Rome wasn't built in a day...

August 28, 2010 6:08pm CST
I have had a recent problem with a) my kids trashing their room every night and b) not sleeping til the early hours. I have established a "lights out at 9pm" routine. Today I tidied their room for 5 HOURS til it was immaculate. It was THAT bad. At bedtime, they messed it up again. It made me want to cry. Instead of screaming at them, I went up every half hour, telling them which set of toys to tidy next, and between 9pm and 11.30pm, we eventually got the room back to the state I had achieved earlier. I told them they'd done well, and we discussed how if they didn't get everything out at once, it wouldn't take so long or be so much work. I rewarded them by putting the brand new duvet sets I bought on the beds. My partner says I am still being too lenient with them. They are 5 and 3. I know they shouldn't be up so late and the mess shouldn't have got so bad to start with, but they have got away with worse for a long time. I do all the discipline myself as his solution is simply to yell at them and make them cry, which achieves nothing. I feel we got somewhere tonight. They are learning to clean up after themselves, and also that their actions have consequences (eg today after dinner, they wouldn't tidy up, so didn't get ice cream) I am happy with our progress. My partner, however, feels an immediate, overnight change in their behaviour should happen. How can I make him understand that it won't happen just like that?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@jugsjugs (13045)
29 Aug 10
I have 6 children and i will tell you that it is a night mare in our house when it comes to bedtime.My children,well four of them are awful and will not stay in their rooms at bedtime and do not go to sleep until well after midnight.As for their bed rooms they are forever writing off their rooms.My children are 13,11,8 and 7 they are the boys that are always playing up at bedtime.I find that if you keep cleaning their rooms they will always expect you to do it.My youngest son is getting sleep therpy in a few weeks,as he has adhd and that also stops him from being tired.It is hard work,no time to yourself to relax.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
10 Sep 10
I think that the fact that they are taking steps in the right direction is quite commendible. I mean they are only small still and just now getting to the age where they are able to have some sort of responsibility. If you keep reminding them time and time again that they need to pick up their toys or do whatever else it is that they need to do, it will eventually be inground into them and they will start to do those things without you having to remind them.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
29 Aug 10
Rome wasn't built in a day, because it was a work in progress (much like raising Children. I helped to raise 4 Good boys. I say they were good, meaning that they were good Most of the time. My wife and I didn't wait till they were 5 and 3 to begin their training in tidiness. They were taught tidiness from an early age, as my wife is a very orderly person who cannot stand clutter. It didn't come naturally to the boys, but they were kept at it till it became like second nature to them. Tidiness is like Godliness, so they say!