To Hell With Abusive Men

Philippines
September 16, 2010 3:10pm CST
This is the story of an abused woman who happens to be my friend. She was on a marriage with an abusive husband for almost seventeen years. Though it is not in a physical way but more on emotional, mental, verbal, financial abuse. Her husband is a very paranoid jealous man. He doesn't want her to work . My friend obliged with these, so she became a full-time stay-at-home wife and mother. But, even in these situation, her husband kept on accusing her of having an affair with other men. Which he cannot even prove. My poor friend is taking care of three children and one of her children is an autistic. She did nothing with her husband accusations and continue to live with him. She believes that her husband might change one day and will stop abusing her. But, life for her becomes worse and miserable. Her husband works as a seafarer for almost a year . And he still keeps on accusing her of being unfaithful. He keeps on sending abusive text messages to her.Calling her obscene names and that he wants her dead when he came back so he can get their kids. What makes the situation even worse, is her in-laws inducement to her husband. They do this certainly because of the money they're going to get from their son. The husband refuse to give financial support to my friend and their kids. My friend now cannot work for she had an autistic child to take care of. I told her to sue her husband. But, she don't have the financial capacity to hire a lawyer. She's deteriorating fast. It's a good thing she still lives with her father. But, she doesn't want to give up her children on her psycho husband. What worries me is that her life might be in danger when her husband arrive. I don't know how to help her. It seems her psycho husband leaves her no choice. She's on the verge of having suicidal thoughts. It also seems that prayers were not enough.
3 responses
• United States
16 Sep 10
This is really tough, well firstly she has to want to be rid of him completely for anyone to really step in and help. This has to hard hearing and watching this from your end and not being able to help. Try and persist that she has to put an end to this behavior. Or she will not be around long enough to fully enjoy life.
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
What she needs right now is the courage to end all of her miseries. But, right now she's still in a depression state. I was hoping it won't be too long till she gathered herself and face the reality. Thanks, hardworking gurl...
• United States
17 Sep 10
You are very welcome, keep checking on her and reminding her how valuable life is. You are apparently a good friend to her.
@formidexo (1351)
• Canada
16 Sep 10
That's a very distressing situation. Are there not any local organizations that help women with such difficulties, in the area where she lives? I know here they have all kinds of help for such women.
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
I have convinced her already to seek help. All she need is the courage to do it. Thanks for sharing, formidexo.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
16 Sep 10
Sweetie, i am not that well versed on philippine laws, but i know for a fact that she can go to the police and report him. The thing is, will she do it? I cannot think that one women can take that kind of abuse over that period of time. One thing is for sure. She will either kill herself or she will kill him. Try to get her to go and report him. Whatever you do, please do not tell me that women have no rights in the philippines. I honestly hope she can get rid of him or something as you cannot get divorced there as i understand it. Luck to her. TATA.
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
Women do have rights in Philippine's law. But in reality it is not being recognized. Our culture taught women to be submissive to their husband, no matter what. Catholic religion plays a great part on it. That is why so many women here in our country didn't know they were being abused already. They only thought it was part of the marriage life.. My friend still considered her kids interest. By the way , this woman is the same mother in my other discussion Cruel Intention. She has too much on her plate already. I was hoping she'll have the courage to put an end with her husband's abusing. Thanks, saphrina...