Why are kids so selfish?

United States
August 25, 2010 3:08pm CST
I am taking my daughter shopping in a few days. I told her I will be buying her some clothes from sears and hollister. Then I tell her I will be buying her god sister clothes as well.. She gets so mad and was like no that is not fair she can get cheap clothes you can afford to buy me clothes now. So I had to remind her that her father is always giving us money. It would not be right of me not to pick his daughter up something when I take my daughter. She needs to stop it with this selfishness or I will stop him from giving her money. He gave me his last money yesterday to put towards my back rent. Plus today he is working on giving me the rest. I would not feel right knowing he can't get his daughter nothing new and I could. I don't do stuff like that. I am a giver in life and she knows this.
4 people like this
20 responses
@dorannmwin (36611)
• United States
27 Aug 10
I have no clue why it is that there are people that are so selfish in their lives. I know that my daughter is starting into a very selfish phase of her life. She thinks that the world needs to revolve around her and it is driving me insane. It might not have to do with money, but when I say something, I don't think that it is necessary for her to keep asking me the same thing over and over again trying to get me to break so that she will get her way.
• United States
27 Aug 10
This is what my daughter is doing right now. Begging me for money to go to the movies. LOL I know your pain.
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
25 Aug 10
Kids are selfish because they don't understand life as adults do , ,you should learn her that in life to get something you should give something in return ,, am not talking about Karma ,, but am talking as a general rule ,, you treat people as you wish them to treat you .. It is your own responsibility to make her understand that ,, take her with you to charity work , let her feel the greatness of helping others and giving . By the end , your children will learn what you teach them and what you make them used to ,, so be careful in that
• United States
27 Aug 10
When she served dinners in the soup kitchen she felt really good about it. Your right she needs more lessons on this. Thanks
@cream97 (29179)
• United States
25 Aug 10
When a child is a teenager, they are like this. They don't want their parents to help someone out in need too. It is sad, because your daughter should know by now that you love her. You are a giver and you love to help someone if you can. There is no need for your daughter to be selfish or jealous. I have seen you give her so many things. More than what some mothers are unable to do. Your daughter is very blessed to have a mother as you!
• United States
27 Aug 10
Thanks very much for the smile. I try to give her all her heart desires. But,I am ruining her doing this. So we have to stop and she can get what she deserves now. I will be buying her friend these shirts. Her other friend is getting a grand for school shopping. And this girl thinks this is not enough. Kids these days..
• United States
25 Aug 10
Yeah I've noticed that kids today are getting more greedier and it's frightening to look at, because supposeably the kids of today are our future. If they are our future then I'm afraid for our future. I think that sometimes it's because they are spoiled and like someone else said here the media has a lot to do with how kids act nowadays. I think that parents need to be stricter now and not fall for every little whim that these kids want to be a part of. Kids should learn that when their parents say "NO" they are serious and they mean it. And parents should mean it as well because there are times when my mother tells my brother that he can't use the computer and then a few hours later she lets him use it. I've taken control and have withheld the computer from him for more than a week now. Kids today think that just because they say "gimme gimme" that they will get it. It shouldn't be that way.
• United States
27 Aug 10
My daughter is one of these kids. She wants what ever I can't afford to give her.
• United States
25 Aug 10
You have such a caring heart and you are doing right. This will show your daughter that in life sometimes we must share a bit with others and the favors in life lessons get return. Great mom and great person you are. Hugs friend you are doing the right thing.
• United States
27 Aug 10
Thanks very much. I want her to do the same when she is older.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
25 Aug 10
Hi Gifts, Kids are like that. I know mine all were when they were teens. They looked at anything I did for anyone else as somehow taking away from them. I didn't do for others and let them go without that's for sure. If you are buying your daughter clothes in Hollister and Sears then I can see that you don't let your girl go without either. Stick to your convictions and let her get upset over it. In time, she will learn from your example. She really will. My daughters that are grown are now the most caring and generous people. My little 16 yr old is still a work in progress but she is getting there and so will your girl. You are showing her how to be and even if she doesn't like it right now, there will come a time when she will want to be looked at by others just the way you are being looked at....a good and decent person.
• United States
27 Aug 10
Thanks so much. I just want her to leave this selfish stage as soon as possible.
• Philippines
25 Aug 10
hi, have you tried taking the time to explain to her about sharing? spending some quality time with your kid/s makes a big difference.
• United States
25 Aug 10
I spend well over enough time with this selfish child. This is by far the farthest from what could be the problem. But,your right this could be a lot of peoples problem. Just not mine. Thanks
@Trace86 (5043)
• United States
25 Aug 10
Kids today are so greedy and all about what they can get. They think the world owes them whatever they want. What ever happened to having to earn things? I remember having to do chores and help around the house to earn extra money for when we went shopping. I think you are wonderful to be looking out for the other child too. Everyone deserves to have some new things to start the school year.
• United States
25 Aug 10
Oh your so right about this. I can't see how my daughter could be this way. She is very selfish and I won't stand for it.
• United States
25 Aug 10
The reason why most children are selfish is because their parents are selfish, or mommy and daddy give them everything, so they think that they are entitled to have everything. Also, the media can be blamed for this as well because look at all of the images on television telling children and parents to buy stuff. Children and parents are constantly being told that they have to have it all, and truth be told, no one has enough money to buy everything.
• United States
25 Aug 10
My daughter gets most of what she wants so I can relate to this for sure. I have to cut this out and slowly but surely I will. it is sad when she can be so openly selfish to someone whos father is so giving to her.
@cher913 (25902)
• Canada
25 Aug 10
i know what you mean. my teenaged daughter is the same way. she wants everything but doesnt want to help or anything.
• United States
25 Aug 10
My daughter was doing so bad with this. And now she is doing much better this being one reason why I decided she would get new clothes. I was so mad before I was going to just buy her books for school. This girls father just gave them both $25.00 to get their nails done and she can't find it in her heart to share with her. Sad I say.. I am buying her a few shirts regaurdless..
@ElicBxn (58155)
• United States
28 Aug 10
as infants, humans have to be selfish to survive, but because we have prolonged childhood, we have also prolonged that selfishness when children were taught to be responsible for younger siblings or cousins at a young age, and were in the fields or woodlands hunting or gathering by 8, and mothers or fathers at 14, then they had no time for all this selfishness, but do you really want that kind of life for your child? honestly, there has to be a place in between, but only you can teach your child it, good luck - now you see why I didn't want to be a parent...
@KateVonP (172)
• United States
26 Aug 10
I have to admit that I don't have any kids but A LOT of my friends have kids and I see this a lot in all of them. Kids don't appreciate what they have anymore. I would say it was their up bringing but I don't think that is always the case. Kids get a lot of how they act from their peers. Girls want to be popular it seems and want the nicest things they can get their hands on. They don't care who pays for it but for some reason they think they need a million different outfits from good brand names. When I was a kid I wasn't worried about the brands of my clothes, I just wanted to have something to wear to school. I probably would've wore the same thing multiple times if I needed to. I wasn't there to show off what I wear I was there to be with my friends. Your daughter needs to appreciate the things that you do for her and not take you for granted. If you want to help out her god sister than you are allowed and shouldn't have to deal with the complaining from her. She needs to learn that if you weren't around she wouldn't be getting all the things that she wants.
@aurorastorm (1136)
• United States
26 Aug 10
I hate this also. My son is not too selfish but he gets jealous and I don't like it. We went to an amusement park this past weekend that I had free tickets for. Then friends of his were going to one he does not even like but he kept saying to me, why don't I get to go. I was like you have got to be kidding me. I am a giver also, but most are not like us and it is hard to teach someone not to be so selfish.
@gdesjardin (1938)
• United States
26 Aug 10
I have 3 children, two of which are very caring and they don't mind sharing with their siblings. My middle child is more selfish, but only to a degree. When he sees something he wants, he wants it right away, whether it is an item of clothing, or a computer game, etc. However, if I tell him I can't get him a game because there is no money, he will back off. He won't whine about it. We are on a very tight budget these days with me not working. Even before when I was working, my children always knew that they had to work for the "extras". My hubby and I provide them with all the necessities in life and a bunch of extras to, but the kids have to realize that video games, and getting their nails done and all that other stuff is not stuff they get "just because", they have to earn it. I think that when you make your kids work for the extras they learn to appreciate them a lot more. And we get a lot of extra chores done around the house....lol
@SimpleBB (1333)
• Philippines
26 Aug 10
Well, mentioning the word "kid", still I'm not sure how old is she. But being a kid usually shows ill-manner as such. They are always want to have all the attention they could get. Probably, she used to be the only child for you, and considered this other girl as her competitor with your attention. Though I'm not sure but perhaps basically they are both girls. And yes, you should control her attitude of being such, for it may be a start of rivalry between them.
@hari1111 (238)
• New Zealand
26 Aug 10
I am no expert but you need to fix this soon other wise she might grow up like this. I think it would be good to take away what she thinks are good privs. Say if you think I am unfair then you don't get any of the fun stuff because you don't appreciate what I give you. I am sorry I can't give better advice, I am only 17 after all and don't know much about the world. Another way I can think about is just explaining to her that she can't always have things she wants because money is hard to come upon and etc. :) Best of luck with your daughter
@sru2n9 (94)
• India
26 Aug 10
I can understand.My sister wants to take dress whenever I do even if she has taken some dresses only recently.
• United States
26 Aug 10
I think it is great that you feel this way about the situation. It's great to see a parent who actually uses discipline in their mother/daughter relationship. However, just a little input from an outside look on the issue, she may just be acting that way out of jealousy or fear of losing her mother's affection. She may not actually be as bothered by the fact that you're using your money for someone else as much as the fact that it is for her father's other daughter. I had a friend once, one of the nicest girls you will ever meet, but when it came to her father's daughter from another marriage she was vicious. It wasn't the fact that her father was not spending his time with her, it was that he was spending his time with the other daughter. Sometimes kids feel threatened by this sort of split in a home. She may feel that by you thinking of this other girl while you are out shopping with her, you are neglecting time with her alone. Try taking them to a movie together and leaving. That will help them bond as sisters. In time your daughter will stop feeling like it is a competition and more like a family.
• Philippines
26 Aug 10
It's really difficult growing up having someone "shared/sharing" with the things that are supposed to be just for one. Don't give up on making her understand that sharing is a good thing. Talk to her without getting into an argument. Make her understand that the father of her god sister helped your family a lot and giving something back to her god sister is just a way of saying thanks. No favoritism is involved.
• Philippines
25 Aug 10
I guess it is how you teach them. I know of one, she has a daughter, in fact an only child but shares much to friends and other kids. At an early age of 5, she already knows the value of sharing because the mother instilled it to the mind of the child that it is important to share especially to kids that are not blessed with so much things in life. It is given that we want our own children to have the best things in life because that is the very reason why we work had but it is also the parents responsibility to teach their kids good values for children to grow up as loving, caring and responsible citizens of our country. After all, when they grow up it is also going to be the parents who will be credited for the actions of their children.