Why is it hard now?

United States
August 23, 2010 6:58pm CST
I have a friend that I was really close with when I was a teenager. I moved really far away and we didn't really keep in touch. I'm not really sure why. I guess because our lives were so busy, him with his job and my with my hubby and kids. Anyways, we just re-connected through facebook recently and we talked on the phone today for over an hour. We had a really good conversation and I am missing talking with him now. I don't mean I miss him like a relationship (It's not like that), I love my husband. I just miss our friendship. How did I go all of those years without thinking about getting in touch with him? But now after I have talked with him I miss talking with him? Why is that? Any thoughts?
2 people like this
9 responses
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
24 Aug 10
my one friend who grew up down the street from me, well we found each other on facebook too. come to find out she worked in the same place i live, and found she was living one county down for us. but then moved back to our town and now live like 5 min away. its cool as hell we talk two to ok more then that a day. best she is a female and she and my wife gets along great and we all hang out. she been through some rought times in her life, but told her this is different because she got me and my wife. and now we are there for each other to vent if we are having a bad day.. and they say facebook and myspace isnt good. they are great..
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) Wow, that's awesome. That really worked out well for all of you! That's good. I think facebook is good for adults, it's when children get on there that it isn't so good, at least in my opinion.
• United States
25 Aug 10
the trouble is most parents think myspace and facebook should babysit their kids, and watch them. my daughter was younger i told her i will have all her passwords to check when i want too, and if she is doing something or have something i dont know about yeah kiss the computer good bye
• United States
25 Aug 10
sent you a message you got it ? see if i can help you out..
• United States
24 Aug 10
I completely undersand this feeling and perhaps because for me difficult times have been upon me so hard that I have wondered about my supposed close friends, whereas I do not believe they even remember that I am still alive (whole other story though) I guess what I am trying to say this person obviously was a really great friend, one you have not had this type of friendship with in a very long time, so perhaps rekindling all the wonderful memories allows for great conversation, as you are looking forward to continuing the friendship here forth. Good luck to you as I find great friendships are hard to find these days.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) Yeah, he is a really good friend. He said he was looking for me for a while and couldn't find me because my last name changed from when he knew me. I'm sorry about your "friends". I know the feeling, I have 2 real friends and their both guys. They are the only ones that keep in touch with me and care about me. They don't only call when they want something from me. It's nice to have them. I do not have any female friends at all. I feel like most women are either gossipers, drama queens, or selfish. Their out for themselves and I am not like that.
• United States
25 Aug 10
My daughter hates when I say this but sometimes guys make really great girl friends.. I say this because some of them really care about us not how we look, an not how we dress.
@minx267 (14580)
• Hartford, Connecticut
25 Aug 10
I think it's like a euphoria thing.. almost like an adrenalin rush.. that you get addicted to. I have had similar experiences.. I actually have been out of touch with someone that I used to talk to all the time and then we just stopped. I was think for months actually that I should call him.. I think you have inspired me. I have a roommate who I have been friends with for 23 years. We dated only for the first 6 months we knew each other.. but continued to live together for the next 7 years -then went our separate ways... he's a bit of a loner So I knew it was going to be me to keep at the friendship. So I called periodically and drove about 2 hours to visit with him. We always have great conversations, Sometimes about nothing sometimes about deep stuff. Well, One day I get a call from his ex- as the are splitting up and selling the house and she wants to know if he and his dog can rent a room from me. LOL. Not one to ever make his own calls. LOL I said sure and now he's been here for about another 6 years.. :-) Somedays we barely say a word and other days we have some really great conversations. But either way it's always nice to have a friend around that you can just shoot the breeze with.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) It was really nice to talk about old memories and to hear from an old friend again. I'm glad I inspired you =) That's awesome that you have such a good friend too. Yeah, my friend lives 12 hours away but I know he's only a phone call away and he would be there if I needed anything.
• United States
24 Aug 10
Its always nice to hear from an old friend. Does a person good. Maybe a part of you wanted to re connect to your childhood. I may be totally off. Just a guess. Hopefully you get to talk to him again. Best of luck for you two keeping in touch.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) Yeah, it was nice talking about old times and everything. Thanks, we will keep in touch more now. In fact, he said I let you not keep in touch with me once and I'm not going to let it happen again. LOL
• Portugal
24 Aug 10
There is nothing wrong with getting in touch with a friend that you have lost contact with. You may find though that over time the friend may have changed and you may find that you have your differences. I personally feel that if you have lost contact with a friend, however long it is, it is better not to get back in touch with that person as there is generally a good reason for not keeping in contact in the first place. Our lives can change in many ways over a period of time as we become older and as we find new friendships.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) The only reason we lost touch is because I got busy with getting married and having children. Nothing happened for us not to talk anymore. I think it's great that we have gotten back in touch. He was always a great friend to me. Of course we have some differences but doesn't everyone? I don't have everything in common with everyone I hang out with, do you? Thanks for your opinion =)
@zaugis (81)
• Lithuania
24 Aug 10
Hi, Yes, we guys want to like a sweet girl. Enjoyable stay in a non-obtrusive and very cautious etc.... Play niceee ee e - Alfonso may only make an hour or more conversations. Even look at the you photo and all men your a wishes. You for Alfonso tells goodbye, if you do not want to disturb your sense of life. If you're married, it - A normal man, even love you still and respectful look at you from afar. This is not even aware you. Siranus de Berzerak book read it and learn a lot. With your husband, Man as a book only to turn over. In other words, request and change your life. Make a romantic, what you want only - as you both want.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) Yeah, it's just nice to have a friend from old times. I love my husband and my kids though.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
24 Aug 10
Hi, It is pretty common for you to miss your close friend after losing contact for so long. But do remember that you have a family now and don't go over the boundary. If your feeling is truly of friendship,then it is fine. Better to control your feeling and you guys still can keep in touch with each other. Talking on phone or chatting through Msn is fine,but you still need to spent time for your husband and kids.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) No, we never had a thing even back then. He isn't my type at all. I love my husband and my kids to much to let anything like that happen. Yes, it is truly friendship. He is always cheering me up and making me laugh. It was just nice having an old friend to talk to =) Yeah, we live 12 hours away so we just talk on the phone or through facebook.
@ptower76 (1618)
• United States
24 Aug 10
Hi lilangel, Interesting situation. I believe we often long for the good times and people of the past. It makes us think of times when we did not have the responsibilities and worries we have now. It is nice to keep in touch with old friends, old boy/girlfriends, and just about anyone from the past. But of course these are old memories that are just that. Old memories. When you consider all, you know where your priorities lay. Meantime, don't read anything into missing old friends, it is part of our temperament but needs to be controlled, the tendency we all have to experience melancholy. Once in awhile it does the spirit good. But it can stab us in the back if we're not careful and let it get out of control. Continue talking to your old friend, nothing wrong with that. Just don't let it affect what you have now.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Thanks for your response =) Yeah, it was nice talking about all of the friends we used to hang out with together and everything. He and I were never a thing even back then, he isn't my type at all. He just makes me smile because he makes me laugh and he compliments me which I don't hear from my own husband so I guess it felt good. I love my husband and I am not going to do anything crazy. My marriage and family is my priority first.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
27 Aug 10
It is nice to talk to somebody in the past. Specially if they were special back then. You try to remember what made them special, and you try to associate that with your own feelings of youth and being care-free. And then you think why haven't you stayed that way. And then you rationalize it as 'missing' talking to those people over a long time. I guess this is my own rationalization for it.