silent lovers...?

@SimpleBB (1332)
Philippines
August 28, 2010 7:58am CST
I know this girl who has been engaged with his boyfriend for so many years. Since college, until their working stage. The guy decided to work in a foreign country with a word of doing this for them to prepare for their future. The girl sincerely waited for the guy. The first time the guy came home, they still okey. They spend time together in going out, the usual dating like before. Nothing has changed. The guy left, and without a year, the girl heard from a relative of the guy that the guy will come home to get married, but not with her but with another woman. It was so painful for the this girl. She waited for a word from the guy but waited for nothing. The guy came home a month before the set wedding with another girl. The girl did not reacted when they met a month after the wedding, same with the guy did not mention anything about them. But both were able to keep their friendship. If you are one into this relationship, how would you react. What do you think is wrong in the relationship itself?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
30 Aug 10
It depends on how it was handled. If he was telling her the whole time that he was going to marry her, and then suddenly she finds out he's marrying someone else, then that's called lying, and lying is always wrong. In that case it was best she did not marry a liar. On the other hand, if they just fell out of contact, that's different. Relationships are always dynamic. They are never static. People are either growing closer, or farther apart. When you separate like that, and she's here, and he's over there, for an extended period of time... that simply doesn't work. It just doesn't. So he, being alone and separate from her, found someone else. That's why this whole, run off to another country, and earn some money, and come back idea, is really really stupid. You set yourself up for heart break. I met a guy from Kenya. He was mid-20s. He has a girl back in Africa, and they were planning to get married. She was so beautiful. I saw her picture. Lovely woman in every way. But he was here in the US. He asked me if getting a girl friend would be ok. I said, of course not! You are planning to marry when you go back! Yet he said "I am so lonely. I have no one to talk to. Nothing to do. No friends. No family. I need someone to be with". And you know what? He's right. He does. BAD PLAN!! Future wife is on the other side of the planet, and lonely young man with nothing to do, is here in the US. NO! BAD PLAN! Stupid plan! I don't know what he did. I left that job. So I have no idea if he remind with his girl in Africa, or found a girl here in the US. But you people really need to stop that stupid stuff. If you are going to go to another country, you need to marry first, and go there together, instead of messing up all your relationships. I don't know why you screw up all your marriages, for the sake of getting a few dollars.
@priyayogi (222)
• India
29 Aug 10
hi, the silent lovers are they taliking with eyes and actions only.they r planning their life future is very well.they lead their life is very well and good.they know their status howlong they should give their work and their sinceriarity as all are good.
@sjhaeki (798)
• Philippines
29 Aug 10
did they have any communication while they were away from each other? if there wasn't then that could've been the main problem. still, it must be a really shocking, sad news for the girl since she waited patiently for the guy. i don't know how they were able to keep their friendship if they weren't able to really make a closure with it. if it were me, i would probably be hitting him the moment i see his face and demand an explanation or explanation first then hit it depending on his answer.
• United States
28 Aug 10
I wouldent waste my time being in love because the other person could no longer desire you or they could die and you would have grief and have to find someone else to love. Note to world "only trust to the point that you can walk away and still be happy."
• Portugal
28 Aug 10
i wouldnt continue his friend. the girl really loved him and he asked her to wait for him and she waited and he would marry other girl. so it means he been cheating on her since how long? maybe before he travels he had that girl already and went other country to save enough to marry her. so many doubts about what that guy did. the girl should had ask him why he did that. what is wrong is that he wasnt honest with her also the distance but distance is not that big deal nowadays anymore the lack of honesty broke this relation. i dont know how the girl could still be his friend :(
@jailo12 (332)
• Philippines
28 Aug 10
this is crazy, how can that girl be friendly to that guy after what he has done to her ..that guy is a fool, and i think a user at the same time ..he didnt even say anything to the girl ..shame on him ..
@Shinobu (44)
• Singapore
28 Aug 10
That is a sad story story. Whatever the guy's story is why he married the other girl he needs to explain to the girl!! the girl trusted and waited for him. He should have the decency to explain and end the relationship. As for me I would really demand an explanation.
• United Arab Emirates
28 Aug 10
Thats a sad story. I suppose the guy just wanted to while away his time with the girl. he had no intentions to marry her. He just wanted to use her. And now also if the girl is still loving him...she is makeing a mistake of her life because in future there are chances that the guy will use her when he wants.
@vhings_88 (294)
• Philippines
28 Aug 10
Its really sad it ended up like that but if I were the girl, I would really confront the guy since he owes her an explanation. Long distance relationship is really not easy but we need to clear everything so that no more pain or guilt.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
28 Aug 10
Hi, SimpleBB. I would be utterly disappointed! I would not resume a relationship with him after wards at all. I will be hurt and upset about him marrying another woman that I knew nothing about. If he was engaged to me all of these years, then I would expect for him to be this way with me too. For me to find out from someone else that he married another girl, I would be highly pissed off! It is a shame that this guy held her onto a string for so long.
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
28 Aug 10
Hi Simple BB, Well, first of all I am honestly surprised that here the girl had to face the brunt. Normally, it is the guy who keeps waiting and the girl finds an excuse to break-off! Many would surely disagree, but it is a mere observation that I made. As for your post here dear friend, it is not "love" from the guy. He has cheated on her. To fiddle with trust and to toy with somebody's emotion is the worst possible way to hurt an individual. It is awful when people do such things to others. An aching heart is neither silent nor loving anymore.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
28 Aug 10
If that happened to me, I will talk to the guy or contact him to ask him what went wrong and why did he do that? I will ask him not to convince him not to marry the girl, but for my peace of mind. It will be hard for me to be friends with someone whom I have an unsettled break up. Whatever his reason for wanting to marry another girl, I will accept. But I think I deserve an explanation for that esp if when he left, we are still okay...