Are you a friend of your Ex ?

two wonderful couple - a symbol of love for another
Philippines
September 15, 2010 5:00am CST
I'm quite a jealous kind of lover, it probably my fault that I sneaked it. I discovered this morning through a social network that my partner has been a friend of his ex. I don't find it big deal, nor I didn't ask why. I just can't help it, something inside me is really jealous. Are you friend of your ex? Do you find it okay if your lover are still friends with her/his Ex ? Should it be confided with you? What do you think if your partner doesnt tell you this little detail and you discover it.
2 people like this
12 responses
@romania2 (237)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
I'm not a jealous person, so I don't know what you're really thinking. But maybe it helps just not to think about your partner being friends with his ex. If my boyfriend was really close friends with his ex, I would question it. It wouldn't come from jealousy, it would come from maybe caution and curiosity. I actually don't believe that there can be a real friendship after a relationship. It just seems like those two people are still holding on to each other "just in case". Unless they have children, there's no reason for them to be friends, no matter how good or amicable the breakup was. I've gotten the "let's stay friends" speech, and I've also given it a couple of times. It doesn't work. To move on, it's better to stay away.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
Yeah youre right whats the point of being a friend of your ex anyway.
@flauee (92)
16 Sep 10
my ex and i are still friends up to this moment. my husband knows about this and he said its okay as long as there wont be monkey business on the sides (how could i? im happy with my him and our son). but unfairly as i am , i dont like my husband to be friends with his ex.. for there was this instance ( still at boyfriend and girlfriend mode)that i was with him during his birthday then all of a sudden a text message arrived saying " thanks for remembering my birthday.. happy birthday to you too. missing the double celebration we have before..." (his birthday is the day after the ex birthday). i was so pissed off.. for he told me long before he doesn't have his ex gf's number then bam!! there is this text... then he communicate with her through social networking but erased the msgs after reading but poorly forgot to erased the sent items and the trash...grrrrr.... how could i allow him (husband now) be friends with his ex??
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
Ive been in that situation as well and yes, it pisses me off.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
for me there's nothing wrong being friends with your ex after all you been together for a while. Feeling a bit jealous is quite natural but the best thing you can do is talk to your partner tell what you really feel about what you discover & whatever his/her explanation would be you have to trust them for you to have peace of mind.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
I wouldn't tell her yet, but eventually, if I observe another thing that's the time I will tell how I felt about it and ask her for an explanation.
@salonga (27982)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
Hi! If only friends then I don't really mind. But of course I would take extra attention if the friendship is getting too close for temptation. I am also a jealous type and would not allow any woman to have a share on my husband. I could practically kill anyone who will steal my husband actually But I am just too blessed that my husband is faithful and have no reasons to be jealous. He is not even communicating with his past exes at all.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
You are blessed with such a faithful man indeed! Taking extra caution with befriending exes is important otherwise temptation will take place.
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
15 Sep 10
Unless u have children w/your ex i see no reason for anyone to have any kind of relationship w/an ex. I know alot of people say their ex is their best friend etc. but i think that's a crock.
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
16 Sep 10
tHANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE, CHARZIEERAZ.
@deve_annrn (1857)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
I am a jealous girlfriend.., and I would definitely feel something bad if I discovered that my boyfriend is still in contact with his ex.., but being casual friends with her.., is fine as long as there is no constant communication ongoing.., like texting or calling each other.., or perhaps sending emails and private messages.., That will be something that I will be mad about.., I am still friends with my exes..=)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
You have a point on that charzieeraz, yes, we have to leave something for ourself, not a total hundred percent.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
i'm friends with my ex bf mainly because we still care for each other but it's nothing like the care that we have when we were still together. HOWEVER, since it's a fact that our breakup wasn't really bad, there's a bigger possibility of getting back with each other. just be aware of that. if i were you, i wouldn't allow my partner to be friends with an ex. not unless you know the ex too well or you trust your partner a lot then maybe it's fine.
• Philippines
15 Sep 10
I'm glad you're friends with your ex, yes, it takes trust in a relationship.
@vangie26 (449)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
For me, it depends on the how deep were their relationship before. i am a woman so it also depends on the attitude of his ex. On my experience, He had one ex who actually still flirts with him so definitely a no no friendship on any social media network. He also had an ex who I saw that no intentions of flirting or whatsoever so it's okay. i am even her friend, as well. So better watch out the attitude of the ex. Have a nice day!
@ruthhazel (213)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
We still friends of my ex. For me it's not big deal to become a friend to my ex. And at first we are friends before we became a lover.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
I want my partner to be honest with me if you got to ask question if it's ok that my partner are still friends with his ex ob course I will be jealous if I will know without telling me but I will get his side also I want to be fair with him why he do that and get his explanation.
@misheli (554)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
My hubby is my first and last boyfriend so I don't have an ex boyfriend. Since my husband knows that I'm a jealous kind of person he's not accepting any friend request from his ex girlfriends. But if I discover that one of his ex girlfriends is in his friends list I will delete her right away.
@jamed28 (1910)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
Some of my ex are my friends. But there are also some who turns out to be "not friend"