Frustrated Exes

@misalax (307)
Ireland
September 26, 2010 1:51am CST
I broke up with my ex boyfriend months ago, and I was completely over the relationship, but he isn't. He kept on trying to contact me via phone and mail, giving me wall of texts of how he loves me so much and how much he wants me back, but I just don't feel any love for him anymore. I was feeling sad that he became like that and I've thought of removing all connections from him to help him recover fast, but I was not able to do so until now since I was trying to monitor him if he's fine already. So now I got a new boyfriend, who I love so much, and everyone found out, including him. So last night he was trying to talk to me, more frustrated than ever, and he was accusing me of cheating before and just playing with his feelings, which I didn't do because I don't go to unserious relationships. Then he told me lastly that he's totally removing me from his life, I felt relieved that he's trying to move on, but at the same time I felt bad for he was thinking the wrong things about me. What are your thoughts on this ?
2 people like this
9 responses
@SinRealm (559)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
bonds are really hard to break unless one has another to hold to. I myself am having a problem with my girlfriend and I know that I deserve better. But still I hold on. Stupid, but I guess that is part of being human. Just let him be, its a part of life, he'll get over you sooner or later.
1 person likes this
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
26 Sep 10
I am just hoping for things to get better now. Would take a while but we would get there soon.
@SinRealm (559)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
True. Well, better now worry about this now. It is mostly his problem anyway.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
26 Sep 10
Hi Misalax, You sound an awful lot like my daughter. She broke up with her longtime boyfriend several months ago. She broke up with him because he was very verbally abusive and drank non-stop, rarely held a job and was just an all around jerk most of the time. They had been together for such a long time and broken up and got back together many times over. She gave him so many chances to work things out. My daughter is a very kind and sweet girl. After they broke up this last time, he bugged her and bugged her until she finally said she would try to work things out with him. She agreed to date him but not move back in with him. About a week into it, he got drunk and slept with his best friends girlfriend. Well, she found out about it and that was the final straw for her. That was almost a year ago and still he calls and bugs her to get back with him and cries that he can't go on without her etc etc. It makes her feel just horrible. She has moved on and has a new boyfriend which really really bothers him. I remind her of all the times that he told her that she would never find anyone else. Still she feels bad for him. Why? I have no idea. I don't know your whole story but I'm sure that you have nothing to feel guilty about and you really should not worry what your ex thinks of you. Obviously what he says and what he really feels are two different things. If he honestly felt that way about you then why would he want you back? He is just angry that you have moved on and he hasn't. Don't let him get to you!
1 person likes this
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
26 Sep 10
Thank you for sharing that, I guess I also share a fault on this because I have been a very tolerating girlfriend. We lasted for years with always me being under and just giving it all, probably another reason why he has so gotten into it.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
27 Sep 10
He isn't used to you standing up for yourself and meaning it. It is not your fault. We all have limits.
1 person likes this
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
misalax, you should understand his feelings. maybe he loves you that much to feel that way. anyway, no offense but some of the blame is yours. You should have made it clear to him that its completely over when he tried to contact you. maybe he was still hoping because he still see hope in you. Don't worry, these thing do pass in the long run when the two of you are ready to forgive each other. just try to get on with your life without checking on him so you wont have to feel guilty about anything.
1 person likes this
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
26 Sep 10
Well I did clarify to him that it's over but he didn't seem to care. And yeah time will tell this time. Hopefully everything goes fine now.
1 person likes this
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
26 Sep 10
Hi, Sad to hear that your current boyfriend lost trust in you. Try to have a good chat with him and convince him that how much you love him and why he has to accuse you for cheating on him which you did not do it. You have to explain to him to get the matter solved and don't dragging on this matter for long. Since you love him so much, try to express your love to him in the right way. Spending more time with him is another way to convince your love to him. And about your ex,just forget him and start over again with your new life.
1 person likes this
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
If you talked to him already then there's no need to feel bad about yourself about all of these things. I mean, he needs to move and obviously he hasnt. I do hope he will be able to move on.
1 person likes this
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 10
"Move on, dear." It probably sounds cruel, but the last story is over for you. So, please go on and continue your life with your new boyfriend. You said that you loved him so much, so do your best for him. Although, we also have to understand and learn from our last story. Your ex-boyfriend did that because at that time it was still difficult for him to accept the reality, and he did everything he could to make you back, even saying things that would make you feel guilty. But, everybody has his or her own responsibility toward life, so do not worry. Time will heal him eventually. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
26 Sep 10
I still don't understand this.... SO, now u love ur new boy friend very much...But u didn't love ur ex like that?? If this is true, then u have played with his feelings.. If u had loved him much, u would not have left him in the first case..U should have tried to talk in between and come over the problem, but u left him and spying on him whether he has come over the feelings which he had for u.. So, my question, if ur new boyfriend whom u love so much leaves u what will u do? The answer is u will find another boy friend and love him so much !! So, this discussion is meaningless....Because it has been a hobby for all girls to play with some boy in the beginning and tell that he is everything and tell that love is beautiful and after sometime without having any reasons broke up with the first boy and finds another..Yes this is also spreading throughout the metro inmy place.. But this is not good!!! What was the reason for moving out of your first boy friend?
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
26 Sep 10
We've talked a lot about our problems, and we tried, it still didn't work out. Well, I do have my reasons. First off, distance. I moved to another country now for school purposes. I know people would say that you need to be strong for long distance relationships and I tried, but here comes the second. He has been lying a lot and there came a point where I found out that he was going out with some other girl, and hell you'd know how I'd feel after all my effort. So when he said all those things to me after the break up, how should I believe his sincerity? I'm sure he was going out with another, if only phone calls were recorded and photos were saved. Also to answer your question, if he does leave me, I won't 'look' for a new guy. It just comes you know, I'm not desparate for a partner, and I can live off without one.
1 person likes this
• Kolkata, India
26 Sep 10
friend if u decided to leave him then it is better don't think about him.and about his thinking.this will be better for u.cause as much you think about him and his thinking it is possible that you can make something wrong about him or about yourself.this can hurt you and make you week.so it's better don't think about the past.
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
26 Sep 10
Okay, I'd definitely do that. Thanks :)
@mspitot (3833)
• Philippines
26 Sep 10
Maybe that's one way he can move on...