am i silly?

@hushi22 (4940)
August 29, 2010 4:44pm CST
i think i am starting to worry about my relationship with my bf because i am not really that tight to him. I give him the freedom he wants as long as he respects our relationship and me as his gf. But he wants to practice PUA and might meet a lot more better girls and kiss them or so. He said he also wants to know if we are really meant for each other and how strong is his love for me which added to the reasons he had to practice PUA. Now, I am watching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OeQZ9F4jYM&feature=related and just noticed tears falling from my eyes. I think i really worry so much but I am just trying to hold it. I told him these things and discussed about it, but I dont wanna hinder his freedom in our early 20s. I hope I am not wrong for doing this.
2 people like this
13 responses
• Portugal
30 Aug 10
as a friend i'd ask you would he accept it if you were doing it to him ? the answer is almost certain no. then why he do it to you ? he got no right to kiss other girls if he already got a girlfriend period, if he dont respect you as a womem why bother with it ? find another boyfriend that will respect you and care about your feelings. tell him that you are not ok with it and if he insist to do it well its up to you to broke up with him or not. but i'd say broke up and move on !
@hushi22 (4940)
30 Aug 10
i asked him that question and he somehow said NO. i just told him i give my cards and it's up to him. our relationship is really good but i worry in the future when goes back to england and i go back to cebu.
• Portugal
30 Aug 10
ya i know what you mean long distance relationships never work i know it by personal experience. i got a girlfriend that lives in another city and we meet each other like once every month at start it was good but it eventually falled apart with the time if you know what i mean because when she needs me i'm never there when i need her she's never here etc... its complicated. but well its life my friend :)
• United States
29 Aug 10
If I am understanding PUA correctly is it not pick up artist lingo? If this is what you do not want in a relationship then he is not respecting you as a girl friend. You said it yourself that you are not that tight with him so it should not matter. Perhaps you just say this as you do not feel the true closeness that a relationship should feel at any age. Maybe you should express your feelings to your boyfriend and if he still insists on "PUA" then maybe you both are just not meant to be. I know I could not accept this from any boyfriend of mine, but I do understand that there are people who do. Good luck with this.
@hushi22 (4940)
30 Aug 10
yes, that is PUA. we already talked about it. it's fine for now but I worry in the future. but i do not want to hinder him from exploring because we are both young.
• United States
30 Aug 10
Sounds like the both of you have a very close relationship as I do not know many open minded to really discuss things like this. So thumbs up, and hey what you feel right for you does not necessarily mean you have to pleas all opinions!
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
In a relationship, communication is always important. you need to talk and understand the things the doesn't work out. Here's what I can suggest, take it from a man's point of view. If you really love him, there are things that you need to do in order to win him. First, you need to check out what are his likes and begin to like it as well. Guys appreciate support, if he likes sports then join him, play with him. If he likes music, then sing a long with him. Guys want a partner whom he can share his time with. Secondly, befriend him, make him your bestfriend by sharing your thoughts, making him share his thoughts as well. Share one another's burden and make him feel that you are always there when he needed you. Third, RAP, this doesn't mean that you'll rap for him but this is an acronym for Recognize, Appreciate, Praise. Men need appreciation ALWAYS. They love it when you compliment them. A little words of praise can bring stars in their eyes and tingling in their ears. Practice it and he'll stick around. These are the things I can give so far, if you want more... feel free to ask.
@hushi22 (4940)
30 Aug 10
i did all that. we also discussed it and that's his decision. i told him my feelings and because i love him i supported him in the end as long as he knows what he's doing and he knows when to stop.
@youless (94792)
• Guangzhou, China
30 Aug 10
Unfortunately I don't understand what PUA is. Is it related to the acting in something like the movie? No matter what, you are not silly. On the contrary, you are a very understanding girl. Your boyfriend just doesn't know to cherish it and perhaps he even doesn't realize how lucky he is to find you. I can understand your worries. If I were you, I would be mad if I see my husband meet and kiss others. This is not something I can stand. If your boyfriend is not serious to your relationship, perhaps it is time for you to give him up. I know it is hard, but at least it is better to happen after marriage and without kids. I love China
• India
5 Sep 10
• China
30 Aug 10
First of all , i am sorry to your worry . From your saying , i know you do not want to give up him ,give up your love . But love is not just as simple as you think . Love is good but not perfect . Love has good time , but also has bad conditions . Love can be built , alse can be broken . And love is for two people , you can not just control it by yourself . I think what you should give up is just your worry . Lossing a love does not matter , you can built another one . Lossing a boyfried also does not matter , you can find another one . But if you loss yourself , you can get nothing in the future .
@hushi22 (4940)
30 Aug 10
thank you my friend. i will make sure i won't lose myself. =)
@rameshchow (5283)
• India
5 Sep 10
Ofcourse it is animation, but it mirrors our imagination, our real feelings, sometimes my heart will fly in dreams like in that video.....
@sami00 (891)
• India
30 Aug 10
hi, You need to explain your feeling to him,Its not fair kissing other girls.I understood how much pain you have.Really all girls got pain when seeing like this actions.If girls try like this ,is they accept it? never,they can't accept it.In the name of freedom,i think he takes too much freedom.Its not really fair to you,its hurt you.May be you think its his freedom,but same time it hurting you.Try to tell him your feelings,otherwise its very painful to you.
• India
30 Aug 10
boy friend: boy friends are done everything for you but i didn't mistake girl friends their are follow all places with us so only
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
30 Aug 10
A couple's relationship is pretty complicated to defined and to predict what one's emotion toward another. You done the right thing to give him the choice to compare you to other girls. Whether he will love you or not, it always his choice. Hopefully you both have a happy ending.
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
....there is nothing wrong in showing or letting him know how you feel towards your relationship and towards him...if you are destined with each other than you will be together with him until the rest of your life...all you have to do is to trust him...if he failed your trust then that only means he don't worth you...
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
You are not being silly I actually understand how you feel completely. In every relationship even do some are perfect there's always some doubt if things will actually turn in to happy endings. We can't just predict things to happen accordingly because life is a bit of mysterious and some mistakes can happen along the way. About your boyfriend he is very lucky to have you as his girlfriend. But if ask something from you that you think you can't give yet. He must be understanding and just don't persist. If he really loves you he wont cause you any pain.
@se7enthbird (8327)
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
communicating is the best way to solve this feeling that you have right now. you need to tell him how you feel. the situation now is different than before. just be honest on how you feel regarding him and he might be meeting some better girls as you said, though i think that is silly for you to think of. if he is honest enough towards you then he might not do that when he is away. i had this feeling towards my wife before. she was my gf back then. she will be working at Japan and i am also paranoid that she will be meeting good looking and more worth person for her. but the worry was not worth it. we talked at the phone for hours during her free time and she even went there to work twice. now we are married for almost 9 years. so communication is the best. you tell him what you feel and hope he will be sensitive enough to take care of you. not just respect you but to love you the same way that you love him. goodluck.
• Portugal
29 Aug 10
yes i also dont know what is pua. you mean like swing? you kiss a guy and he kisses other girls or he can have other girls but you cant have other boys? anyway i dont think you should accept this. you should say to him that if he has doubts if you are right girl for him or not you break up for now. is better for you to break up and he can be with other girls and see if he misses you or not. that way he will see if he really loves u or not bcs what he asked you seems to me that he is not sure about how much he loves you. i dont think you should accept this bcs you will be the one that will get hurt in the end. please dont accept this just to keep being with him. if he loves you and respects you he should had asked you time to be single and be with other girls instead of being with you and other girls at same time. that way he is not acting good to you. if i was you i wouldnt accept this. i am sorry for your situation but dont accept what he wants if you feel it will hurt you what i know is what is happening now :(