Why is it that there are parents that correct their children,yet there are other

@jugsjugs (13046)
September 20, 2010 6:26pm CST
parents that do not even bother.I have rules in my house,just like they do in school,if they make a mess they are the ones that should clean it up,if their bedroom is in a mess,then they either tidy it or they do not get to go out until they have cleaned it.If my child/children are nasty to another child,adult,etc,then they get some privliges taken away,like not having friends in to play,not getting to play with their friends,no tv,no laptop,no pc,aswell as telling them why.
13 people like this
43 responses
• United States
20 Sep 10
I think that parents should correct their children when they have done something that they shouldn't, but I don't think that children should be corrected all of the time, I think that they have to be allowed to make certain mistakes. People in my family used to pretty tell me what to do and correct me for everything, and it got to the point where I wanted to tell them all to "F*** off!" If a child is constantly corrected, they get irritated and resentful of people and they will want to rebel that much more. Correct them, but don't make it constant.
@jugsjugs (13046)
21 Sep 10
I do not make it constant,as i do not have to,as they do know that their rooms aswell as any school home work/course work has to be done,before they go out.If my child beat another child up,steal,cause damage on purpose to other peoples things,then they do have to be disiplined,otherwise they will keep doing what ever it is they have done.Actions have consequences.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (88985)
• Marion, Kansas
21 Sep 10
Although there is room for correction, it is also important to tell a kid when he has done something right. Even better, let your kid hear you telling someone else that they have done something right. That moment of praise and bragging could mean the world. I imagine if rogue had been treated more that way, the attitude would be better. We see you say what your kids do right fairly often jugsjugs.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Sep 10
Yeah, GardenGerty has a point there, you have to tell them when they have done something right, because then they will always want to do that and they will want the praise. My parents praised me once in a while, but to me, it wasn't enough when they were constantly pointing out everything else that was wrong. I always felt like I had to live up expectations, that I knew I could never meet, and it even got to the point where it made me depressed. I know that actions have consequences, but at the same time, if you are constantly correcting and scolding your child for every little last thing, that can be dangerous as well.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Sep 10
Some PArents just dont care. Thats the way I tauht mine also it I told them to pick something up 3 time and if it isnt picked up it goes in the garbage
1 person likes this
@Hatley (155125)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Sep 10
hi lakots my mom raised me that way too and if you thought she was joking well think again. One toy went bye bye and I did a great job of obeying my mom after that..
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Sep 10
same with my kids I have now told grand daughter that if it isnt picked up to the garbage it goes she has so much she wont miss it for awhile! I have noticed that she has hand egg beater out of my drawer in her little kitchen she got for chiristmas.
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
21 Sep 10
My mother has a theory about young mothers today. She thinks they love the attention and gifts they receive while pregnant and when the baby first arrives, but when the excitement and interest wears off and it gets down to being a parent and all the responsibilities that go with it, they're not interested. They don't want to be bothered, so they do next to nothing to give their children a proper upbringing or they pass them off to someone or something else like grandparents, schools or the church. Of course this isn't true of every parent. There are some who take their responsibilities seriously. Unfortunately, there are too many people who no longer believe in personal responsibility.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
21 Sep 10
This annoys and frustrates me to no end. I do not feel anybody should be allowed to 'pass off' their children to anybody. My feeling is that grandparents and other relatives should NOT easily step in, they should force people into personal responsibility by refusing to step in. I think it is wrong for people to enable other people to continue destructive behavior rather than teach them they will NOT be allowed to act that way. Discipline goes for adults as well as children, and especially for adults who act like children. School is not daycare. School is not there to parent your children. If you have children, it is YOUR job to parent your children. Nobody else's job but yours lol. No I don't have sympathy for people, I can't afford to. If you do what leads to having children, then you should realize it might make you a parent and you can't shirk your responsibility once you have a child. If grandparents or friends or other relatives offer to take your kids so you can have a date or because you're sick or injured or something, that's one thing, and I totally think that's a great thing, but it should be offered and accepted only when it actually benefits both parties. A parent should not EXPECT their parents just to take their kids whenever they want, and their parents should not indiscriminately offer all the time either.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
my child is only four years old but he knows how to put back things or keep things. he knows where to put his toys after playing and he sure knows how to tidy things up. i can see my siblings has different styles on how to up bring their children. i have a sister who does not care like the one you are saying and i have also a sister who is very strict that her daughter is already in high school and she is still very protective with her. regarding to privileges taken away i too will make that rule at home when my son is in the right age. low grades means less privileges, untidy room too will affect his privileges. i can see that rule is effective. if needs to makes his chores too around the house. we are only three. me, my wife and my son so he needs to share chores as well.
1 person likes this
@Mickie30 (2636)
20 Sep 10
It really annoys me how so many people seem to hit their children. I'd never hit my children because I love them so much. We sit our daughter on the naughty step if she is really really naughty. When she is good we really reward her behaviour and tell her we love her all the time. We tend to ignore the bad behaviour. My little girl is well behaved in the main, confident and happy.
@jugsjugs (13046)
20 Sep 10
I have children of all ages,so we did try time out/naughty step for them when they were alot younger,but now i tend to take privlages away as i find that is a good way,also i never back down,where as there are alot of parents that do not stick to the so called punishment that the child has said it will be getting,so the child learns that they do not get punished and that they are only words and nor actions in the end.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Consistency is SO important! If kids know they can get away with something even once, they will attempt to get away with it over and over and over, at the most inappropriate times!
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
20 Sep 10
To me, what you do is what everyone is suppose to do. I do this as well. BUt you would be surprised just how many people just don't take the time or have the disipline themselves to disipline their children.
@jugsjugs (13046)
20 Sep 10
You are right there,as i hear people say that their child will not listen to them,aswell as they can not ground their child as it do not make any difference,so in their eyes it is pointless trying to disipline their child.The only way that you teach your child is to correct/disipline them,other wise these children are going to be a handful when they get older.Every child knows what the word no is,they just do not like to be told it.I think that alot of parents say that they are going to ground their children,knowing that they will not be gronded,so the child carries on.
• United States
25 Nov 10
Thanks so much for the Best Response. Many people get on to their child and tell them to do this or not or not to then they do not follow through with what they say. Another thing they don't set a good example and they do opposite of what they tell the child to do. This is wrong on so many levels.
• United States
21 Sep 10
I dont know jugs, I think times are so completely different from when I was young with raising children. I think parents try to be more friends with their kids now a days than the discipliner and unfortunately it seems to smack them in the face more than it does help them. Kids now a days think that they should be able to do whatever they want and that parents dont have a right to punish them and if they do they threaten the parents that they will report them. I also think that it is alot easier for parents to just let them kids do what they want or to clean up their messes than to argue and try to get the kids to do it... My kids also have rules, when we lived at our old house we used to do so much for them done to serving their plates and cutting their meat...when we knew that we were moving into a bigger place the husband and I decided that they needed chores and that I was going to stop cleaning their rooms for them, I only used to clean their rooms at the old house because everyone had to see them but now that we have the bigger house it has two bathrooms so no one needs to even see there rooms so I no longer clean for them. I have been called mean many of times but while it does hurt I also know that I will continue to do it because I want my kids to grow up to respect elders and others and to appreciate everything they have.
• Canada
21 Sep 10
I agree with your comment in the fact that kids today think they have all the rights and parents have none. I have 3 sons, 18 , 16 and 15. My 18 yr old was raised in the day when it was illegal to use physical disicipline. I took all the parenting courses and used time outs, 1 2 3 Magic, taking privileges away and giving choices. When he was 16 I had to put him out of my home because he wanted to run my home and me. He would take my phones and laptop from me if I told him he was grounded. He would threaten to punch medestroy my property. He is so disrespectful to everyone no just me. Alot of kids his age are the same. The schools have no control so they send the kids home or suspend them but then when they (kids) get home the parent has no control either. Time outs and taking privileges away work when they are young. Once they turn 13 or 14 they figure out just because mom says so doesn't mean i have to listen and they start defying you! I would tell my 16 yr old he was grounded and he would curse me and take my phone and laptop and ground me! My yonger children are totally different , they repect me and do as they are told. They talk to me as a parent not some hoe down the street like my older son does!
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
11 Oct 10
I was what many would call strict. But I see a lot of parents these days who, to me, are way to easy. My mother was very strict on me. I wasn't that hard on mine but I had rules and they had to obey or loose things like phone or tv or going somewhere. They had to respect elders and be nice to others. These days I don't see many kids who even say "Yes sir" etc anymore. Sometimes I think kids are being allowed too much freedom.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
23 Sep 10
haha =D There are so many kinds of parents out there. Some of them are always over-protective of their children, while some parents will tolerate the unreasonable behaviour of their children.. In some cases i have seen, parents telling their children it's ok to bully their maids, or they have the rights to claim whatever they see it first, and not sharing!! Can u imagine what kind of parents are they?? what example are they showing to the kids? Some kids even end up hitting the maid when they are slow in giving them food, and instead of scolding the kids, parents stand by their kids!! What's wrong with parents huh??
@dorannmwin (36608)
• United States
23 Sep 10
There are different parents that have different parenting styles. However, that doesn't mean that it is acceptible to be the kind of parent that never corrects your children. That said, there are a lot of things that I am lenient with my children about. However, there are just as many things that I am strict with the children about. They simply have no choice but to do their homework and help with chores in the house.
@khanzee (126)
• Pakistan
22 Sep 10
I think the best way to correct child is to understanding of mental situatio of child. if parent don't understand thier child's mental situation they can not correct. some parent say that we are wors than our child, how can we make them understand, it is worst thing than they did in past, because if you were not correct ,there might be some reason. if you see your child doing some thing wrong while not correcting them is the biggest mistake for parents as well as child. So We have to understand mental situaion of child and thier interest and decide what can be done for making your child on right path.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
22 Sep 10
There are good decent parents who take responsibility for their children’s behaviour, there are those who only care some of the time and, sadly there are the ones who just could not give a darn what their kids are up to and that is very sad especially when you take good care of your little ones, it is difficult to understand why some parents are so irresponsible; it is the children who suffer…
@carmelbg (521)
22 Sep 10
I think discipline is very important in a childs life as it will make them fit into adult society a lot more easily. Children who are not taught wrong from right, punished when bad and not taught how to behave properly become unruly and more likely to disobey laws and rules when older. I am not sure why some people would not want to teach their children these valuable lessons in life, I think some of it is people having children when they are very young and they haven't grown up enough to teach their children properly.
22 Sep 10
Parents must keep their goals for their children right in front of them. Not only must they pray for their godly developement, but they also should praise and encourage them in the many small steps that they take to getting there. As we learn to handle disobedient children, focusing on the task itself can easily distract us. Because of the long-term nature of training children, a parent's eyes might never be lifted above the problems that are being addressed. The parent is in authority, but the child will challenge that authority. When we bring our child back to where they need to be, we will face opposition, crying, rude remarks, big tears, etc. The parent must be confident that they are leading the child aling God's way. Otherwise, the parent will tend to drift into compromise and inconsistency. Before you know it, they are back to where thye started. The parents must work as a team to endure the persistence that will come in correcting their children.
• United States
22 Sep 10
That's why there are kids that are rude doesn't know how to respect. I do believed that children are the reflections of what kind of parents they have!
22 Sep 10
i think all kids should be taught like that alot of parents dont want to do it because they dont care it seems like and thats why kids try to blow up there school or whatever it is bad parenting cause they dont want to teach in a early age and before you know it they dont listen to you and then it all goes down hill from there
• United States
22 Sep 10
The way a person discplines their children depends on how they were raised. I recieved whoopens in my house. The Bible says spoil the child spare the rod. And i beleive that a child that has constraints put on them by their parents turn out better. Of course every scorning doesn't need to be physical but you need to incorporate punishment and rewards in the parenting. Punish when they do wrong and reward when they do good. But also when you punish you need to explain to the child why they are in trouble.
@vinnz21 (23)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
You are a good example of parent Jugsjugs, but I take note that being strict all the time will make your children rebel in their own way, just normalize the teachings for your children, be true and make some consequence in implementing your rules. Don't be cruel in order to have peace in your house everyday.
@doormouse (4619)
21 Sep 10
i think some parents find it too difficult to discipline,so they just don't bother,maybe some don't like to hear their child scream and cry while they're being disciplined,no parent likes upsetting their child but sometimes it needs to be done in order to teach them right from wrong
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
21 Sep 10
The kids are the ones who suffer for this in the end. That is a cop-out, of course it is easier to let kids just get away with things but easy doesn't mean RIGHT. Some parents do everything for their kids and do not teach the kids how to do things for themselves, and then in turn don't EXPECT the kids to then do the things they have learned consistently in order to form good habits. This drives me nuts, as when my daughter was much much younger (say two, or three), she could and would put her dishes in the sink, her clothing in the hamper, pick up some of her toys, throw away trash, etc, and I have friends who think their 5 or 6 year olds can't do those things. WRONG. Those kids could and should do those things, they are plenty old enough to learn how and they have the understanding, physical dexterity etc, to do those things on a consistent basis and it's fair to expect that. I agree with you too, many things kids expect these days are PRIVELAGES, not RIGHTS, and you CAN take them away if they are not behaving or acting in an appropriate manner.