A promise that my father told me. I wonder if he will carry this promise out.

@cream97 (29166)
United States
August 30, 2010 10:57pm CST
My father kept on telling me that when he gets his disability benefits that he was going to make sure that he gives me some. Well, he has already received it already. (In a lump sum too). Now, he has two extra cars that he bought from the money. I am his oldest daughter and he has promised me that he is going to give me some money when he gets it. He never told me how much that it will be. I remember telling him that he is just saying that, and, that when he does get his disability benefits he will not give me any at all. He claims that he will, no matter what. I have not spoken to him about what he has promised me, but I plan to, I just don't know when. I don't want to seem like a greedy daughter at all. I know that he has already probably given my stepbrothers some money too. And my stepmother. I would not be surprised if she has reduced the amount of time that she has spent working. Before my father received his benefits, she was the only person that was working that brought in any income into their household. She was even helping him, pay part of his Child Support payments to my stepsister and to her mom. I could not imagine myself telling my own children that I will assist them or give them something, and not own up to what I said to them. I think that it would be wrong of him, to never give me what he promised me. He says that he wants to give me money, because I have always respected him and I did not talk nasty to him. My youngest sisters never seemed to have as much love and respect for him as I have. Although, my father has done some cruel things to us and to our mom in the past, I still overlooked that and loved him for just being my father anyway. When it comes to my father, I just wonder if he is being totally honest with me. In the past, money got stolen from me. And in the end, the finger was pointed towards him. So how can I trust him, when he says that he will give me some money from his disability entitlement benefits?
2 people like this
15 responses
• United States
31 Aug 10
cream see this is what happens when people get money they immediatley forget all their prior promises. We Hispanics have a phrase we use all the time They fill their mouths before their eyes What this simply means in Spanish is that they utilize all forces and make all sort of promises but when they see the green they completely truly get filled with greed. Sometimes it is not intentional, it's they get so excited and overwhelmed that they forget what they said before. I sure hope he helps you out as we also live in a time that giving forward is the best possible reward. Good Luck I hope he comes through for you.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Aug 10
Well, for you I guess the vest thing to do in times like that is not to expect anything from him.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Aug 10
hi cream 97 perhaps he will but its hard for you to know from what you tell us about him. thats sad that he did some cruel thing to uou and your mom.I did respect my father, but he got no more love from me as he never explained when I told him, after I was married, that I forgave him for molesting me as an eight year old child. I just asked him why he felt he had to do that as it was an evil thing to do to a child. I did not tell him I loved him only that I respected him but only because he was nmy father. He refused to apologize or even to say what had prompted my hero to become my hated mistreater.
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
Wow! I am so sorry to hear that Hatley! Not only that your father did that to you, but also that he felt he didn't owe you an apology, and at least try and answer the many questions that you must have had.
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1737)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Well you are right people should not back out on promises that is wrong. However, I am wondering if perhaps he did not get as much money as he thought he was going to get, or that he ended up needing the money himself to take care of things perhaps some things happened where he needed to spend the money to take care of things. I think I would kind of mention it and see what he aays. You may find out there just was no extra money to give, but at least give him a chance to explain, but be nice about it of course.
@dodo19 (33590)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
31 Aug 10
I can understand how you feel. My father has said that he would do things and promised things that just never really seem to happen. It's not just one or two things. It's been so many countless times over the years. Reading your post reminds me of my dad. I guess that my advice to you is to maybe try not to expect much from him. As hard as it is, it might help you. It's somewhat helped me a little. I really do hope that your situation gets better.
1 person likes this
@aurorastorm (1136)
• United States
31 Aug 10
I so hope your father carries out his promise to you. It sounds like you not only could use the money, but even more importantly that you deserve the money. I don't understand people that make promises they never intend on keeping. I remember everything I say. If I promise something, even if it becomes difficult to do, I still carry out a promise. I know if I win the lottery ever, there is a few people on mylot that I promised to myself that I will help, and if I do get the chance I know it will be one of the first things I do with my extra money.
@pjdirect (15)
• Australia
31 Aug 10
Hi Cream , when it comes to a fathers promise i have had that promise and the promise can become a heart breaking situation,I am a son of 3 boys wth a rather well off father ,My 2 brothers are well looked after wile i stayed with my mother after a sepearation i was disowned by as i call him now (the sperm donor) I looked up to him for years and then one day i was not good enough, The main point to this response is never under esttimate the power of money and what it can do to others ,I have not spoken to my so called father in over 10 years now because of the way he treated me over his golden children ..so rather become a suck up to my father just to recive money i have lived my live as who i am ,i am not poor i have 3 kids that love me for who i am so with out brocken pronises i am the richest dad in the world
1 person likes this
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
31 Aug 10
When my dad makes me promises I always believe him cause there was never a time that he broke the promises he made to me. In your case, if you already have a history with your dad, I guess its okay not to trust but just hope for it.
1 person likes this
@jeikl_08 (97)
• Philippines
31 Aug 10
since your father said that i think you should believe in him, all you need to do is wait, theres a right time for everything maybe your father has a good plan on when he will give you what he promised!!
• India
31 Aug 10
I can understand your predicament…some extra money is always welcome though I understand exactly by what you mean when you say that you don’t want to come across as a greedy daughter! I too face similar problems sometimes…though I’m an only child but both my parents are very attached to their own siblings (my uncles and aunts and their kids) and these siblings always find out some excuses and land up at my parent’s door for money…while I don’t want to sound like mean here, but I mean, I’m sure that if ever my mom or dad refused the money, they would never come back…but mom and dad just cant refuse their own relations and give them money all the time…what gets my goat specially is when mom or dad promised to give my some money and like you, I just could not pester them and then one find day I hear that the money is gone just coz so and so came and asked for some help…I mean, I’m their own daughter, isn’t it? if they’ve promised to give me some cash, at least they should keep that in mind before giving that money away!!!
1 person likes this
@sharie16 (2213)
• Philippines
31 Aug 10
[b]Hi cream97, There are possibilities that maybe your father forgot what he have promised you, as you said he is the only one whose working to brought income for his second family, but then again, it is okay to ask him your part if he already gave to some of your half sister/brother. This is not being greedy I think, he promised it, so you have the right to ask, but then, you ask it in a nice way that it will not look like you are only after the money, if he told you that he don't have already enough money to gave you, then ask him if at least the portion of money that was suppose to be yours was being used by him and not your half sister/brother or your stepmom... So I advice you my friend, that you cannot get your rights if you don't have the voice to speak, so speak to your dad and ask it....Hoping you the best! happy mylotting! God bless![/b]
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
I really hope that he does keep his word and promise to you because I couldn't imagine being lied to especially by my own father. In the meantime though I would honestly just think of it with no expectation (hope for the best but expect the worst)so that way if he does follow through you will be happy he kept his word and promise, but if he doesn't then you won't be crushed. That is the best advice I can give! Good luck!
1 person likes this
@chona0912 (104)
10 Sep 10
hello cream , you sound greedy because you are hoping for money. even if your father had made a promise. remember its disability benefits, its his . do not aim for what is not yours . at this stage in your life , you are grown up, maybe its your time to pay back with your father .
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
10 Sep 10
I don't sound greedy at all. If I was so greedy, I would have been asked my father for some money since I found out about he had gotten his disability entitlement. So, from that I am no where in sounding like I am greedy. My father has not done so much for me and my sister. So if anything, he should be paying us both back for all of the promises that he has made to us both!
@AmbiePam (50090)
• United States
4 Sep 10
Knowing what I do about disability benefits, he may not have much to give. Believe me, the money doesn't go too far.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
5 Sep 10
Hi, AmbiePam. I doubt that seriously.. I don't mean to sound rude or anything. But my father has just purchased a Hummer and another top of the line car. Plus he was paid all of the back money that they have denied him from the years that he has applied for disability. He could have gotten back up to 8 or 9 years of back pay money.. Or more than that. He has been waiting on his benefits for a long time now. So, I know that he has some money to give me. I am sure of it.
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
31 Aug 10
if its his disability entitlement benefits then he really doesn't have to give you anything, but if he said he would give you some of the money it would be honest of him to do so. i would hope that issues with money would not cause you to not speak with your father.