconsidered. She probably realised that her selfishness could have some nasty repercussions for her. Meanwhile, I would still proceed with caution because the city may have rules about you sticking a sign on city land. Is there a front fence? Maybe you could attach the sign to the fence. Good luck. BTW, your home sounds absolutely wonderful...how lucky you are ....and what a huge house it must have been originally.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 10
Hello Ms Tickle, yes I am still going to proceed with caution...I checked with the city as well as my landlord before I even asked the neighbors. But I decided that I am not going to worry about putting the sign out, it stinks because I feel like it could really help generate some business because it is a busy area but I am not going to worry about it because I feel that if she is petty enough to say no in the beginning than that is how she really feels and she only said yes for the wrong reason...I dont want any resentment on either side. I was told by the landlords that this house was a mansion home in the early 1800's and the half that we are in was the maids section LOL...Thanks for your response!!
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
6 Sep 10
I think that's the wise choice. If ever I get to come to the USA I will try and pop in for a coffee...would that be cool with you???
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
19 Aug 10
I don't blame you for being angry. Maybe you can give it a rest for a few days and talk with her once again. Explain to her exactly what you are doing and why. Also explain the point of the sign is not to bother her but to drum up business for you. She might have been having a bad day and taking it out on you. If she says no once more I would remind her who does all the work around the outside of the house and walk away. What's she going to do if you put the sign up anyway? If she's not the owner of the house there isn't much she can do except remove it. Problem with that is though it might start a revolution. Something else you might try is to talk to the owner first and then approach this lady once more. If she says no simply tell her the owner gave his/her permission to put the sign up in the yard. Again, I don't blame you for being angry.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 10
Thanks for your response carol, these are all great ideas but I have great news!!! She came over yesterday and told me that she was sorry and thought about it and decided that it wasn't that big of a deal so I was more than welcome to put the sign in the yard!!! I guess what upset me more than the fact that we take care of her yard was the fact that I thought that we all get along pretty well and I wasn't sure why she seemed to have such a problem with it but like you mentioned she had a bit of time and must of thought about it and either felt cruddy for saying no or thought if she makes us mad her yard wont get mowed and shoveled so she better say yes wither way... thanks for your response carol
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
24 Aug 10
She felt my vibes...lol Great, glad things turned around and you can place the sign in the yard. Much success to you.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
19 Aug 10
one thing ya should have aked before haveing the sign made. but then too dont think it would be an eye sore for her long ya tend to get used to it and dont see it any how thats like the sign my daughter has on our front fence we hardly pay anny attention to it any more!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Aug 10
Well we do have a back yard that is backed up to an alley that does get a little traffic which I intended for the sign to go but I thought since there was more traffic in the front that it would be better suited up there. The sign was free through Vistaprint since I ordered my business cards through there as well so it is not like I am out a bunch of money from it which is nice and I am still going to put it in the back of the yard but I just felt that for all that my husband had done for her without a Thanks that she could atleast kinda do the same. Thanks for your response!!
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
19 Aug 10
glad it didnt cost alot but yup you would think that she wouldnt say no!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Aug 10
I suppose if she'd been afraid you would get in trouble from the landlord or the city zoning committee or something, but just because it would bug her to look at it? Sounds pretty mean spirited to me...
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Sep 10
Oh yes, if she was looking out for me when she said no I would understand but her No was because she was being selfish... She has since told me that I can go ahead and place it into the side yard but I am not going to...I don't know how to explain it but the whole gitty of it is now gone since she first told me No...thanks for your response Dawnald
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
23 Aug 10
First of all, I can't believe that the only reason she can come up for not wanting to put a sign in the front yard is because it will 'bug her' from staring at it all day long. "Then don't stare!" Anyway, you could go back and talk to her again. This time just to let her know that you are still going to put the sign up in the front yard, but on city property, which just happened to be in front of the yard. And that the reason you are telling her is not to ask permission, but just for courtesy. And if she makes a big deal about it, then I guess she would definitely know a week after. When the grass on her side of the front yard start growing longer than it should. Or on the next dump of snow.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 10
Hehehe...I completely agree bounce. And if I was meaner I would of said OMG get over it and stare it the other direction but I am not so I just walked away in confusion. And after thinking about it for a minute or two I got upset and then pissed. She has since told me that I could put the sign out front but I decided that after the way she acted I didn't uch feel like putting the sign up any longer...Thanks for your resposne bounce!!!
• India
20 Aug 10
No, you’ve every right to be pissed off, in fact just reading this post makes me think to myself ‘what a mean lady”… And why does she need to stare at it the whole day? Doesn’t she have any other work!!! I know it would be equally rude to ask you hubby to stop helping her or to say no to her for the shortcut thru our backyard, but then we all know that nice people like us (who listen to our conscience) can never say NO just like that! Even then, it wouldn’t really have hurt her if she said YES…why do people purposely create inconvenience for others …or does it give them some secret pleasure to put somebody in trouble!!!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
20 Aug 10
That is so pathetic of this woman to refuse your sign just because she doesn’t want to look at it! Considering this would be your way of making a living and the fact that your husband does so much for her, she is being very mean spirited. You and your husband sound like very nice people; please don’t let folks like this neighbour of yours stop you from being who you are and remember, even if people don’t give back I would rather be the kind one who is above pettiness and is always willing to help; you will have much better Karma that way and a happier spirit. Ignore the mean woman and do what you need to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Sep 10
You are right paula, always be the bigger person as my mom always told me. She has since told me that I could put the sign up front but like I mentioned in other posts I just don't think that I am going to bother putting it up there now. I am not sure what it is but she kind of killed the thrill for me now...I guess deep down I am thinking that she still doesnt want it there but changed her mind for the wrong reason and that would be so my husband will continue to do her yardwork..thanks for the kinds words and the response!!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164506)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Aug 10
hi froggieslover yes she is really the pits, as the other lady said yes I wo uld have gone ahead and put u p the sign then when the younger woman 'complains tell her that if you have to take the sign down you will also have to discontinue mowing her laen and keeping her sidewalk clear. If she wants that continued she will have to leave the sign there. hope you can workit ou t with her. lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 10
LOL....i like the way you think Hatley...I know that I could do that but I don't want any problems with any of the neighbors, this is actually why I asked for both of their permission in the first place....thanks for your response Hatley!!
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
19 Aug 10
People can be sooo tacky & she sure is being tacky. I have never understood why people act like this. If it's on city property i would probably put it up anyway. I know u want ever feel the same way aboput her acting like this, I wouldn't either. Good luck w/your new buisness.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Aug 10
Thanks Antique for the good lucks...I know that I could go ahead and put it on the city property, I could of put it out there without asking either neighbor but I asked anyway out of respect of them. I won't worry about it I willjust stick it in the back of the house near the alley but we won't be shoveling her sidewalk as much this winter that is for sure...mean or not that is how I feel! Thanks for your response!!
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Hi, froggieslover. I read your discussion and I must say that, this is 40 year old woman is crazy! She could at least let you put the sign up. You know what I would do.. I would get something written and signed with the city allowing me to put the sign up anyway. Since the sign would be underneath their jurisdiction anyway. I would show this to her and I would place my sign up anyway. There is nothing that she can do about it. You are not breaking the rules at all. All the help that your husband has done for her, she could at least do this one big favor for you. How can she be so tired of staring at one simple sign that is not in her yard anyway? She is one pathetic woman that is very heartless. All she wants is someone to do for her, but she won't do anything for them. She is a mean toad!
1 person likes this