second day of work and she has already used the f* word

Singapore
September 9, 2010 4:36am CST
This person has just joined our office and the person who is leaving is supposed to hand over and give her on the job training. A quarrel developed between them and the new girl uses the f* word on the senior. It seems that the new girl complained that the senior is unwilling to teach her properly while the senior argued that she is very busy clearing her work and will find some time later for teaching her. I was thinking, since this person is new, she shouldn't have shown her temper so soon. These few days she seems to be quite smiley around the office but hearing about the quarrel already leaves us with a bad impression of her. If you are the new colleague, would you want to leave this kind of impression on people? Or just tolerate the old staff since she is leaving anyway? Please share your thoughts with me, thanks.
5 people like this
23 responses
• Australia
10 Sep 10
I have to be on the side of the new girl in this situation...yes, she shouldn't have used expletives but I can understand her anger...she is there to learn from her new job from the person who is leaving so the person who is leaving SHOULD be making time to show her the ropes...while she is tidying up the work she needs to do before she leaves, why not go through it with the new girl so she can understand what's going on?
1 person likes this
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
That could be a good solution, if only the senior is able to realize this, they might have avoided all this saga. I think the fault is not on one side only, but maybe the new girl should have been more diplomatic.
@Metatronik (5899)
• Pasay, Philippines
10 Sep 10
If she's gonna leaving we will let her be but then of course it must have limitations. If she is a boastful enough that can make quarrel not only with one employee but to everybody then I think it is time to sue her.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Luckily so far she hasn't displayed any aggression to any other person, we have to monitor and see.
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Sep 10
Maybe you have put your finger on it. She said that to the other person because she knew she was leaving. She shouldn't have been so disrespectful, but if the other person is supposed to train her, she should train her.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Maybe there was some communications breakdown somewhere.
@allknowing (55080)
• India
12 Sep 10
The older generation specially women never use foul language not just at office but even in their own homes and elsewhere. If you watch the present day movies one hears these words so freely. And what about here in myLot have you not come across discussions that are filled with these type of words? I remember once at school someone mentioned the word 'bugs' and the nun promptly objected to it and said that word should be replaced with 'unmentionables'. My upbringing therefore will never make me comfortable with those who are free with profanities specially women.
• Singapore
12 Sep 10
People are brought up well in the old days. Many of the manners and politeness are now lost in society. Luckily I have not encountered any profanities here yet, but I have seen some rudeness.
@allknowing (55080)
• India
12 Sep 10
Would you respond to a topic such as http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2394034.aspx I would not. I somehow repel when I come across such topics.
• Singapore
13 Sep 10
Well, I have laughs reading the post and the responses, it is not offensive to me. People are free to post things like that, probably I wouldn't reply but I don't mind knowing a bit more about what's happening in the world now.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
9 Sep 10
And here i thought i was bad mannered and tempered, sweetie. She should have waited at least 1 week before showing her true colors. Stupid ninny that she is, just made life harder for herself. Unfortunately first impressions last. TATA.
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Hi saph, She would have topped you in that! btw, I do not believe you to be so. Yes, not a very good strategy to start with.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
10 Sep 10
I wish i could have been there to see my competition. Thanx for thinking that, though. She will learn the hard way.
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Well as long as she learns, some people never do.
@oldchem1 (8144)
9 Sep 10
I am probably goiung to show my age by voicing my disgusr at people who use such language in a place of work or other public place. I am not saying that I have not been heard to swear but never at work - especially as a new girl! I think it just demonstrates a high level of ignorance when people can not express tehmselves vocally without having to depend on bad language in such a way.
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Hi chem, I think she is adopting a very unprofessional attitude. As a newcomer, no matter how unhappy she is, she could have provide feedback to the HR manager instead of losing her temper.
@MsTickle (24957)
• Australia
11 Sep 10
Careful oldchem1...not any one of us is perfect...judge not lest ye be judged.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
good advice, MsTickle....thanks for gentle reminder.
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
9 Sep 10
Oh goodness gracious me, how times are changing! I have been the 'new' girl several times during my working career. I have also been the boss when I ran my own business for thirteen years. I have also been, and right now I am, part of a team but never, ever have I used bad language with colleagues regardless of whether they were seniors or were under me I find no reason to resort to such methods and I can't help wondering who decided that this person was the best for the role that they have and decided to take them on. If they are already showing their true colours this soon, then heaven help those who will have to work together with them in the future months! Neither when I was new or after I became older I would never dream of retaliating in that manner. That does not make for a pleasant working environment and has we have to spend many of of our waking hours at work, I do anything to make them pleasant, even wearing an extra smile where necessary
• Singapore
9 Sep 10
Hi Diana, Yes, it is very shocking to hear because we are still in a conservative Asian society and we seldom used abusive words here. I was really shocked to hear that she can get so worked up to use that word. The other lady cried hard after that because she was so hurt! So far, I have no dealings with her but she seems friendly and all smiling around the office. I don't know whether she will show her true colours again. There are surely many ways of solving a problem instead of being abusive at someone else.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
9 Sep 10
I agree. Resorting to bad words and shouting is not even a last resort for me. i feel that those once we use those methods we have lost our point in any discussion, online or off, and we lose credibility as well as respect from others. Shouting and foul language is unnecessary anywhere in my opinion
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
It is not diplomatic and is definitely the worse way of getting things done. It would only create feelings of resistance and negativity in others.
@voldrox (7205)
• India
9 Sep 10
Bluemoonpavilion, I have got my senses to warn me that i would be making the wrong move, no matter how angry i would get, i possibly could not do that to a senior. She probably had other things in mind, which flared her up for such a small reason. Anyways, she has already cast her impression. Too bad.
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Hi voldrox, Yes, she should be more in control and give some respect to a senior who is teaching her. If she is really angry, she could have talked things over with the senior instead of losing her temper.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Maybe that is the problem, we do not have a training manual but then our job involve skills that cannot be written down, we must learn as we go along. I remember when I first joined, nobody was around to teach me anything. My predecessor left 6 months before they recruited me. I have to ask around and learn everything on my own and I don't see any problem with that. My learning process is not prejudiced with the views of others and everything is a direct experience.
@MsTickle (24957)
• Australia
11 Sep 10
Actually, it would give me pleasure to see a young woman behave so aggressively under the circumstances. This girl is strong and knows what she wants - she is no ninny girly girl and she will go far. She already has made the whole office sit up and take notice of her. That's a powerful gift she has. You will always know exactly where you stand with this person.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Hi MsTickle, You are the only one who paints such a positive picture of her. That one we would have to observe. I guess she is not someone who would give in easily nor allow herself to be bullied or disadvantaged.
@Hatley (157468)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Sep 10
hi bluemoonpavilion Confuscious say " he who lips off around the boss gets fired" so I would think the new girl should keep her temper' as nobody else wants it, lol, and when blowing it with that nasty F work she is not making herself likeable to the rest of the crew. I have worked as a nurses aide, and never blew up like that or resorted to the f word, I kept my own temper when I was young and new to the job as first impressions always register with people.even when I was older and working in the library I bit my lip to keep from leaving a bad first impression of myself. I would always tolerate things like that instead of making a fuss. Nobody likes complainers thats for sure.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Surely there is stress everywhere we go, in our workplace especially. However that is no excuse for using vulgar and abusive words.
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Two words: Attitude problem. I think when she's in school, she always uses the word and eventually it became a habit. She has already lost at the second day of work, in that she can't even control her temper. How is she going to develop a good relationship with the rest of the colleagues when she is using the words everytime? If this goes on, nobody will be able to side with her if she is in trouble or withstand her. She really has to change her behaviour or else she might as well don't work.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
It could have been her habit or she was so angry that she couldn't find another way to express it. I do hope she doesn't behave like that another time, it is very upsetting.
• Philippines
10 Sep 10
That new girl has an attitude!!! She must have respect to her office mate to gain their trust and respect. If she had a problem in her work, where can get help?. that the question she face to herself. like George Bush said. " if you cant defeat them join them". bwahahaha... if i was that girl, i might say sorry for my Senior or office to show that kind of attitude. and i will explain to them why act like that, like i have broke up with my boyfriend. so that they can understand my problems.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Good suggestion! Help can be seek somewhere else rather than being so abusive. She makes it worse for herself than for others. Not sure whether she has any other problems affecting her behaviour though, these few days she seems normal enough.
• Thailand
10 Sep 10
hihi, may be because of the stressful work, may be because of the environment, or may be because she is rude, hihi
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
yes, we could guess the following reasons. She seems to be very vocal and proactive in expressing herself.
@Shellyann36 (8454)
• United States
10 Sep 10
Well I am surprised that she still has a job. I would not allow an employee to continue to work if they were that vulgar in general and on the first day. The first day is all about making good impressions.... (unless of course you are sleeping with the boss) pardon the bluntness! I am sure she will regret it very soon.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
hahaha, you are very funny. I don't think the boss has any influence in this equation. Not sure whether she regrets it though, the senior has gone away already, I guess she has to pick up the ropes herself now.
@tweetbird (161)
• United States
9 Sep 10
When people are used to swearing, it can slip, even at the office because the swear word is way too common for them. For a anyone to say that at the office, is says a lot about her. It's pretty low class in the work environment. But it's just a word, a sound, an expression. She might be having a bad day, stress at home, issues, etc. So forgive and forget but if the behavior continues, she should be fired and your company should be more careful who they hire and come up with a strict company policy on certain things like swearing, yelling or disrupting the work environment or disturbing others. I only worry about people swearing if they a) plan on marrying in my family and breed. b)I'd be considering marrying them. c)If they're paying my taxes. Otherwise, I don't give a crap. I consider it freedom of expression and bad habit. That's all.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Hi tweetbird, I see you adopt the open attitude towards things like this, sometimes it is correct attitude when things do not really concern us. If we are involved, then things might be viewed in a different light.
• United States
9 Sep 10
My motto with working with bad colleagues is basically not to stoop to their level as that would make me well at the lower level then them. Being so new I am surprised by as mysd says times have changed and employees today seem to think they can walk into a new job and dictate. Never ever rock the boat in a new position, keep all eyes and ears open. Once you are broken and have gained trust, then you can express professionally perhaps better changes for the good of all teammates.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Nowadays people really seem to lack manners hum.... It is a strange reaction to have for someone new.
@payout (3722)
• United States
9 Sep 10
Honestly, yes you hear peole curse all the time in public places but it's another thing to me when it's at an work area or job of some sort. Think about it like peole say first impression tells you a lot about a person especially when they speak. Now her working at a office and her getting upset about a thing like that shows. She has no patience not only that no respect for the people she works with or her surroundings which is very bad. Especially on a job and it's been your first week or so. Now yes manageres curse and some co workers most of the time peole do it around the people that you feel more comfortable around and not people that don't like you or don't know you at all. Believe this person will be put on there spot soon or later and if not then they won't have a job for too long knowing how they react towards little simple things .
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Hi, It is quite telling of a person's character when she behaves like that, especially in a workplace. There would be gossip all around on her. Well, she doesn't seem to mind at all and is able to hold her ground.
@marguicha (80205)
• Chile
9 Sep 10
Hi frind The person you are talking about is not showing her temper by using foul words. She is showing lack of manners that if I were her boss I would not tolerate. No matter what the problem, it can be solved with good speech. If she doesn´t have it, it´s not a good employee at any place.
• Singapore
11 Sep 10
Hi marg, I think you are right. It is a lack of manners and nobody appreciates hearing about that kind of thing. I don't know what the HR thinks, but she is still under probation and being monitored.
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
9 Sep 10
There were times when i was annoyed with one of my senior bugging me but i never dared to say a bad word not that i fear him but i just didn't want to be tagged to be a bad guy.All it takes is a word to change the perception of others about you...when it comes to being good its pretty hard.I think she hurried things a little faster that too on a employee she wouldn't see again as he was leaving.great day.
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Hi sunny, I would think that is the normal reaction everybody would have on joining a new company. Regardless of how annoyed she might be, it's not good to lash out at her senior. Bad impressions formed are pretty hard to be shaken off.
@carpediem17 (1317)
• Singapore
9 Sep 10
hi bmp, language of this nature is definitely a 'no-no' especially by a new girl to a senior. She should just observe protocol. I would think only if the senior did not perform knowledge transfer then could she sound out to the supervisor in charge or HR the actual events rather than create a disturbance. I think the office will view her in a very dim light because of her initial behaviour. A rather silly thing to do - perhaps it has gonna do with youth?
• Singapore
10 Sep 10
Hi carp, That is pretty much what I thought too. It would be more appropriate to bring the matter up to the HR or her boss. Possibly the problem would be solved at the roots too. The HR might arrange for someone else to train her. Her youth...she does not look that young to me...