I want to be selfish...

@p3ks626 (6550)
Philippines
August 24, 2010 6:06am CST
People always say that one of the things that we can do to make a relationship work is to become selfless. But I feel like I dont want to do it anymore. Has it ever occurred to you that you dont want to give anymore cause anyway there's no point in doing so cause there's nothing in it for you. I also dont want to talk about it anymore cause we have talked about it many times already and I just feel like there's no use in saying your feelings anymore. Sometimes your partner will say he will do this but you still end up frustrated. Have you ever felt like this? What was your situation? How did you deal with it?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@farazkh1 (1157)
• Pakistan
24 Aug 10
You need's to get married,relationship kind of immoral relation doesn't work's but in marriage we testifies to GOD that we are one and will take care for each other,will be honest to each other.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
I am married! That's why that's one of the reasons why I am feeling frustrated cause we have forgotten about the covenants we made with God when we got married. Pride is so strong I can feel it. I am losing hope already and I feel like I dont want to do it anymore.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
25 Aug 10
@ farazkk1: It doesn't mean that if you are married things will follow smoothly. Sometimes it's better to have a bf and gf relationship than marriage because they still fear losing their partner. This means much care and affection are shown by males. @p3ks626: You said you are married. And you also promise to God that you'll do your part as a wife. Though I understand how you feel but don't allow yourself from not doing things for your marriage. You may take a rest for awhile but don't stop . Let love make a fire within your tired heart.
@hotpink89 (134)
• United States
24 Aug 10
i just did a discussion about the same thing, i feel the same way, and its because its like i dont even know what feelings are and love, been hurt to many times to start wanting to open up once again and try to love again it seems so hard to do i feel so hopeless
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
I guess I am not the only one feeling a little bit hopeless this time. I really do my best as a partner. I forget about myself and do what my husband wants me to do but I just dont see the point in doing it anymore cause its not going anywhere. Its still the same things over and over and I am sick of it already.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
25 Aug 10
@ p3ks626: Don't feel hopeless my dear. Perseverance is what you must do. Don't dwell too much about that problem. Pamper yourself so that you can divert your mind thinking of those pains in marriage life. We, wives, are designed becoming patient in the relationship though I dislike to think of but it is reality.
• India
24 Aug 10
I’ve felt like this plenty of times…I feel like this at least once every week! However, being selfish and non-compromising would only worsen the situation which would force me to take some drastic steps which I feel isn’t worth it. I know I’m compromising a lot but its only coz I know that if I don’t, the incidents I’d have to go thru, wont be worth all the trouble. I guess there’s a deep understanding somewhere in our relation and so no matter how frustrated I become, I cant really put myself before my husband. I think most relations go thru such phases…the relation works as long as that understanding is there.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
I also feel the same way. But it makes me feel frustrated that my husband doesnt seem to understand that fact. I hate it when its like this. Sometimes I wish that one day I was him and he was me so we'd better understand each other. Anyway, in this point in time right now, I am being selfish. I just wanted to let my husband feel how it makes me feel when he is doing these things to me.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
25 Aug 10
@ sudip and p3ks626: Compromising is really the least thing housewives do to avoid fight. Yet, we sometimes feel giving up because we are only human. We must feel some things from our partner even though we have it; care, appreciation, understanding, affection and caress. It's okay to be selfish sometimes because sometimes this will give them cue of the marriage status. Yes, it is a one of many phases that a relationship go thru but I hope this will only give more spice in the relationship and not the ending.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
27 Aug 10
It's unfortunate that you have to feel this way just to be 'heard' by your husband. I don't know much about your relationship, but I think you need a 'heart-to-heart' talk. There might be compromises that need to be made, but the boundaries have to be set. And this 'setting of boundaries' will only happen with an open dialogue. If you can do this, then you could be selfish within your boundaries.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
28 Aug 10
I also know its unfortunate. Just imagine me doing something he's doing just for him to listen to me and I dont know id he is going to listen. As I said he is too self centered. Its breaking my heart that he is.