People get mad at me for telling my daughter to stay away from certian people

United States
August 19, 2010 8:17pm CST
My daughters frend was just here. Her father and I are good friends and he is on his way here. So, he called me to say the girls are going to a party. I go ask my daughter how she can tell someone she is going to a party without asking me. She said she was not going to a party. That her friend lied to her father so she could stay out late. I told her father what she was planning. I told my daughter this is why I want you away from people like this. She said mommie you act like I was going to lie to you. I said no you were going to let her lie to her fatehr so she could hang out late. When any thing could happen out there and we thing you two are at a party. I tell you kids can be so sneaky when they want to be. I can't wait till I get the hello away from these no good people.
5 people like this
10 responses
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
20 Aug 10
I don't blame you for telling your daughter what you have told her. It would not be right for her to lie to her friend's father. This is exactly how things fall flat onto the ground. Once the lies are brought into the clearing, your daughter will be held responsible for covering for her friend. This will be more trouble for her. And more headache for you. What if something was to happen to your daughter's friend while she stayed out late? Now, the heat would fall all on your daughter. See, you are being a great parent by instilling values and morals within your daughter. Lying and covering for someone will never always work out for no ones benefit.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Aug 10
I wish my daughter would understand this as well. I need her to see things my way. I am glad she chose to be honset being she has no reason to lie.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
20 Aug 10
I am so glad too! I don't want to see your daughter in any trouble at all. And I don't want to see you stressed out about this either.
• United States
20 Aug 10
No I am not stressing this time. We are sitting right here talking and all is well. Thanks so much for caring.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
20 Aug 10
You did good gifts, and you are right, whether your daughter was going to lie or not, if her friend was going to, she needs to know not that she should stay away, but maybe bring her friend to a level of "I'll not hang around you if you are going to lie" People who do bad things respect, (It doesn't really show though, so you may want to warn your daughter), those who stand up for what is right.. Also, I suggest you explain to your daughter that though you trust her, you don't trust her friend. (after all she was going to lie to her dad, she'd lie to you and your daughter in a heartbeat) Tell her that since her friend is not trustworthy, that anything she does with this girl, you will double if not triple check the details. And explain again, it is her, but her friend you don't trust.
• United States
20 Aug 10
Great point Carmelanirel! I would do the same thing. And Gifts be grateful that your daughter told you the truth. There are times when I wonder if my husband and I are doing a good job raising our kids. When you here that one of your kids tells you the truth and has respect for you, you know you are doing a great job. There are always going to be people in your children's life that try to stray them into doing the wrong thing. At least your daughter did the right thing by telling you.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
20 Aug 10
if i am in your place, guess what?i will do the same thing like you!they are unconciously teaching others' kids to do the same thing.don't worry!you just did the right thing!
• United States
20 Aug 10
I am happy to read this thanks
• Philippines
20 Aug 10
I think that is understandable. Parents knows what's best for their sons and daughters. Even though sometimes they are misunderstood, I still believe they have rights on them. I don't like making my parents worried. If I really wanted to stay with my friends that long, I'll just tell them or sent them messages. I hate making them worried. I do lie sometimes. Can't help it, I'm not a perfect daughter either. But I make sure I won't get them killed for worrying too much. I suggest that you talk to your daughter. Tell her the things that you don't like. Making her stay away from her friends won't be of so much help. Make boundaries, there will always be limits for everything. I was told before by my mom that I don't need friends. And I think about it several times. Every kid needs a friend. People are not perfect. And parents can't change that. She will understand if you explain. Don't keep her away from people. Because from those "friends" they learn how to be a strong person, they will know what is right from what is wrong. Just don't let go of your daughter's hand. Lead her to the right path. Guide her.
• United States
20 Aug 10
We had a good talk about it last night. I am sure she fully understands me. The girls father is ready to send her back to the group home. She is not listening and he will not stand for it. He does not want to hit her anymore.
@sinaj292 (602)
• India
20 Aug 10
I think you no need to hear the voice of others... you do what you think is good to you.... don't mind what the others should thing about you....
• United States
20 Aug 10
Thanks very much.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Aug 10
hi giftsandbagscom well that is tough nougies for t hose people who get mad at you. You know what is going on and they do not.YOU love your daughter dearly and do not want bad things to happen to her, and thats a mom's right to do that. I would probably do the same thing if I were in your shoes. Sometimes teens just cannot understand why adults worry and want them to stay away from certain people. telling lies like that is really awful as like you said anything could happen when they are not where they said they would be.also teens think they'are invincible and nothing can hurt them., so wrong so very wrong.
• United States
20 Aug 10
The bad part is the neighborhood we live in people are always getting killed. We are always on the news here In this raggedy town.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
22 Aug 10
As a parent I think that there is nothing wrong at all with telling your child to stay away from certain people. I know that my daughter has a lot of friends and there are some of them that do things that I don't really approve of and I tell her that it is in her best interest to not spend so much time with some of them. I actually think that keeping tabs on your children and the individuals that they spend time with is a very important part of being a mother.
@franne32 (695)
• Philippines
20 Aug 10
Well, there's a certain point in a kid's life that they tend to go the more you restrain them but of course it's also the influence of peers that make this a worse habit as time goes by if left unattended. I think it's best to have a one-on-one talk with your daughter, or rather a heart-to-heart talk, and since you're her mother she should take the time and listen to you. When they grow up, they'll think back and say to themselves, "Oh no, my daughter is becoming like me. Mom sure was right." It's great to have a mother like you who loves her daughter so much. She should cherish you more.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
20 Aug 10
She's only a kid anyway and I guess that's the parents' role, to guide their kids and to help them not make mistakes. You got a oint in not letting your child go out with people like that but of course, its still up to your child. Just continue guiding her in the decisions that she has to make and whom she should be friendly with.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
20 Aug 10
Hi Gifts, As the parent, you get to set the rules so it doesn't matter if your daughter likes it or not. It is great that she told you the truth right off as soon as you asked and also that she was not planning to go to the party herself. Still, covering for her friend...well I'm sure she didn't want to be the rat but still...as you said, anything could of happened and here everyone thought they were together.