Before marraige and after marraige ?

Mumbai, India
September 21, 2010 6:28pm CST
What do you feel does change in the life of a women and man after marriage ? Most of the people change for good after marraige is what I have seen, but there are a few exceptions as well. Life especially for a women changes drastically after marraige as she goes to stay with her in-laws leaving her own house and parents. Before marraige A lover is ready to do anything for his girlfriend but after marraige he suddenly changes or denies to do anything for her. Before marraige men are not responsible at all but after marraige they seem to become matured and responsible Whats your take on this ? Please share what else do you think changes after marraige for both men and women.
2 responses
• United States
21 Sep 10
That sounds like a cultural thing that thankfully does not exist in my country. I do not believe that marriage should change anything. I believe a couple should have their relationship sorted out long before marriage even becomes an option.
• Mumbai, India
23 Sep 10
hello Gloomcookie Well there was nothing of cultural thing in that. don't you go to stay with your husband after marraige, be it a separate house or otherwise. Believing does not help here unfortunately, practically a lot changes after marraige be it a cultural thing or not. And couples could sort out relationships before marraige then no wonder there would have been less divorces :D. anyways thanks for your inputs :)
• United States
23 Sep 10
I my country a woman does not go to live with her in-laws when she gets married. Many couples move in together before marriage and some married couples may even live with the woman's family, not the mans. There is absolutely no reason why getting married should change anything about a relationship. The vast majority of divorces are due to people believing that marriage somehow changes the nature of a relationship when it absolutely does not. Others still divorce because they think they're supposed to change after marriage and they disregard what actually works for their relationship and try to follow social stereotypes which are also completely false. Marriage is a status, nothing more. Commitment and compatibility are up to the two people in the relationship. Getting married changes nothing.
@Karunvig (714)
• India
23 Sep 10
Dear Gookie, Don't bring marriage and country on the same track. Marriage is something that happens in every country, ways may be different but the ultimate result is same. Marriage happens in ur country and marriage happen in my country is a association tht a gurl and boy will be together forever legally and will live happily. (although many a times thy dont live happily and many of the consequences takes place). If one marriy me with a hope of tht I will be a better person after marriage then she must be a big fool, because a person can not change its inneer personality. Just like planets all the characters are fixed in us. My habits surely can change but i will be same as i was bfore marriage. The real reason for break up is lust, infatuation of a person for other. Just to get a status that i hav a sexies partner, thy lov others and decide to marry but in between thy forget that thy nvr loved each other and thy were together because thy want to show off... Love, what the hell is that for them... and thy end up with breaksss... where ever u live in girls house or boys house, it totallt depends on ur culture and no harm in this. Dont think tht a guy if weak if he is stayng in girls house, try to knw the reasons behind it and see hw strong he is.. Getting marries changes a lot, if person loves each other. If something has forced them to get married thn nothng wil change and if love has forced them to get married then everythng wil change... there will b love all around and love love love will win....
@kathyglim (184)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
A man and a woman gets married when they believe they love each other and understand each other. Life of anyone of them doesn't stop there. Each is a unique individual and continues to live life as she or he wants to. But compromises then comes it. They could work out things that they believe is best for both of them.
• Mumbai, India
23 Sep 10
hello Kathyglim :) Nice reply, yess we have to make compromises to sustain a relationship often. Almost everybody does that to work things out :).
@Karunvig (714)
• India
23 Sep 10
Dear Kath, I am not agree with you totally. Not always two person who loves get married. I tell u one incident, I had a friend, who had a very beautiful girl friend. They were into relation for atleast 6 yrs.. but when the marriage tym came, real loves come out, the guy distrbuted the cards of his girl friend marriage as due to some family problem they didnt get married. LOVE and MARRIAGE are totally two different things in my opinion. Love not starts before marriage as it is infatuation many a times and sometimes we can say a blind person got a stick to walk. Very few are the cases where both love each other and after marriage also they continue to love each other. ANd when a couple after marriage starts to cope up with the bad habits of the partner, despite knowing tht his/her partner is the worst person in world and still thy continue to live together that is Love... it is not the four letter word which start and ends in just a minute... Try to know the essence of the words and esence of marriage, its a challenge and only those win, who has the abality to stand still in strong strom. Love from the heart to the heart who loves your heart...
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi Karunvig, What you said is true, not all that loves each other would end up in marriage. But to those you will get married, they have to adjust to the attitude and habits of their partner. Surely things may not be the same when they were courting. Just the same, if they want to save the relationships, they have to do some adjustments and compromises. Have a nice day!