what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Philippines
September 21, 2010 12:32am CST
Hi, my lotters! I just want to share this and maybe get advice in a way.. I'm with someone for 3 years now, long enough to know each other's bad and good sides. Just as things were goin' good, here comes a "blast from the past", who gets friendly with me, then things get rocky. So rocky just because i'm being stupid again. What would you do if you fall for an ex while you're with the so-called "the One"? just like to hear your thoughts! :)
18 responses
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
haha, well it's a nice question. just as what your heart wants, never will it be your mind's desire. your heart may belong your ex-bf but, remeber, you are still officially commited to someone your present one. just imagine how far you've gone with your present bf and compare it to your past bf, who between the two stayed longer by your side? haha, probley it's the one who stayed longer is the one i should choose :]
• United States
22 Sep 10
I think it's important to remember that love is a choice. Although many times it seems we don't want to accept this, it's the truth. So if you're falling for an ex-flame, you are making a subconcious decision to fall for her. I can promise you that. If you're with "The One" DON'T RUIN IT. You don't know how blessed you are. Many of us out here are still looking for that one special person. Don't let a choice ruin a happy future.
@hoishii (16)
• United States
22 Sep 10
I would look deep in my heart and see who would benefit me and my life more in a relationship. Who would love you for you and never let you down?
• Canada
21 Sep 10
If you're falling for an ex while you're with someone else, you might want to step back and reconsider your priorities and where you are in life. If it was me, I'd probably stay with whoever I was with- remember, if they're an ex, that means you've already broken up with them once, right? But I know things aren't usually that simple. just... lots of communication and honesty.
• Singapore
21 Sep 10
Woah this is so hard to solve! Falling in love with an ex while in the meantime you're with you dream lover. I thought this only happens in dramas! Ok, what you have to do is to avoid any contact with your ex for a while and try to steer things up even more with your "The One". That way, it'll get rid of any bad thoughts and while you've taken a liking with your ex again, this could be just a moment of mutual feeling you have towards each other. Don't worry I think it won't last long. ~Good Luck!~
@tony4u (47)
• Nigeria
21 Sep 10
be patience with your friend as god almighty is patience with you in all your faults.
@rogue21 (37)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
I suggest you give yourself time to think. For a few days or so, spend time with none of them. give yourself time to decide on which one you really want to be with. But if I were you, I would stay with 'the One'. :)
@jinjer168 (1599)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
Hi there! First and foremost, what's the reason why you broke with your ex? From this very point, you will be able to conclude or think about whether its right to fall for him another time. You are lucky enough to have someone with you for the last three years, so its one thing that should never be taken for granted. You could get all the people's advice but its still you who will decide at the end of the day. Follow your heart but remember to use your mind as well. Good luck!
@chona0912 (104)
21 Sep 10
hi , you easily fall into temptation. What would you feel if your partner did it to you. In a relationship, one should be devoted to only partner so that life and family and the children too would succeed . I tell you . I've been married for so long now and my stable relationship with my partner gives the solid foundation we have in the family . Even if problems will come , i know my house is strong because of the foundation that we build with my partner . It's your life and the choices are simple , a happy , contended , secure life or a troubled , shaky and worried and problematic life.
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
Well if you could feel the real love just compare the two which weight more then you could decide since it is not good to have a partner out of pity that could be tantamount to lying. So if I am yours then i have to think over and over again who between the two who you like to stay. it's your choice your happiness spend on your decision i just wish you luck. Choose the one whom your heart the most dictates though their must be doubt just be sure the other person is not fooling around and makes a wise decision.
@dollar3235 (2063)
• India
21 Sep 10
As most of the people have already mentioned here, you should forget your ex. Sometimes, when you are in a relationship, people take you for granted and they do not care about you, this is one of the reason of breakups. Once you broke up with someone, you certainly will not be happy and it will hurt. Later on, if you are strong enough to move on with it and luckily find someone who is caring and loving; it may be possible that the ex will be jealous of you and would like to screwup your happiness by making you do stupid things. Once your relationship with your present friend is broken, the ex will also go away leaving you at the same place where S/he left you before. However, this time it might hurt more. Choice is yours, take your decision carefully.
21 Sep 10
if i were in your shoes..i should have known first if the feeling/s are from both sides..if you think u are just the one who fell in love with an ex..then better keep it yourself and be happy and contented with what u so-called "the one"!!! But if you think u have the chance to know that your ex is feeling the same way with you..then better to let go of yourself from the girl with u now..because it might just make her get hurt by staying with her without your love. It might tend for both of you to get into a cold relationship and so useless being together because one of you..has lost the feelings that before binds together the two of you!!! But atleast don't leave her unless she realized that's the good thing for both of u to go separate ways!!!ok..
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
temptations! temptations! stay away from the "ex's". coz they are always bound to get you in trouble. it is like trying to find out if it would work out the second time....if i were you, i'd stick to what i have now. besides, you've been with your partner for 3 years now. so what if it sometimes get rocky, who's relationship is perfect anyway? but dont make a problem out of it by getting any more closer than comfort with an old flame. trust me, the more you stay away, the less pain you'll get.
• Mumbai, India
21 Sep 10
well you should always stick to your present and forget the past. Enjoy what you have in the present. just think how you will feel if your 3 year long bf. does the same thing and falls for his EX. being rocky. are you going to like it ?? Won't you feel cheated ? w I would never fall for me EX again if I have a gf. who I know is the one for me. That would be the last stupidest things on the earth I would do going to my EX. if you continue like this you are sure to invite trouble in your present relationship and maybe your EX will also leave you after having fun. "A bird in hand is worth than Two in the bush".
• United States
21 Sep 10
I was in the same situation as you.. I am with a guy who is partially the one for me, dated for over three and half years and then all of a sudden an ex pops in.. I some what talked to my ex behind my boyfriends back (bad bad bad thing to do).. but I learned from it that my ex is not worth it and I had to get my boyfriends trust back. I suggest you to forget your ex, exes are your exes for a reason and move on with what you are satisfied with :)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
I think you have to think real quick first and consider many factors, weigh the benefits and the disadvantages for both sides, perhaps its not all the heart that will decide this time you have to be wise as well. Consider that someone here is at stake as well as you do, someone will really get hurt over your decision.
@canaussie (223)
• Australia
21 Sep 10
Most of the times, what you feel inside can mislead you, so best to be logical about these. It will probably help if you write down why you like the ex and the present mate you got and compare. You can also ask the opinion of your family or closed friends or ask both guys a simple question, how much do they love you and why should you choose him? LOL!
@sayariza (146)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 10
forget your ex...keep your "the one" tightly if you fall again to your ex, think about your with your ex? why you broke up? so why you want to waste your time with someone who ever threat you bad? the one you found is the best for you if you really want to come back to your ex, and you broke up again? where will you go? to that "the one"..huups I think he will leave and forget you and try to find his "the one"..but it is not YOU