Mother knows best even in choosing your man to marry?

@SimpleBB (1332)
Philippines
September 24, 2010 6:49am CST
When your mother doesn't want to argue with you and say the famous line that "mothers know best", would you agree even if she interfere with your decision of choosing who to marry? My friend had a boyfriend for 3 years, and planning to settle down with her bf. Without her knowledge, her mother has consistent communication with her ex-bf. Now that she told her mother their plan of getting married, she refused and want her to marry her ex. The mother told her that she knows she could have better life with his ex rather than her current bf and soon to marry. My friend now is in dilema of deciding if she needs to be an obedient child now in this stage of decision making or would she choose the person whom she wants to be with for the rest of her life. If you were in her situation, what would you do?
3 people like this
19 responses
• India
24 Sep 10
Well I would listen to my heart and brain.What i feel is right i'll go with it. I don't think parents have complete right in choosing life partner it is something that the child and mother decide. But if we have chose the wrong person then it could be a trouble.Would request your friend to think wisely like who's better person ex or the present one.And who's fault was it to break up. Have a nice day!!
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Thanks simoncomet, Yes maybe mother has the right to guide their kids but not to hte extent of even the man to marry. I will surely ask my friend to consider your suggestion of analyzing who she thinks deserve to fight for. Thanks for responding in this post. Hapmy mylotting.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Sep 10
Hi Simple, It depends on the relations that you have with your momma or pa. For me, I am a male, my parents, though very caring, never understood me. But we were never distant. However, when it came to marriage, though I had made my selection, I still asked my parents about their opinion. I do know that even if they would have denied the marriage, I was going to marry her. I feel, if the parents are close and understand you well, they know you inside out. Chances of finding a better life partner are more if one thinks. However it is not something that can be guaranteed. After all we are all humans and have different shades. Though the final decision should be yours. Cheers, Sids.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi thesids, I agree with you. If our family is doing ok, it is always best to consider their opinion, though at the end, we still are the decision maker. Thanks for your opinion and happy mylotting.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
26 Sep 10
Thanks for the appreciation of the response. Have a great time. Cheers, Sids.
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
I will listen to my mom and have his opinion if that will satisfy me but of my love will still rule. why should i let anybody manipulate my heart. sure they can tell their opinion and suggestion but they should not force me to obey what they have told. I am on the right age to have my own decision and besides if something happens with my decision i will be the one to suffer not them. It's not i don't obey them it's just that there's a reason why me and my ex didn't work out and why is it called ex anyway? right? I am sure i will still be awarded as "obedient child" even if i didn't make their decision. Listening, understanding them as my parent that they don't want me to be perish and loving them back counts. I am sure they will understand it too because they also felt it before they get married.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi ohbelle, You're right, being an obedient child has nothing to do of deciding whom to marry, after all, we're still consider opinions but if we knew that we are on the right path of decisions, it still us to make it especially that we are the one to be with our partner in our entire life. Thanks for sharing your views on this post and happy mylotting.
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Thank you and Good luck to you and best wishes to your friend.
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
25 Sep 10
Her mother may have a valid reason for not wanting her to marry the current boyfriend. But I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. If I really felt love toward the current guy and knew in my heart he was the right one I would possibly go ahead with the wedding. But if there is even just one doubt in the girl's mind she should reconsider who she wants to marry. Maybe her mother could be right in that situation but then again she could be wrong.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
WEll, we really never know what lies ahead for us, other people's opinions can always be consider but the decision will always be ours. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this post. Happy mylotting.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
For me not at all because there choice also can make you bad through for the long in your relationship but for me I would be the one to choose my husband.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi ebuscat, Choosing the person to whom we're going to be our partner for life should be our decision and no one else can hinder that right from us. Thanks and happy mylotting.
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
i dont agree on that.mother knows best when it comes to taking care of us and they are the one one who will understand and accept for whatever mistakes we have made.But i dont agree that mothers knows best when it comes to marriage because some mothers also are left by their husband and mother dont know evrything too.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
you're right xenachinah, Mothers are responsible in taking care of their siblings and giving them good values, and should be the first to support them and understand but not to decide for what they want to do in life especially when it concerns their making their future. Thanks for your sharing on this post. Happy mylotting.
@dags_03 (42)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
"Mothers knows best" is one of the famous line that I always herd. Well, I if I were in her situation I think I will follow my heart because marriage happens only once. And it is not a game to depend the decision on others. Perhaps Mothers knows best but not all the time. There are instances that you should decide on your own because we are selves know where we will be happy.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
hi dags, Yes, you're right that when it comes to marriage, it must be our decision for it will be our future and happiness that in stake. Parents are still needed for advices and guidance. Thanks for your response. Happy mylotting.
@jennbart (1333)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
There are only things mother's know best. They do not know everything. We are still in charge about the guy who we will marry. Maybe you can get some tips, but mother's cannot decide for their own children. There are also times when they just need to shut up.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi jennbart, Yes as parents,they should understand also their limitation as parents, but not in everything especially when their siblings are of capable already to make decisions. Thanks jenn for your response. Happy mylotting.
@wiwa05 (230)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
I love my mom and I respect all her decisions but when it comes to love and marriage, it's a different thing. Come to think of it, you'll spend the rest of your life with someone who'll you marry. Do you think you'll have a happy life with someone you DON'T love? We only live ONCE and we should live life to fullest - and that's with someone we love! Life is too short to be wasted! Anyway, time will come that our mother will accept the one we truly love. She'll understand one day. ^_^ God bless! ;)
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Thanks wiwa, Well, just like you, my friend is a respectful sibling, probably that's the reason why she is confuse now, but like you said if they are in good terms of her parents, she would be understood of whatever her decision would be. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this post. happy mylotting.
• Canada
25 Sep 10
I will follow my hearts desire. yes its true that mothers know best but this is something that your friend should be firm on her decision. Its the heart that matters and nobody else
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Thanks tiffanyveron for commenting on this post. It is really a hear matters that no one else can interfere. Happy mylotting.
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
24 Sep 10
It's none of the mother's business this time. She is a grown up woman now, where she can maturely think and analyze things and occurrences. We can say that the mother can still take part in this, but only in the form of advices, not entirely telling her who to marry and who not to. It's the guy the daughter will live with, not the mother. The mother may have done this due to a good bonding between them back when the ex and her daughter are still a pair, so we cannot simply erase that thought from the mother that he's the right guy.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi misalax, Yes, they have a good bonding with the ex and seems that what mother's want to happen, she still hopes that everything will turn out right. But you're right it is the girl to spend life with her partner to be so, what the mother can share is advice and guidance. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and happy mylotting.
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
i tried to be obedient all my life but when it comes to my decision of who will i marry, i guess its already my right. after all, I am the one who will spend the rest of my life with that person and not my parents.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi midnightbliss, We always been a good sibling to our parents in our younger years and for now they should understand that we have the right to decide for ourselves and they will sure understand it also. Thanks for commenting on htis post. Happy mylotting.
• United States
24 Sep 10
it definately depends on the situation... but in most cases the mom doesn't know the best chose for they're kids... the kids should find a connection on their own
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
hello patniesen, Parents'opinion still have to consider though not to the extent of interefering of who will to marry. Though sometimes there is the so-called mother's instinct when they feel that their child will be in danger. But in getting married, let's just consider their advice but the decision is still ours. thanks and happy mylotting.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
24 Sep 10
Only you know best about the man you choose to marry. You are the one to build your future with him. Your mother can give guidance and suggestions. i don't believe she is the one who knows best about who you should marry.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Hi sender, First thank you for dropping your lines here. Parents are always behind us to give us proper guidance but not to interferre in all aspects of life. We still have our free will to do decision especially if we are in a legal age to do so. Thanks and happy mylotting.
@20100925 (26)
24 Sep 10
Come on,no way!!!! U will live with the guy,it's u,not ur mother. And nobody can tell the future, were I her, I would follow my heart, just get married with the one i'd like being with,best wishes for them
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Thanks and yes, when it comes to marrying a person, Ithink it is the heart to always consider. Thanks for your response. Happy mylotting.
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
24 Sep 10
what?nah?oh my gah. oh no we don't need arranged marriage.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Yes, elmiko, arranged marriage is no good at all. Thanks for dropping your lines in this post. Happy mylotting.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
it's true that mothers know best..however in the case of your friend, it is another story. If she is after your friend's happiness, she wont get in the way. or if she thinks that your friend's current bf isnt good for her, she should not push your friend to marry her ex too. besides, if I am in that situation and I am old enough to decide for myself and I know what is right and wrong for me, I will not follow her...it is my happiness..my future..my life is at stake there, not hers...it is me who will walk in the aisle and promise before the people and before God to be with the man I love, the one I chose for MYSELF not for my mother...I hope your friend will be fine...
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
I agree with you, even if the mother saw something that could harm her child if she chose the current bf, still she should not push her to her ex. Only the person who will be in commitment has to decide what she thinks is best for their future. Thanks for these nice thoughts, bokal and happy mylotting.
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
Its not always true especially in matters that involves your heart, its her life and she would be the one who will be get tied to the person whom she will choose to. She has to consider though why her mother insist that she prefers the ex over her current boyfriend. Still she has to choose wisely not because its her mother's choice for her but because she has a reason why she choose the one she would be the rest of her life with. I know its hard choice, but her future is at stake, I hope she will make a very wise decision.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Yes, maybe in some aspects of our life, mothers know what is best for their children but not in everything, and we still hve our free will to decide, and you're right if it is our future at stake, we have to be wise. Thanks for sharing your commnets on this and happy mylotting.
@anurag3786 (6275)
• India
24 Sep 10
I think you are right because our parents seek a good life partner for us. I am a boy and I have many dreams about my life partner. So I think when the times come then my parents seeking a good girl for me for marrying. But even I will in love with someone then I think I will tell about this in my family. And I believe if girl will be good then my parents never reject her. Because she will be of my choice.
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
Well, nice to know someone as you, very respectable and always consider parents'concern. People really varies in opinion and views. Thanks for sharing your views in this post. Happy mylotting.