Can you really forgive that??

@saphrina (31740)
South Africa
September 19, 2010 1:46pm CST
Okay, first of all. No biting, No hitting and for Pete's sake, no snotty remarks. How do you ever forgive someone who takes you, your life, your love, hell the whole damn you for a ride? Can we forgive that in life? Everyone wants to be loved or just liked at least. Everyone deserves that in life. When you are lucky enough to find that love or hell even just the liking of you, will you be able to forgive if you were only played with? If you can, i would surely like you to tell me. HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO IT?? Not a rant or tantrum, yet! TATA.
4 people like this
19 responses
• Canada
20 Sep 10
I would have a very hard time forgiving someone who hurt me like that, I'm not sure that I ever would truly forgive them. However, to find peace and happiness for myself I would have to get over it and move on. True it was a crappy way to be treated and it hurt but I would not allow that person to continue to bring grief to my life. That person is not likely to apologize so why would I upset myself trying to force an explanation or apology from them, its a waste of time. I would accept that they are a creep, accept that he/she had me fooled, and realize that eventually people like that get what they deserve. Also, I would eventually forget them! Do you think they are going to find true happiness? No, not that would last! Usually someone like that cannot hide their true colors for long. I would have a good rant or cry and move on, they have wasted enough of my time!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I don't thin anyone will ever be able to really forgive something like that, sweetie. No matter how hard you try. Forget, i don't know, but to move on will be just as hard. I could give you an awesome word to replace creep, though. Thanx. TATA.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
I do understand how terrible it is.. If you will already get what you want, received the things or at least find someone in replace of the things which have been taken from you ...at this moment you can't forgive but things became okay.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I don't think anyone can ever replace what i'm not willing to loose, sweetie. I won't be able to forgive, though. Thanx. TATA.
@Peykat (119)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
Hello saphrina, I'm a optmistic person so everything that happens to me even it a bad one I only look at it as a challenge in life. I do get sad, but I never let it ruined my life. My suggestion to you is to move on, you are much better than him or them (hehehehe). One day you will find a person who loved you, the way you love him. Don't just around in a corner crying and saying I'm a idiot, show to him that you are way better than him, and you will find a much better person than him. Be confident enough to face all challenges and just ignore him for now. You'll never that someday he might be crawling for your forgiveness and want him to be in your arms again.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I have a very challenging life, sweetie. At least it keeps me on my toes, these days. I can face a lot of challenges, but i really do get tired of that. I don't think any man will be crawling to me. I would rather run away or something. Thanx. TATA.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (5854)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
I CAN but not for a very long time. You see I only forgive when it stops hurting and when it finally stops hurting I condition my mind to forgive and forget because if I don't I'm sure I'm going to find myself hurting once more. Being an optimistic guy helps me a lot in this situation but during the times that I'm hurting I could be very vulnerable. Till now I can't believe that people thinks immaturely that they can play with peoples heart. Be strong Saph, another thing before I enter into any relationship I reserve some love to myself. I don't go full throttle in love unless I already tied the knot with that person
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
21 Sep 10
Hello sweetie. So you full throttle? How amazing. That is one thing i have learned to never do at all. Even when the knot is tied, you always need to be on your toes as anything can go wrong, unfortunately. I won't forgive. That would make me a freaking ninny. Thanx. TATA.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
That would make me a freaking ninny. No it doesn't. The only one who can make you a ninny is you because your thinking so. Forgiving makes you human, a human with a heart, but I can understand why you think like that for now. Love you Saph! just always remember you got friends here willing to guide in the right way, just guide but not command you because you still have the full control of your life. About full throttle; I think I will go almost full throttle. I'm not married yet so I can't really say
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
21 Sep 10
You cannot say i am a ninny, Hex. That is so not nice, you know. Thanx for the love, though. One need that in life, to survive.
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Sep 10
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi Gandhi must have been the only strong person in the history of humanity.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I think it is time i need to teach Gandhi a few things in life.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
So, i rule the underworld. No one can hide from me, you know.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Sep 10
so we have all discovered!!!
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
20 Sep 10
I am currently in the process of forgiving someone I love for something they have done to break my heart into a million pieces. It's not the easiest thing I have ever done but I'm trying really hard. If you love someone you just learn to accept the fact that they are human and they will make mistakes. You have probably made mistakes and hurt others as well. So this is how I tend to forgive and move on. I also know if I don't forgive I have allowed them to make me bitter.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I won't say i have never hurt someone, sweetie. But not this kind of hurt. I am sorry, but i cannot forgive that at all. I'm actually not bitter at all, just disappointed. TATA.
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
20 Sep 10
We all deal with disappointment in life. Just don't let it rule your life and don't let it fill you with anger. Eventually you will have to forgive to move on with your life. I know it's difficult but you will find that you are better once you forgive. You don't have to keep that person in your life but having forgiveness in your heart will allow you to move on.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I know sweetie. It's just hard sometimes, you know. To forgive is just not my style.
1 person likes this
@LDalayap (25)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
there is only one thing that is great on the word and that is to love and be love (by my pillow) XD. hell now am not going to forgive him/her even if he/she cry then laught at the same time lol.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
Now that sweetie, is the funkiest, funniest and most awesome response i have ever gotten here. Thanx for that. TATA.
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
ehehe thanks am kinda new here and i saw your topic its so catching for me :D
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
And i even forgot my freaking manners, sweetie. Welcome to the madhouse, Sorry, i mean mylot. You will love it here.
• Singapore
20 Sep 10
There are just some who do not respect nor care about others. Their eyes are filled with their own selfish selves. I say, stay away from them! We need good friends in our life, throw the rotten eggs out. I will forgive them but no way will they take me on a ride again.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I do not want to see those eyes, sweetie. Rotten eggs is not the word i would have used, but in any way. I won't forgive them. No way in hell. Thanx. TATA.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
20 Sep 10
I agree with staying away part. I doubt if we can ever forgive - as the word is supposed to mean. True forgiveness might mean giving a clean record which is impossible. What we can do is keep those people out of our sight and mind. If that qualifies as forgiveness. And not try to harm them - if that qualifies as forgiveness. :) I certainly wont go around rewarding these people. :)
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
19 Sep 10
sweetie, sorry I can't forgive her. I will part as friends. It hurts a lot, true, yet we need to move on. If some one can forgive, I will admire them but advice them to move on and find a better one who really deserves their love. sweetie, life is short, never know how short it is, why waste time on one who takes you for granted.. Who knows, it may be for good, if I quit this relationship I may find my soul mate??
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
19 Sep 10
Hi sweetie. I won't blame someone for not forgiving a person for something like that. I myself won't forgive and that would turn into hate. Not nice, but hey that's life. I believe what goes around comes around. You hurt and play once, your day will come, eventually. I am sure you found yours already. Don't give up, yet. TATA.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
thanx meluan, you are so kind.
1 person likes this
@akn1961 (1035)
• India
21 Sep 10
yes it is very difficult to forgive any person of this type ,i can not forgive ,that person must be punished ,you should treat him in same way and return his response ,but whatever you do ,kindly do not outbrust ,do it silently ,thanks for sharing.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
21 Sep 10
Sweetie, i am the silent type and can be very cruel to people like that. I don't forgive or forget, ever. Thanx. TATA.
@melanierg (130)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
nope, sorry you can't really forgive a person knowing that he used you.. what you can do is not think about the person and concentrate on the people that you know who loves you and care for you, your friends and family for that matter.. and through time , you'll be healed .. and you'll be surprised that you can't even remember why you hated that person in the first place.. just give yourself space and you'll see that someone deserves your time , effort and love. it's just not him. :)
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
How nice. Thanx sweetie. I will make sure to get someone better then. TATA.
@vandana7 (64839)
• India
20 Sep 10
Saphy - good discussion. I dont know how to forgive. I just get bored thinking of it. So I turn my attention to other things like music, stitching, cooking, doing my work, painting, gardening... wow, I seem to be good at many things. Overall, I spend time liking me. :) Forgiveness, as I mentioned elsewhere is very difficult concept as per my definition. It implies you forgive the person to an extent that you dont let the past record interfere with the present. With me, that is not happening. So I guess, I am bad, and unforgiving. So what. Many people are. I guess, I am going to hell. I will have company there. :)
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
Thanx Vannie. Let me see here. I can cook, do a bit of gardening, have no idea how to paint or stitch, but i do love music,. I won't be able to forgive to any extent. If you get to hell first, please make sure there are lots of beef, okay. TATA.
@ankster (273)
• India
20 Sep 10
Hey you ahve started a very good discussion.I will not forgive the person who has given me pain deep within.Iam not God so it sobvious if I will ever come across such person who doesnt deserve my love I will show him his real place.I know sometimes we have to keep patience and calm and cool temper but few people do not deserve our care and love and Those who hurt us must be given punishment not forgivenss
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
Thanx sweetie. I feel exactly the same. If you hurt someone, you really do not deserve forgiveness or anything else for that matter. TATA.
• United States
20 Sep 10
I see that you are speaking from experience here...I understand where you're coming from but I have to disagree with you on one front - Everyone does NOT deserve to be loved or liked in life...that's something that is earned, not deserved. Love is a choice, not a rite. If I want to be loved, then I'm gonna have to love. Even so, that doesn't guarantee that I will be loved in return...man, life is cold sometimes. Innocent, loving people get shafted all the time...is it fair? Probably not, anymore than it was fair that Jesus came to save us and we strung Him up!! So what do you do? Well, if you're a loving person, then the answer is clear, you keep on loving...I'm soliciting that you be an idiot and keep loving the person who is using you...I mean wash yourself of that relationship (Unless it violates matrimony and the problem is not infidelity or abuse)...and make yourself available to a new relationship with someone you can believe in again...now that's hard as hell considering what you just came out of...but it is possible. Our problem is, we work up so much energy on trying to 'find' love, that we fail to pay attention to the Inventor of Love...that's Christ...He can heal those wounds caused by other people, and give you the discernment and strength to enter another relationship just a bit wiser than the last...take your time...after all, just because you're alone, doesn't mean that you're lonely...God bless.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
Hello Pastor. Welcome to mylot. Well true what you said on one side, but i still believe everyone deserve love in life. We won't argue about that today. I am honestly to lazy for that. To believe in someone again is the hardest thing to do. You cannot trust again, so that makes it so much more difficult in life. I have to agree on one thing though. Only an idiot will stay with someone who is using him/her. We cannot forget the inventor of love as He lives in each of us, if i may out it that way. Thanx. TATA.
20 Sep 10
although it is difficult, i will try to forgive. only time can be desire our heart... but it is not easy
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
You can bet that is not easy, sweetie. I won't even try to forgive that at all. Thanx. TATA.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
Forgiving seems like a difficult thing to do but of course, time is also very important for you to do that. Dont force yourself to forgive someone at a very little time. Its going to take a lot of time.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
I'm sorry sweetie, but i am the most unforgiving person that ever walked this planet. Believe me. Time takes to long to heal and make you forget. I won't forgive ever, no matter how much time passes. Thanx. TATA.
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
20 Sep 10
as much as i hate forgiving, i forgive...because i hate stressing myself with anger. BUT i dont forget....i might ignore what that person did, but i'll be ignoring that person himself/herself for the rest of his/her dam* life....
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
Ignoring can help, sweetie. But i prefer the hate part. So much more affective on that kind. Thanx. TATA.
@Memnon (2173)
19 Sep 10
Knight Hospitaller - Knights Hospitaller
Hmm. I am half expecting you to be using the dynamite and timer that I recently lent you for a wider purpose! If so, take heart that many of us have had fingers or more burned in the past. I was left by a fiancée who found that, erm, the contents of someone else's 'wardrobe' proved more attractive. My partner was left with an unexpected son by a no longer would be husband, in similar circumstances. Neither of us ever forgave. We remembered, and have, as a result, given more to each other than we could have gotten from former spouses. If you cannot forgive, just remember that there are always better, more faithful, people, on your side. Now for a little indulgence on my part by showing a rather splendid picture of a Knight Hospitaller. It has nothing to do with any religious link to you. I just like the picture! Take care.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
Strange how 2 people can be alike when they have gone thru almost the same things in life, sweetie. But 2 such people can be very dangerous, you know. Watch out for that one. What religious thingie was that? Love that Knight. Can i borrow him, PLEASE. Thanx. TATA.
1 person likes this
@cajimenez (452)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
I can never forgive that person in that matter. I don't practice the saying "to err is human , to forgive is divine". I think it's a stupid thing to do. The damage has already been done and is irreparable.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 Sep 10
They never think of the damage they cause to a person, sweetie. I won't ever forgive someone like that. Thanx. TATA.