abortion

Romania
September 18, 2010 10:57am CST
this is a kind of delicate theme of discution. what would you do if you(in case of woman) or your girlfriend ( men) got pregnant by accident? would you keep the baby?. or if a girl got rapped, what do you think she should do? keep the baby or make an abortion?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@delmeg10 (112)
• United States
18 Sep 10
I am happily married with two wonderful sons; Luke (27 months), and Jake (2 weeks). When I got pregnant with Luke, my husband and I weren't even engaged yet. We planned on having children, but were hoping to get married and get our finances straightened out before we had them. It didn't work out that way, and both of our sons were unexpected. I never thought for one second to have an abortion because they weren't planned though. We ended up getting married when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with Luke, and everything has worked out. Now, on the subject of rape. I think it is a very difficult decision. When I was 14 years old (about 4 months before my 15th birthday), I was walking home from school, and I was raped. I didn't ever think for one second that I would get pregnant, but I did. I initially told my mom about the incident, but since I didn't know who the guy was, and I could only describe what he looked like, we went to the police, and I don't think she believed me. Anyway, I ended up getting pregnant and I told my mom about it a few months after I found out, because I was scared to tell her. Well, she decided that since I was so young, and the baby wouldn't have a father, she would end up having to raise the baby. She obviously didn't want that, so she decided it was best for me to have an abortion. I was about 25 weeks pregnant at this point, so the whole abortion process was an awful experience that I will never be able to forget. It was horrible!! Since the procedure, I've had 3 miscarriages that the doctors have said could be a result of such a late abortion. They don't know for sure. I was so scared that I'd never be able to have children at all. I feel so blessed that I was able to have my two beautiful sons, but at the same time, not a day goes by that I don't think about the baby I terminated. I know that ultimately the decision was my own, but at the time, I was so young and figured my mom had the best intentions in mind. I will regret that day for the rest of my life, but now I just try to make the best of the decisions I've made since then. It changes your whole life and puts everything into perspective. I can't say that everyone feels the same way I do, because I know that's not true. My sister has a friend that has had 3 abortions and doesn't seem to have any remorse at all. But, I on the other hand could never do it again.
1 person likes this
• Romania
18 Sep 10
wooow...delmeg10 you don;t have to feel guilty. youj was to young to have a baby. think about the fact that at 14-years old you were also a baby, so,,,aldo is hard to say that, I believe your mother took the right decision. a baby needs his mother but also his father. he needs to grow in a normal envirmoent and if both of his parents are with him...then it's perfect. I can tell you that I admire you really much and I'm, so happy that you found the right guy and have a beautiful family right now. congratulations
@owlwings (37705)
• Cambridge, England
18 Sep 10
Delmeg, you, clearly, had a very sad and dreadful experience (both with the rape and with the abortion). It's significant, I think, that you say: "... not a day goes by that I don't think about the baby I terminated." Yet, from what you say, it was NOT really your decision, even though you may have been persuaded that it was "in the best interests". You are by no means alone and I'm not even sure that, had you been my daughter, I would not have tried to 'persuade' you that an abortion would have been in the best interests of everyone and thus have foisted that decision on you ... forever making you feel guilty. I don't know what counselling you had after the rape but you can, at least, appear to talk about it matter-of-factly. Perhaps that's something you have learned to do, while still keeping your own feelings to yourself. It's a huge and very complicated and personal subject, of course, but there are a lot of times when we feel guilt for things where, logically, there is no reason for it. I was just struck by the one phrase that you used and concerned that you might not actually have had all the help and counselling you deserve. I am very happy that you now say you have a supportive and lovely family and that you seem to be well on the way to putting all the bad stuff behind you.
@maximax8 (27049)
18 Sep 10
If I got pregnant by accident when I was in a relationship I would choose to keep my baby. If I got attacked and got pregnant through that I would think about having my baby adopted. If I got pregnant and was told I was expecting a disabled baby I would keep my baby and do I could to help him or her. I was 36 weeks pregnant when I found out I was expecting a baby with spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I was offered an abortion and I said no way. I went ahead with the home birth that I had planned. My child is now a happy little 3 year old. He needs catheter care and will never ever be able to walk. I don't believe in abortion and so I wouldn't ever have one. I like the idea of keeping the baby or having the baby adopted. I think some ladies that get pregnant by accident have an abortion but later regret that decision. In early pregnancy a lady might feel emotional and not know the right thing to do.
@phyrre (2324)
• United States
18 Sep 10
I honestly can say that I would never have an abortion. I can't speak for other women, though, and I do believe in their right to choose for themselves. Personally, though, I would have way too many regrets if I were to ever do that. Right now I'm 4 1/2 months pregnant and I can't imagine ever having a baby aborted. On the other hand, I know plenty of people that have had abortions and I definitely don't agree with them, but what can I do? I know someone who had something like a partial live birth abortion, I think it was called. Basically, at 7 months she decided to have an abortion, so they induced her to give a live birth and basically let the baby die. I'm sorry, but I certainly can't condone that at all because at that point your baby could potentially live by itself. That being said, I also can't comment on what I would do if I were to be raped or something. I would like to think that I wouldn't have an abortion under any circumstances, but I've never been in that situation (and I pray to God I won't ever be in that situation) so I really can't say for sure.
• United States
18 Sep 10
Abortion, and childbearing in general, is a decision for every individual woman to make on her own. No one can tell her what to do because no one can judge her reasons. Every woman is different and has a different reason for her decision, no matter what it may be. I have no problem with abortion whatsoever. I personally never want to bear children under any circumstances whatsoever and I would definitely get an abortion if I ever got pregnant.