How do you collect payments from your relatives' debt?

Philippines
September 4, 2010 1:36pm CST
Granting your relative's request for a borrowed money can be very helpful to them. It is good if you can helped them as much as you could. But a debt is a debt that needs to be given back to the owner even if they are your relatives, they still have the obligation to pay back in full the debt they have asked before. Sometimes, the feeling of guilt makes you uncomfortable to ask them when are they going to pay you. I am not good in collecting payments, is it okay to ask them through text when can they pay me?
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
4 Sep 10
Quite easily friend you confront them and say I am her to collect the money you once needed and now I need it back. Although let me express something I heard a very long time that when it comes to loaning money to relatives you have remember that problems will occur. So unless you have extra to give away then you better off just not loaning at all. As once you loan money to a relative this will cause havoc and problems as when it comes time to getting it back they will consider you family and not seriously consider giving it back. So anytime anyone in the family asks for money the best thing is to say I am giving you this as a gift but never come back and ask for any more.
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
Yes, you're right. I have relatives who owe me money for couple of years ago... Now that I am the one who is needing, I can't get back to them and ask for it.
@Iequate2 (280)
• United States
4 Sep 10
Hello kristeena, It is good not to loan more than you can afford to give away. My family rarely borrows, but in a few emergencies, I have loaned, and the loan was re-paid without me asking. I have an identical twin, so we always remain true, Meaning, if we borrow, we know that we will get it back. I do not loan to friends often, and never to men; Besides, nowadays they can go to one of those payday places. :) I would just ask the person that I loaned to, when can they pay back the loan back? There is nothing wrong with you asking or reminding.
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
Thanks. It's good to know that your family have the initiative to repay you for their loans which is just right.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
5 Sep 10
I would find out why they could not pay it and if that is a good excuse. For instance, if they go and buy a new car when the old car still works would not be a good excuse, but if the stove goes, then that would be a good excuse. The same, if they get plastic surgery done, bad excuse, but having their teeth fixed a good excuse because before they could not afford it. Texting seems rather juvenile and texting can be removed, so I would write them a letter and keep a copy of it after signing with your own name. If possible, have someone else see you do it. The point is you have to have evidence just in case you go to civil court. And it would be been best to get their promise to pay in writing.
• India
5 Sep 10
Just like when they approached you for help, you have every right to approach them for a refund. There is no question of sentiment in this because you would lose your hard-earned money. Please do not be shy in asking for what is rightfully yours. I feel you can directly approach since there can be no evasion then.
• United Arab Emirates
5 Sep 10
kristeena, this the problem with all of us will have. I have lended money to not only my relatives but also friends also. What i feel is they will be good to you till thE time you don`t ask them to return the money they owe you. In my view texting will not help you, you should talk to them face to face. There is no point of feeling shy its your money and you should ask them. Doing this you will see their reaction and will come to know if you ever gonna get that money of yours back or not, belive me i have done texting so many time and the result of that is they won`t meet me agin. :)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
Good luck. I hope you get paid. Actually it's their obligation to pay and you shouldn't be the one asking them but in most cases they just simply forget about paying. Just ask them straight and give a certain day when they should pay. Base on my experience, lol, it usually turns ugly. If a relative borrows money from you and you don't have any money to lend them, you will hear harsh words and even a fight might erupt. Also, if you lend them money and you asked for payment and sometimes they don't really have plans of paying you, you will also hear harsh words and fight most definitely starts. Now, I learned that if you want to lend money. Don't expect to get paid anymore. It's easier that way.
• United States
5 Sep 10
Some people think that just because you are blood that it is okay not to pay you back, that you should just be giving, but you have to stand your ground with these people, and tell them that you want your money or else you will never lend them money again and you will never speak to them again. You have to put your foot down or they are going to walk all over you.
• Indonesia
5 Sep 10
Lady Kristeena, Its important for you to keep in mind that Money and Friendship are totally different things. so when you are planning to loan your money to your friends you have to prepare that they wont return your money. but if that is what already happened, there are several way you can do: 1. Talk nicely and find out what your money have been used for and encourage him/her to make it worthy for returning your money 2. tell that if those money is your company money and you need it to be returned 3. if it doesnt work you need to tell his/her family to help him/her out. because there is big possibility it will happen again and get worst. Good luck..
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
4 Sep 10
I am not often in the situation where i am collecting money from a relative. Unfortuantely, i hsve been on the other end more often. When i do find myself on the receiving end, i don't like to pressure because they are family. they wouldn't need my help unless they were struggling. i just ask them to give what they can when they can. I like to be there to support my family not be a debt collector.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
4 Sep 10
it is okay. in truth, you are not the one who should feel the guilt. it is your right and you are not a bad person if you do that. besides, obligations need to be settled. some people find it hard to update the lender that they have been undergoing financial predicaments. perhaps it is because of shame but it is more shameful not to say anything.
@slothgurl (573)
• Enumclaw, Washington
4 Sep 10
Borrowing money to family is a hard one. I have been on both ends of this, borrower and lender. I have usually never lent out more than I can live without. Not that I don't expect to get it back, but family is always last on the repayment list whether you like it or not. You know what my Dad does? He will borrow money, but he likes to have a post dated check, and says make sure the money is there (the bank) because the check is going in no matter what!!
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
4 Sep 10
Hi kristeena, If, or when, I loan money to anyone, relative or friend, I don't just take their word of mouth that they will pay back the borrowed money, I insist that they sign a promissory note. I have seen too many of my friends and family members get "burned" by borrowers who never intended to repay their loans. Not wanting to fall victim to the would be scammers, I have to insist on a witnessed promissory note. If there is an objection, from the borrower to sign the note, then it becomes very clear that there was an intent to defraud me. No signed promissory note, no cash-in-hand.