Should i Kiss my Girl friend ?
By Javeedforu
@Javeedforu (49)
India
September 17, 2010 12:56pm CST
Hi mylotters,
Last night me and my girlfriend had a big fight over her past life , actually i doubted her faith ,trust and honesty with me.There is one guy who is running behind and proposing her daily.My girl friend said to me about this long time back.but not fully.and now one of my friend ( also that guy's friend ) told me that my girl friend has already loved this guy and they both broke up because of some reasons which only they both know , and this guy is following her only because he wants to convince her and get his love back and he also said few things to me . i became angry and now everyone would have understood for what we had a fight last night . she agreed few things which he said to me but she refused to accept that she fell in love with him.she said that its a complete lie and i am only his first love but she agreed few things like they both know each other before and spoke with each other before like that . she said that she dint said this to me because she feared of losing me . We both are from muslim background and we live in such area where girls wont even look boys or other men . because our culture is like that . she said to me that she will prove her love by kissing me tomorrow in her school.i know that kissing is so simple for you guys.but for her thinking about the way she was grown up and about our culture she took the guts and said that she will prove her love by kissing me in her school.what should i do now ? should i beleive her ? or should i kiss her ? but i dont want her to prove her love in such a way in which she is not happy.HELP ME PLEASE
1 person likes this
15 responses
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
18 Sep 10
Hi Javeedforu,
I am sure by now you have already made your decision, since your post was written 22 hours ago. However, I will put in my 2 cents worth of advice.
Life is too short to be in a relationship where you don't trust your partner. If you think that your girl is in love with a another fellow from her past and she continue to tell you that she is not, but you don't believe her, what can she do to prove to you that she loves and wants to be with just you.
Are you just never going to take her word as truth? What kind of relationship is that? She should not have to work this hard to show you that you are her guy. Frankly, if I were her, I would be a little upset with you that you don't believe in me.
Everyone has a past. You knew she has a past before you came into her life. If her past is going to haunt you, then you should not be in a relationship with her, because her past will not go away. It cannot be undone, just as yours cannot be undone. You are wasting precious time dwelling on her past instead of living in the present and looking toward your future.
Be big about her past and move on, or else you will ruin, a possible good
relationship. I personally don't think that she should have to kiss you to prove her caring for you. You should learn to trust her, until you see evidence that she is not faithful to you. Forget about the other guy, you got the girl.
@Javeedforu (49)
• India
19 Sep 10
I am feeling very much guilty after reading your response..i never thought about how much pain she would have gone through when i doubted her loyalty..i deserve a beating from her
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
Not questioning her loyalty or anything. of course, if he Knows her past then i guess he has the right to know, what kind of mistake came from this guy so that Javee won't have to repeat it. 
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
19 Sep 10
Hi Javeedforu,
Just enjoy the present and possibly the future. Now is what matters, not the unchangable past.
@nophie (2336)
• Indonesia
17 Sep 10
hai javeed...nice to read your stories..iam moslem too (lived in indonesia)
i think kiss in our faith is not allowed since she become your wife (read Al Quran)..
i dont know how to discuss about your curious and jealous..
why you dont give her time to prove that she is right..you must check again the information from your friends..dont easily believe the information from your friends..and dont push her too much
@Javeedforu (49)
• India
17 Sep 10
I am not pushing her too much , I said to her that no need of kissing but she replied that she will do it because she is very much hurt the way i questioned her loyalty to me.
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
18 Sep 10
physical contact is compulsory in love,
if you both feel that..........you can proceed...but you said that she is a school girl,, so she has to know about life..........
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
18 Sep 10
If this is against Muslim Law, then why dare it? why can she just say it to Javeed and saved her from being arrested or something. what's with the dare when she can just be honest and tell her side. i think javeed will have more confidence in that loyalty if she explain her side, which is the truth of course.
or. you can consider nophie's plan but asked to either video or photo record it. well, in case you don't trust her at all that is
. @LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
18 Sep 10
Hello Javee,
I don't know but. WHY CAN SHE JUST BE HONEST with you and get it over with. you know let it all out and tell you what was that thing that caused her to break with her ex, instead of breaking one of your sacred islam laws.
Words are easy to say Javee, she could change her mind. that's only to increase your trust on her. kiss are simple, unless it's a LOONNGGG french tongue kiss. but that won't even work on me unless i get to know what's going on.
comfort her, enough to tell the truth. i think by doing this WILL prove how much she loves and trust you. @rameshchow (4426)
• India
18 Sep 10
is she a school girl?
oh! no,
first you encourage her education only....
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
17 Sep 10
Love is a beautiful thing. She is telling you she loves you and apparently you love her also otherwise this would not be questionable.
Kissing you in front of others whether it is to prove to you that she does love you is not a great deal. As when a couple is in love kissing in public should not be something of taboo.
I understand you customs are different, so I would strongly urge that a serious discussion with her is necessary. Express to her gently how much you care and love her and what your expectations are with a relationship. Hopefully she is open and honest and well things go well.
Good Luck to you both.
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
18 Sep 10
yes mmarixa,,,
you are absolutely right,,
and now he said that she is a school girl, so she must and should concentrate on her education only, because she has to know more about the importance of life and career...
and
coming to muslim tradition, i really admired to that,, because of their strict rules and regulations....
they(both) have to follow their traditional rules that is better for their future....
@Javeedforu (49)
• India
18 Sep 10
I went to her school today i just hugged her , she started crying and pulled my hairs for fighting with me..Then i went on my knees and spreaded my both hands in front of her and said I Love You loudly in her class infront of her friends..She cried again.. then few minutes later she smiled
@wiwa05 (230)
• Philippines
18 Sep 10
hi mr. Javeedforu!
don't think too negatively about her feelings. you're being unfair.. our feelings is subjective and you don't know what she really feels. maybe they have 'past' but once a girl is doing something whatever it takes, risking even her reputation just to prove her love for you, WAKE UP! You should be blessed for the love she'd given and will give to you. 'IF' you really love her, fight for what you feel(your love) and not for what you doubt about her. Love is unselfish, so try to be fair for her as well. If one day, if someone will talk negatively about her then fight for her. A key to a best relationship is to have 'TRUST' with your partner. If that wouldn't/does not exist in your relationship? Then I'll tell you this, that in no time you'll definitely break up. BUT if you really love her be unselfish as you can! Good luck and I know you'll both be happy someday (in God's right time)! ^_^
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
18 Sep 10
I don't think you should make her do that if she is uncomfortable with it. Can you live with that, by making her do that? I think it is enough that she has suggested it and what does her past matter anymore? I understand that we can get jealous but that doesn't mean that she chose him over you.. the guy is still begging but she is with you. Please don't make her do anything that she doesn't want to. Best wishes.
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
18 Sep 10
If you want to secure your love, hold on to her tight. Better still, show her more love and when you are both ready, register for marriage, so that no other parties will come in and disrupt. Since she also cares for you so much, try to appreciate it and love her as much as she loves you. That way, no other third party will disrupt it.
@sweetloveforeve (13107)
• Portugal
17 Sep 10
kiss her^^ i say this bcs if she doesnt kiss you you will always doubt of her love for you^^ if she kisses you you wont have more doubts^^ and it just shows she really love you^^ for sure kiss you is not a sacrifice bcs she loves you^^ dont worry and just go to her school and kiss her^^ just enjoy your relation with her and let that boy^^ he will feel tired of contact her if she doesnt answer him^^ you both have to ignore him^^ enjoy her kiss^^
@magnetizer89 (105)
• India
17 Sep 10
if u really love her..then u should not do such things in which she is not happy to just prove herself...
place your hand on your heart that u shld beleive ur girlfriend or ur frnds talk...
n u will get ur answer...
lets hope for the best that everythng will get resolved n you both will get back as u were...
@misheli (552)
• Philippines
17 Sep 10
Hi! If kissing her is not allowed in your culture then don't kiss her. Maybe she just said that to you because you did not believe in her. You have to trust your girlfriend if you really love her. I think your girlfriend really loves you because she will kiss you even if it is not allowed to kiss a man unless he is your husband. Just have faith in her and trust her.
