Does divorce always give a bad thing?

@ifa225 (11098)
Indonesia
September 22, 2010 11:19pm CST
my parents were divorced about twenty five years ago. i was so jealous whenever i see a kid hug by their father. i feel an emptiness that i could not understand till now. but most of all, i am glad that my parents were divorced because now i know that my father is rude and cruel man. i remember he kicked my leg because i did something wrong. i was blessed that he is far away from me so he can't touch me anymore. so do you think divorce always caused a bad things?
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
23 Sep 10
Absolutely not. Many, many times a divorce is the best thing that can happen for a family. Some people are just not meant to be together, some people really should not be around children, especially their own. My parents got divorced when I was 16/17. I only wish my mother had done it sooner. My father was and is just a bad person. He was extremely abusive and my life because of it. My mother wasted over 20 years of her life on his nonsense. The divorce was the best thing to ever happen to my family.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
it is good to know that divorce i sthe best thing happen in your family. sometimes we tend to think that being together is better than if they have to be apart. but that is not really the true.
• United States
23 Sep 10
My mother "stayed for the kids" under the delusion that a two-parent home was more stable and healthy. Instead she ended up subjecting herself and her children to 16 years of abuse.
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
separation - the best thing for both of them
Divorce isn't a bad thing, or shouldn't be considered at all if the partner is not abusive. people doesn't understand how hard it is to be in a relationship, more so, most men doesn't understand how hard it is to be a wife and a mother at the same time. but lets not talked about the dark past. am just glad GLOOM that you're mom had been freed of that abuse.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
24 Sep 10
Yes. Divorce does not always lead to bad things. Sometimes divorce is brought into a better life. Indeed, children often become victims because of divorce, but if parents can respond properly, the child will not become victims.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
It is the child who always been the victim whether the divorce happen or if the abuse happen. as the parents they can only to minimize the bad effects not delete it to zero. and i had proven this difficult decision had lead us to a better life
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
Yes, I really understand. We can only minimize the adverse effects. I hope your life will always be good, and always getting better.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 10
Thank u for your hope Indah. i wise the same thing for you too
@adhyz82 (36262)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
ya ifa.. iam so sad read your experience of your life..do hope can make you traumatic because your parents divorce.. as i read in newspapers, ya, the divorce always make a bad impact for the children..i dont know exaclty but i do hope you had no many bad impact because of your parents divorce
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 10
there is always a bad impact. but i think that is my job to turn it to be a good one. Life is not always a happy things.
@adhyz82 (36262)
• Indonesia
28 Sep 10
ya, life is not only happy things..sometimes we got a bad things but God give us heart and mind to do the best and got a happy things..
@kjones505 (273)
• United States
24 Sep 10
Divorce is not a bad thing. If two people don't want to be together then they should separate. Two people that force themselves on each other are doing nothing but breeding a destructive situation.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 10
yeah...there is no need to push one passion. they don't belong together. this is what had to be happened.
• China
23 Sep 10
In fact ,divorce is harmful to some children .it makes some children not live happily.they want have both mother's love and father's,unfortunately,most of children won't enjoy these loves after their parents divorced.so i hope when we consider marrying,we should be cautious abuout choosing our girlfriend or boyfriend to aviod divorcing. have a good time!!
@Hatley (164468)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Sep 10
hi ifa no sometimes the best thing to happen between two people who are fighting all the time is a divorce. I only wish my parents had had the g uts to end it as he was a cruel hypocrite of a man who spouted verbal abuse at my mom year after year. they should never have married as he was as old as her own father, and he was sure not the wonderful person my mom's father was either, a m ean, vile tempered man who did not deserve to have a sweet loving kind person like my mnom for a mate.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
Hello Mrs. Hatley, This man is not really deserve at all to have the love from his wife nor his child. I hope he is not going to abuses u and ur mother by his verbal
@nangisha (3504)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
Hi Ifa.... I think a divorce never an easy decision especially if you are woman with child and 100% dependent to their husband for economic. I think your mom also had a hard time when she decide to divorce, at least she save you from your cruel dad. I think its bad or good for the children its depend on the situation and how the parent handle it also their willingness to give the best for their children after divorce happen to minimize psychological effect.
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
i think so because when husband or wife dont love her couple ,husband can hit their family and if wife they will leave home or do something worst too,,so i think sometimes divorce is good but there's must be a couple that still in love but they want to divorce
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
2 Oct 10
that is right lucky when they fight the things are getting worst. it could hurt anybody. so it is better for them to separate
@pogi253 (1587)
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
I think divorce is a very difficult phase in life. The best way for all the parties in the divorce is help each other cope. They will go through the anger, same emotions before the healing process can be completed. They might as well help each other ease the pain or make the transition as smooth as possible by being decent to each other especially for the couples.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
separation can also give the couples some time to think to what happen with them. then from there they would know that to do next to make things better or to fix the problem. nice idea Pogi
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
separation - can't hold relationship
Hello Iffa, At first I totally went against it because it really destroys the sanctity of Marriage to me. but what do I know, I was just single fantasizing about the good old happy family thing. not until i started to realize how cruel my father is as well. i didn't understand how my elder siblings hated him. all changed when at one time, he took my shirt and raise it as if he's going to punch me. that's when i realized how they are so mad at him. even now, he sends limited money to our family, simply because he's out there. as for me, am glad too that he's not around. our house isn't like a huge junk pile anymore because when he was around, he used to collect so many old stuff. that my old room was filled with "balikbayan" boxes that could fall on me in case of earth quake. Divorce has always been a bad thing for couples, but it's better than they both end up hating or killing each other.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
sorry to hear about your father Let, some father thinks that violence is the best way to make their kids respect him. of course he is wrong, he only get the hate for what he had done. but i really hope u can make your marriage would happy ever after
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
When you say divorce, it leaves a bad mark in every relationship. But i believe that divorce always bring something good to people involed. Someitmes partners should separate ways in order to have a good life because it is not healthy anymore if they stayed together. I agree with divorce actuall because i believe that it will bring good benefits to both people.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
hello Jun, It is divorce leave scar in every mind and every couple. but that is the thing that we have to face if there is no more comfort in a marriage.
@deserve40 (1643)
• India
23 Sep 10
I do not think that divorce is bad thing. It does not give you any bad thing as long as it is done with full understanding that the two persons involved cannot continue to be husband and wife for some reasons. It is better to remail away from each other if you do not feel good in company of your partner. However, I think that the decision should not be take in hurry. Many times in life we come across incedences when we do not feel comfortable with our partner but it is temporary feeling. So enough thoughts and time should be given before deciding to get divorced. In your case you have mentioned that you are happy to have your father away from you perhaps this is a typical example of divorce not giving bad things always.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
i know that i feel hurt at the first time. but it is greater to have two parents at the same time so i can have more love from them. but sometimes what we want is not good for us. that is why divorce is not always bad. thank u.
@nophie (2338)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
hai ifa... nice to see you again here.. divorce is never good for kids, and always make trauma...so many people is suffered because this divorce..whateever reason, divorce should be done as last choice..
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 10
hello nophie, thank u for dropping in. but if they see their parents fighting all over and over again, don't u think it is wise to divorce than to make some bad experience to the kids?