Obsesson with the words "best" and "superior".....

@vandana7 (62366)
India
September 21, 2010 8:55am CST
I was responding to one of the discussions a few weeks ago, and I was asked to look for the best. I was wondering did I ever go to the best schools? No Did I live in best of homes? No Did I wear best clothes always? No Did I fare better than the best? NO Do I look better than the best? Nooooooooo Almost everything I could think of, I ended with a no. I compromised. So what is this fight about my religion being the best? Does the religion have to be best to follow it? Is the content more important than the name of the religion? Did the prophets say - fight amongst yourselves to prove that what we are following is the best? If indeed my religion is superior to yours, why is it that you all have equally good if not better looks, intellect, abilities, homes, blah blah. How come your god is able to give you all that, and my god is not able to do that for me, even when I believe in him or her to be the best and superior? Finally - please, please - we are talking about religious tolerance. In a class there can be more than one student who ranks first, and in class there can be more than one student who gets A+. Don't we know that?
1 person likes this
15 responses
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
21 Sep 10
mmmmmmm, Vannie. Public school. Normal home. Normal clothes, etc. for the rest of that list. Religion, don't have any. I cannot be bothered by people who think they are the best or superior. They will only give me a headache which i try to avoid these days. Before i forget, i think i got a z- or something. TATA.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
Me too!!! People dont fight for those things, but they fight to prove their religion better than the other...
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
21 Sep 10
It's because they are idiots, Vannie. At least the 2 of us are normal. That's a good thing, i think.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
Actually I agree with people are idiots.... 2 of us are normal.... I guess I agree there too ... as long as it is normal for blond's to be dumb!
• United States
23 Sep 10
The thing about being human is that we are free moral agents. That way we get to examine the evidence and decide for ourselves which religion we feel is correct or best. I may try to convince you that mine is the correct faith, but I have no right to force you to believe as I do, and the same holds true for you toward me.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
Now - you come to my point - why should you try to convince me about your fait at all!!! I mean, you never told another person - use this toothpaste, this is the best, or use this tea leaf, it is the best. You never told another person about school, or house, or just about anything. Why then this need about the religion? If your religion has a solution to a particular problem, you could share. But default accepting that your religion is perfect in toto is a bit hard for others to take. Then the competition surfaces, and flaws in religions get pushed under the carpet. :) To be honest, I think almost all religions have flaws too. May be we perceive them as flaws because of time and change in thinking. Nevertheless, there are inconsistencies. :)
• United States
23 Sep 10
I would try to convince you because the faith I follow is the truth, not the most popular, not the one that's most attractive, not the one that will tell you what you think you want to hear, but the one that's the truth and will tell you the truth. Do you have a problem? Tell me what it is and I'll see what I can find out in Scripture.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
24 Sep 10
Sweetie that is precisely the problem. You are not getting it. What I am trying to say is, you believe in it, that is fine. It matches your thinking, your desires, your liking, and you have some happy childhood memories associated with it, so you think it is truth. It is true for you, yes. And I agree. But if you tell me my feelings to similar extent are lies then it is not fair. You should give others as much chance to reveal their truth. And listen and understand that if you want to be the one to convince. Dont you think when you say yours is the only truth, you are insulting another person's intellect in comprehending the truth? Take for example where you reside. May be your city is cold as of now, and that would be true, as true as the fact that my city is hot as of now. And both truths co-exist!!! So you trying to convince me or another person that it is only cold is not fair? Do you get it sweetie? That is what leads to competition, anger, dislike, resentment, lack of trust, more clannishness. That is the reason I said let people discover the truth, let them ask for it if they so desire. But do not say there is the best, superior or only religion. All roads do lead to Rome. It does not matter who travels by which road.
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
21 Sep 10
You do what is best for you. You believe what is best for you. You follow your soul to you Creator in the best way that you can. You accept that everyone else is doing this too. That is how you live your life. That makes you the Best You. Shalom~Adoniah
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
That is perfectly alright as long as the belief is personal. Expecting another person to believe what I believe to be best is bullying, isn't it?
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I gather that you have never read one of my Responses before. I do not believe in anyone EVER invading another one's space and that includes their religious space. No one has the right to try to influence the beliefs of another. They may answer questions. If a Discus ion is a to way street...cool as long as it stays that way. As soon as that invisible line is crossed, "discussion" should cease. hands should be shook and everyone should part as friends, with their personal beliefs intact. I do not believe in proselytizing gently or otherwise. If your religion is "good enough" others will seek you out. I am a Jew. I belong to the most hated Religion/Civilization on the earth. We have come close to annihilation so many times it is a great wonder that we still exist...We Do. People also knock on our doors to convert. The Orthodox teaching is to turn away a potential convert multiple times before accepting them as a student for conversion. Then it is years of study. One old reason for turning someone away is that one must never put their life in mortal danger intentionally. Converting to Judaism is putting your life in mortal danger. No I do not expect anyone to believe as I do...unless it is simply to let your neighbor live in Peace. Shalom my neighbor~Adoniah
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
I agree with your view to a great extent. However, I find it difficult to believe that any man or any religion or any computer could hold all the secrets of creation. Therefore, each religion has some solutions, not all. What we need is a nice blend so that if condition, then use this solution, else condition, use this, end if. (programming kinda stuff). :) Ultimate goal being peaceful co-existence of course. But may be, I am being too idealistic. :)
@bamrahkirti (1819)
• India
22 Sep 10
It is a very subjective question and the answer differs from person to person.For me if we believe in a religion that is by choice and not because it is induced on us.The religion teaches us good lessons on morality,ethics and self improvement.And i believe no religion on this earth asks for blood shed and fighting for the sake of proving it to be number one. I do not understand what people get and achieve when they try to induce their own religions on others and in this way they harm the sentiments of others. A good religion is that which teaches a person to be tolerant and to educate the society about the ill effects of unnecessary fighting and turbulence.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
I agree. Religion should not be forced on others. I also feel nobody should say, mine is the best, or mine is superior, whether or not inducing. That annoys another person. Honestly, religion is just like that baby walker. It prevents accidents, and teaches the baby to walk. Once we learn how to walk, we must leave the walker, and walk on our own! We must learn to think, and at times be open to question what does not seem right in our religion. Possibility of change in the way of thinking is there. But so is the possibility of some corrupt priests having adulterated the religion. So we need to look for the core of the religion rather than getting lost in the superficial web, dont you think? Core is same across all the religion so how can any religion be superior or inferior? :(
1 person likes this
• India
24 Sep 10
I like the example of baby walker. I wish everybody has sound and reasonable thinking like yours.
• United States
21 Sep 10
My religion is better than yours simply because I believe it is and say it is so! No, the above comment is not what I really believe. I believe that if something is helpful to you and makes your life better, especially if it also makes the lives of your loved ones better, then it is most likely the best choice for you. That does not make it right or wrong, and it does not mean that it would be the best choice for everyone. I do not think that there is one universal answer to anything, because things vary so much from region to region and person to person. I think that is one of the reasons that there are so many religions. It does not necessarily mean that people think there is more than one God, although some do, but the way that they worship that one God might be different. If it does not cause harm to anyone, then I think that it is good if it works for you and satisfies your needs.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
Hi PA - I liked your response very very much. :) I know I am supposed to wait before giving best response, but I doubt if anybody can better this thinking. :)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Thank you so very much for the honor of best response, especially so quickly. I really believe that tolerance is one of the key aspects in life. I mean, there is obviously a point where you need to draw the line and say that something is not right, but if something is not hurting anyone, and especially if it is improving the life of others, then I don't think that it hurts anyone, even if it is not what you (or anybody else) chooses to believe or how you (or anybody else) would choose to act. Unfortunately, religion is one of the areas where tolerance should be shown most, in my opinion, and yet it seems that it is one of the areas where there is the least amount of tolerance. Somehow, that just does not seem right at all, especially when one of the main points of religion (if I understand it correctly) is to help us to become better people.
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Sep 10
hi vandan to me the best religion is the onw that makes you feel comfortable and lets you be as good kind and thoughtful as you can be. B est is all in the eyes of the beholders. the word best is silly as is superior. I just like to go to my own church where i feel at home, and practice the way I can to be a good person.I think God pretty much hears us no matter what church you belong to.If we do not practice religious tolerance we are short circuiting ourselves.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
I agree maam. We grow up with certain beliefs, and practices, and it is a bit difficult to shed them without being bewildered. So definitely, we are comfortable in there, even when we realize somethings should be different. And I agree, god listens to us, always. :) Irrespective of time, language, method, ... just about anyway. We just have to ask him. :) And I like the way you say, short circuiting ourselves. :) Actually, when our scriptures were written, condition of the world was different. Today, under global conditions, we do need to exchange ideas. My religion may have some solution, your religion may have some. While not all solutions would be perfect all the time, at least some would turn out to be superior. Just because it is your religion that says do unto others what you would like them to do unto you, doesnt mean it is not acceptable to my religion and I shouldnt adopt it. I disagree with that sort of constraint. My religion, therefore, needs to be flexible, and adopt good things in other religions. It certainly does not qualify as the best in my eyes. :)
@bird123 (10481)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Well now, Vandana7 You do go to the very best school around. It's called LIFE. It's a school where we can learn it all. You are right about religions. The more they fight to look superior; the less they are. I have found none that really understand God completely yet they do all carry knowledge. They would understand much more if they came together and learned from each other rather than fighting to be number one. Interaction is key for all of us. Much is learned from all the different views. Though there is a lot of drama, it's better than no interaction at all. It might not appear so, but people do learn along the way.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
Bird - You understand the difference between understanding religion and knowledge about religion. I agree that people should meet, trade their knowledge and develop a superior religion that would help all life forms, not just humanity. But getting people to leave their age old beliefs is a tough task. :) You saw me presenting a few points in your discussion, and you know how people can be in denial. At least, I set the ball rolling. Hope the next time she attends a discourse, she asks the same questions. :) That way, somebody knowledgeable will come forward with hopefully right explanations.
• United States
22 Sep 10
Yes, I think words like "best" are horrific, especially because everyone's definition to that word is always going to be different. Why do we always have to compare each other. We are all unique in our own way and should be able to do the things we want as long as we're not hurting others. Someone is always going to be worse or better in certain things and you're going to be better and worse than others too, and that's what makes each person special and different. As for religion and spirituality, I think all that is the relationship you have with whatever you call your spirituality, so there shouldn't have to ever be a ranking for that! If the word best is to be used, it should be 'what is best for you', and not what is best compared to others!
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
I agree with all the points that you've mentioned here. Funny, both purple's in myLot had best answers to give on this. :) First point not to compare, second not to hurt, third to celebrate differences and learn from them, and fourth no rankings in spirituality.
• Malaysia
21 Sep 10
A friend of mine had a beautiful summary about religious tolerance and why fighting amongst ourselves to prove our religion is the best is stupid: The God of a monotheistic religion (aka Christianity, Islam, Judaism, etc) must be pleased that people have found so many ways to praise and worship Him/Her. And really, who wouldn't be pleased that people have found so many ways to celebrate themselves? Which is why I find all this fighting over which "religion is the best" stupid.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
I agree. Anybody trying to say their "religion is the best" or their "religion is superior" is not educated enough in humanity. If there can be more than one good surgeon, if there can be many good songs that we've heard over the years, and many movies as well, then why cant there be many religions that are equally good? I think when people try to force others into accepting that what they believe to be best is the best shows that they are confused and want somebody else to reinforce that belief by pointing something in their religion that is worth believing. :) Forcing another person to think and believe like me is coercion, and bullying.
@chayapathys (2113)
• India
22 Sep 10
There is nothing permanently best in this world because the world is ever changing. What is the best today may not be the best tomorrow.In famous poem Morte de Arthur the famous poet Milton says"Old order changeth yielding place to new lest one good custom should corrupt the world...."Therefore the words "best" and "superior" are relative terms with reference to a particular time.How do you look your best is not by outward appearance but by your inner qualities.However good you look in outward appearance people judge you for your noble qualities like compassion, love and help.one should show the inner beauty only
1 person likes this
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
22 Sep 10
Hi vandana, fighting for religion is foolishness. All prophets or avatars preach their religions for the whole mankind. Followers make the differences. I'm a Buddhist Hindu, Muslim or Christian not according to my choice. We get our religious identity according to our birth. So why some people fight for religion? All religion is for peace. Those who fight for the 'best' are not true religious person.
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
24 Sep 10
Hi bhanusb, many of these religions existed concurrently. Take for example Buddhism, and Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam, Christianity and Hinduism. Therefore, prophets could easily have said other religion is bad and not right, so lets get the army organized, and start converting. Even Jesus didn't do it. So why are people trying to deviate from that method. Those who want to peace may approach anybody they feel comfortable with. And even such relationship with either god or prophet is not binding. :(
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I've experience many people advising and competing for the best in all those subjects, not just religion. Been bullied for my clothes, been looked down on by my choice of college and not finishing, my home, etc.
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
23 Sep 10
Competing to be best - is it accompanied by being the best in city, State, Country, and world? If the person has lost there, then he is not the best, isn't he? :) So when somebody says they are best in the class, in a derogatory way, then a rejoined - yest of course, but not the best in the city, or state, or country, or world. :) That way, they will realize to be humble.
@shaggin (36364)
• United States
21 Sep 10
Very good point. Whose to say that my religion is the best. I'm always willing to hear about anyones religion I dont know really what to believe and I dont put people down for having different beliefs then I do. Some people get vicious if you dont believe what they do and thats wrong. I think society in general has a lot to do with people try to be the best or have the best. My daughter is so competetive. She always wants to do everything better then everyone else and have more of everything then everyone else. It drives me nuts. I really hope she grows out of it soon.
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
22 Sep 10
Hey - we dont force our liking about ice creams, or pizzas on others. Why do we try to show off about religion? :( As to your daughter - she will be just fine - with a parent like you. :) Dont worry, be happy. :)
@Jotomy (6327)
• India
21 Sep 10
Hi vandana, i believe religion is no way concerned about our all NOs. Religion is the one which human beings believe its a good path to lead a good and quality life. And whoever have this religious tolerance are the grade A+ students. For me no religion is best or superior all are good, every religion is teaching only good. Have a nice day.
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
When I listed Nos, I meant we dont really go for the best, then why do we look for the best religion? As to the rest, I agree with you. :)
@Buchi_bulla (8299)
• India
21 Sep 10
Yes. All religions lead us to the same destination may be in a little different path. Hence all are First Rank students only.
@vandana7 (62366)
• India
21 Sep 10
I agree 100 percent with that statement. :) First Rank students. :)