Keeping Secrets

Philippines
September 8, 2010 6:30pm CST
It's a common thing that we share part of our lives with our friends. But , then there are certain limitations for it. Whenever a friend confided something personal on me, she can be assured that I can be trusted. But, then there are people who cannot keep secrets. I don't know why they're doing it. Are they doing it , because they don't like the person? or to humiliate the person? Me and my friends have shared some very personal information about our lives. Family issues and Financial problems. We are fond of using Facebook as a means of communication. Yet, there are people on the list of our friends which are not part of our group. I was surprise to know , that some of these people know my secrets. I confronted my friend and she didn't deny it. Her reasons , She did it, because some of these people are curious how I am doing now. I'm so disappointed and annoyed with my friend. I felt expose and humiliated. But, the damage had been done. I refrain from using facebook nowadays, I tried to avoid as a center of topics.
11 responses
• United States
9 Sep 10
I understand completely. When and if someone says I want to tell you something and please do not tell anyone else. This clues me this person may not be too trustworthy as if someone new me well that do not tell someone phrase would never be brought up. This tells me this person cannot be told something because apparently she may tell someone my secret and say do not tell anyone I told you. hmmmm There is some ring to this. I am as you I hear it, smell it and keep away from it all. Sorry you were betraded but move forward and eliminate these types.
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
It never occurred to me that she will use my personal information against me. I trust this person. We've been friends for too long. I don't know what's gotten into her. Thanks for sharing , hardworkinggurl...
• United States
9 Sep 10
You are very welcome and unfortunately it is a hard lesson to have learned. I am sorry she did not honor you as a friend, so being human you may choose to forgive but never forget her untrust worthiness.
@ggeeta (155)
• India
9 Sep 10
Good that at-least now you are away from sites like facebook to share your secrets. Don't ever share your secrets with anyone online. because no one here can ever be trusted. You do know that there is much fraud online right? You can't just tell everything about yourself, you yourself have exposed in the first case to your friend. Stop letting all your personal things in social sites. it might prove to be dangerous sometimes, you never knew who is really good and who will take advantage of you. right?
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
I guess, I've learned the lesson a bit late. Thanks , ggeeta.
@advokatku (4037)
• Indonesia
8 Sep 10
should never share a secret with a friend or anyone else, because has become human nature, his heart that easily divided and rapidly changing. Perhaps now, you can keep a secret, but how about tomorrow? no one can guarantee you will still keep a secret, right?
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
It is natural for friends to know each others personal information. But, it should never be use for gossips. Thanks, for sharing advokatku .
@jugsjugs (13045)
8 Sep 10
A few of my friends and myself were on about this the other day,about how other people had found out what was said about who and who said what and when.She has found out that there was a person that tends to tell other people what she has said and to who they went and said it to,however a few people had told this friend that they should watch what they say in front of this person,they learnt the hard way.I do not tend to go on face book,as there are too many stirers out there reading other peoples walls,aswell as telling everyone everything that is on the walls of the people.
• Philippines
8 Sep 10
I don't post anything personal on my wall. Just some family photos. I don't use the chat area too. I think that's why they become curious about how I'm doing. This friend of mine is chatting her way 24/7.
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
A friend will always be a friend. We ought to share our secrets to them because we are confident and we feel secured to share it with them. However we should choose our friends because sometimes they are the worst enemies. But it does not mean that they do not care for you anymore. It is just a terrible situation that your friendship faces. Just stay in touch together and be friends as always.
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
Secrets could be good or bad and sometimes there are things to be kept in secrecy for the welfare of the majority.
@richard03 (133)
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
i think secrets can never be hidden forever, some else may not know about it now, but someday it would still come out. but for as long as these secrets are not doing any harm from others its just okay to keep it or to known right away... but when it comes to friendship, keeping secrets is one way of seeing that you can trust somebody...
• United States
9 Sep 10
How deep was this secret that your friend told about you? Have you stressed to her that you didn't want anyone to know or did you just assume that as your friend, she should know not to say anything to anyone else? Sometimes we have misinterpretations of what a friend should know, depending on the situation. Maybe your friend wasn't trying to hurt you but she wasn't aware that you expected her to keep her mouth shut about the situation or maybe she confided in the person she was telling. My mother always told me that a secret isn't a secret once you tell someone. I have friends that I trust but they don't know every single thing about me. Sometimes you just have to keep things to yourself because you are the only person you can truly depend on. I hope you and your friend get through this.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
I do also have many friends, but as much as I have them, I am also aware that they have different character. I have a friend who is very trustworthy, but I could not share everything for she is very honest, I mean, there are some things we have to keep between two people but this girl, if being ask her reason is she just can't tell a lie. For me, it is not her intention to humiliate me but she can't just tell a lie, isn't she's so good? So, I think, before telling something even to your most trusted friend, make sure that you know that person really, and another thing is, there's nothing wrong to share something with other people, but we should also consider what is that something. If it is really sensitive, better to keep it for ourselves. Even we have trusted people, we should also kept something just for us alone for the sake of protecting our self esteem. It is only us who knows ourselves best. Better to know first the person.
• United States
9 Sep 10
I myself have been in this same situation many times. And what I have learned is to not tell people secrets over the Internet because nothing is really private on here. Tho if you do infact tell someone a secret know that they are a trust worthy person who will not tell what you have told them.
• Philippines
9 Sep 10
Keeping secret--that's what we are good at. Spoiling secrets--that's what some people are good at. I truly understand the feeling that your deepest secret is scattered because you have said it to the person whom you think you can trust. Life is a lesson to be learned. If you think that person can't be trusted,well then, don't say anything personal to him again if you don't want to be hurt twice. VAluing trust is ver important, when its broken its hard to mend it. In my case, I have this trust and mistrust issues when telling secrets to my friends because I don't know yet whom to trust and not to trust. Telling something important things regarding your life to a friend is really a big help for you can unload a heavy heart but be sure that that friend can be trusted and basing on your observations. Try this, ask something very secret to a friend of yours regarding one of your common friends, when he/she spits it up or not--you know how to do! You take control the situation. Your secrets are safe when you are with good and trustworthy friends!:)