Mother too controlling!

@o2bnocn (2896)
United States
September 24, 2010 12:05pm CST
I have started to date a guy that I have known for a very long time. I have known him since high school, I actually know him from high school. I have never told my mother about him even though we used to date in high school. We didn't split up on purpose, things just got in the way. The other day I thought he was picking me up and didn't. He had to work so he wasn't able to pick me up. When my sister is sick or ends up staying home I watch her since I don't work. One day she stayed home because she wouldn't get out of bed. It was the next day that my boyfriend was supposed to pick me up. So I asked my mom if my sister was going to school the next day because I was going over to a friends. I am sleeping that night when my mother comes into my room and she asks me a bunch of questions! She asks me who this person is, where they live, their number, where they live, how I know this person and etc. I answer most of these questions then in the morning before she leaves to go to work she asks me if I me this person online. I answer no because I did not. She said that meeting someone online was dangerous and I understand that. Although she seems to be dating online and meeting a few guys online and meeting them in person. She also seemed to have an attitude and be mad when she came into my room. I don't understand why she has to know all this information and why she has to be mad about this. I barely ever leave the house and it makes me mad when I finally do make plans that she has to be mad about it. It is hard enough having a boyfriend that is busy and we barely ever get to see each other. It doesn't make it easier for me having a mother who asks me a million questions and gets mad. I am 22 years old which is old enough to have a boyfriend. I am even old enough to move out if I could afford it. Do you think this is right? What can I do about this situation? Her acting like this makes me feel bad but it is not right.
1 person likes this
6 responses
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
hmm yeah maybe you think your mother is annoying to you but it means she care to you just explain to your mother about your boyfriend,honest is a good way to break the condition eventough you dont know what will happen after you explain all about your boyfriend ,i hope she will let you to gettin in relationship
@o2bnocn (2896)
• United States
26 Sep 10
Thanks. I have talked to her and the situation is better.
• Indonesia
27 Sep 10
:) nice then,congrats to you that you can be honest to your mom anyway this is the first time i read a long discussion hahahaha because i dont want to read long discussion it makes me confused to read it LOL..
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
It is always normal for a mother to be too much controlling. But at your age, you're still young to move out. Wait for the situation to cool and talk to your mom, just give her an assurance that you're just having a boyfriend but you know the limitation and she has nothing to worry about, if that's the problem. Communication is just the best way to get rid of such problems. Happy mylotting.
@o2bnocn (2896)
• United States
26 Sep 10
You are right. Communication is the solution in this situation. I talked to her about it and it seemed to help more than I even knew. I think she was shocked to hear that I was leaving to go to a guy's house because I am a little bit of a home body!
@appalo (33)
• United States
25 Sep 10
Have you acted like an adult or gave your mom any reason to doubt you. Maybe she gets mad because she feels you are not totally honest with her. Why don't you have a job? As long as you are living under her roof, she feels her rules apply. I would either get a job or if you haven't yet go to school and learn a trade and move out. She is your mom and will always love you. Appreciate her before it is too late.
@o2bnocn (2896)
• United States
25 Sep 10
I don't have a job because I am a full time college student!
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
25 Sep 10
You are old enough to make your own decisions that is true but as a mother part of me appreciates where your mum is coming from. My daughter is only eight so I am still justified to walk her everywhere and wanting to know her every move! I know that when she will be an adult it won’t stop me worrying about her but I am going to have let go and trust that she will make the right decisions. It sounds like your mother is finding that very tough too! You will have to speak to her about this and reassure her that she has brought you up as a sensible, responsible and trustworthy young lady and she need not worry so much!
@o2bnocn (2896)
• United States
26 Sep 10
I understand. I have talked to her about the situation and told her I would be sure to text or call her when I am leaving to go to his house. I will be sure to take my cell phone so that she can call and text me to be sure I am alright. I guess it is harder for her with me since I am the oldest. I think it is hard for her to let go of me more than my other sisters. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Italy
24 Sep 10
I am exactly your age, and yes, I think you definitely are old enough to have a boyfriend! I must say I recognize in your mother's attitude many of my father's behaviors. It looks like they're just worried about us, maybe you spend so much time on the net like me, and she may fear you got to know someone online and got convinced on meeting him. I think the best thing to do in this case is tell your mother something about this guy, the fact that he was in high school with you and that he's already working, that's why you can't meet up whenever you want. I'm sure she will understand and calm down. Even if we're old enough, in their eyes we'll be forever their little princesses. :)
@o2bnocn (2896)
• United States
25 Sep 10
Yes yesterday I told my mother that I know him from high school. I told him that I don't know what days I will be going over to his house because he works a lot. It seemed to help a lot. She is much calmer about the situation. I told my mother that I would call or text her whenever I go over to his house. So that she will know where I am and when I am leaving. I have a cell phone so she can call or text me anytime. Glad you understand.
• Philippines
25 Sep 10
for me it is right that mother so controlling,because i experience that my mother control me.but if you better realize you see at the end that your mother is right to control,because for your good only.