I need to know...

United States
September 22, 2010 9:57am CST
Ok I apologize I tried this before and for some reason it only posted one line of discussion. So try #2. My question is is it just me or was this straight up rude? And what would you have done? A few months ago my husband approached me and told me his friend and his roommates where getting evicted and if he could stay here for a month cause he had no where to go. He also said that he would help around the house in return, I said fine. I mean I would want someone to do the same for me right? Ever since this man came into my home it was nothing but problems. He gave me dirty looks if I did something fun for my kids, threw his dirty dishes in my sink for me to wash, made my husband get rid of his beer bottles, let him borrow an air mattress to go somewhere and returned it with a hole and never said anything to us, oh and the best one of it all... asking him to watch our dogs while we were out of town for 8 days since he was staying here. Instead of him watching the dogs for those 8 days what he did was he let them out of the cages and let them run loose in the house for 8 days. We came home to the most disgusting house ever! That is not how I left my home. After driving ten hours, I had to clean my couches for the next 3 days, scrub my floors! pick up all my personnel stuff that was destroyed. There was no laying my head down and relaxing after that drive. And he laughed. How can someone be so rude like that? We let you into our home! He still has some stuff in my house and I want to mangle it. Is that wrong of me? I mean ok I cleaned up after the dogs (which should not have happened in the first place), but I also lost a lot of priceless, not replaceable stuff that hurt the most. The only thing he could tell me was sorry, I was tired? Don't ever approach me with you being tired. I work all night, take care of the house and the kids. Sleep about 3/4 hours a days and go back to work. Don't talk to me about being tired. How would you treat someone else's home if they let you stay with them if you were down on your luck? Would you have done what this man did to us or actually show your appreciation? Should I mess with his tv or not? I am really upset about this. I have told my husband that he needs to get his stuff out, and he is never welcome in this house.
2 people like this
8 responses
• Canada
22 Sep 10
oh my gosh that is absolutely ridiculous. If someone did that to me they would be out on their ear faster that you can snap your fingers. I am so sorry that you are going through that situation. I it is completely unfair to you and your family to be treated as you are. Hopefully this individual can turn around and help you and be more appreciative towards you opening your home.
• United States
22 Sep 10
Thank you for your response. Thank god he left, but it just when I come across something that I find messed up because of the situation my blood starts to boil all over again. I have told my husband that this man is not welcome in this house anymore. If he comes to see him then the front yard is as far as he can come.
• Canada
22 Sep 10
Im glad he is gone.. I can imagine that your blood would be boiling. I would have lost it if I was in the same situation. I don't know how someone could live like that.
• United States
22 Sep 10
I would never have left him to care for my dogs to begin with. That was something I would just not do. he was there and to help clean the house yes he should have at least cleaned up behind himself for sure. As for him being tired he was and so you can understand being your tired as well. if I were you I would leave his stuff a lone since he is not welcomed in your home again. He did not set it on fire and cause you to lose everything this counnts for something. As for the dogs many people are not pet people and would have left them in the cages. So I will leave that one alone. Get yourself something warm to drink and calm down. He is gone now an dyour home is in one piece. Be thanksful for those things.
• United States
22 Sep 10
I understand what you are saying. And I do agree with you. My biggest problem with that one though is if he didn't want to watch the dogs he should have said no. If he didn't like dogs he should never have played with them while we were here. I wish I did know better, and I wish I did follow my own heart but I guess in this situation I trusted my husband cause he said he was his friend. Thank you for the response. Starting to feel a little better, really needed to get it off my chest, I just really hope nothing else pops up that I find out after the fact.
• United States
22 Sep 10
I am glad your feeling better as well. I know I would have poured water down his tv. But,you can remain the better person and just rid this loser from your home and life. if he ever needs a helpinghand again your hubby knows not to bother asking you. Take care.
@LaurenInLA (2272)
• United States
22 Sep 10
I don't think that you should tamper or destroy any of his things. Don't lower yourself to the level that this jerk has reduced himself to. I cannot begin to imagine someone treating someone else's home like this whether or not they are staying there free of charge. He clearly doesn't appreciate your graciousness. What does your husband say about this situation? This is his friend and I think that a serious talk was in order some time ago. At this point, I would insist that your husband tell him that the gravy train has pulled into the station and it's time for him to disembark
• United States
22 Sep 10
Thank you for your response. Thank god this man has left, he actually left on Labor day. My husband I believe is also just trying to cut him out of his life, as soon as he gets him to get the rest of his stuff out of our house. And yes, I definitely do not want to fall his level so I will not mess with his stuff (but I won't lie, it will always sit in the back of my head). But as long as I have mylot to reassure me that there are still good hearted people out there I think I will be ok.
• India
22 Sep 10
I'm sorry but I'd tell such a person to get lost and never show his face around my house ever again. Not rudely or anything, because the damage is done. I'd politely ask him to leave with all his belongings. This often is the situation we face and then people wonder if the world really has any good people left. If this is what I get by being good to someone then I'd do anything to be really bad and I really mean it.Hard luck sister.
• United States
22 Sep 10
That is my problem now. Makes me wonder if it is even worth helping anybody anymore. I mean I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would have done something to show my appreciation.
@chillpill90 (1937)
22 Sep 10
Oh my GOD!!!!! I would never ever treat someon who has put me up like that. Even if he was tired h could have asked someone else round to help him look after the dogs. I cannot believe your husband did not kick off if that happened to a friend or my partner the guy who did it would have been out as soon as i got back. I think you should not give him back his tv for compensation and the priceless things that were destroyed is unforgiveable. that man sounds like a big Jerk.
• United States
22 Sep 10
I have said to my husband I now understand why this man has an ex wife. My father in law came for 3 days just to visit and say hi. He took out my trash, cleaned my kitchen, cut my grass, watched my kids, and even made me a birthday dinner to say thank you. In four months this "friend" all he did was give me headache, stress, and let me doubt people in this world now. I think I just want to mess with his tv so I could show him my feelings about how he respected my house. But then I think I don't want to stoop to his level.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
23 Sep 10
What in ungrateful so and so! I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with this poor excuse for an individual! First of all I would not touch his stuff, there is no point lowering your good self to his low level! If this man is still living in your house he has to get out now! I would approach hubby and explain to him that you are not willing to put up with this inconsiderate slob any longer, that one of you has to go and it sure as heck is not going to be you! Your husband should have told him to go when you first returned to find your house in a mess!
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
23 Sep 10
Wow, that is very upsetting! Especially when it is the spouse's 'friend', I think you need to kick him out this instance, but don't do anything like damaging his property, you just need to get rid of him. That is your house, and how come your husband is letting me get away with that?!
• India
22 Sep 10
I'm sorry for the double post but what I'd like to add is that you seem to be a very considerate kind of person. You and your husband were generous enough to give this guy a place to live in but you definitely didn't get what you deserved. Sometimes it's not good to be too good. Be a little selfish and get at least some things done your way. I'd be very unhappy to know that some good Samaritan was taken advantage of. Take care.