raising tomb stones

@savypat (20246)
United States
September 26, 2010 1:58pm CST
My Hubby has a project to raise his grandfather and father's tomb stones in a cemetary in Texas. He has never been there and I don't thing he'll ever go there, nor will the rest of our family, but he has promised money for this. He forgot to tell me, so now I have to find extra to send to the contractor to do this job. First would you bother with tomb stones? Especially ones you'll never see? Next would you agree to pay without discussing it with the bill payer/ wife? Do you think I'm upset? You Bet.
4 responses
@LaurenInLA (2272)
• United States
26 Sep 10
First of all, I would be quite angry if my spouse spent money without discussing it with me. It's nto a question of whether or not you are the bill payer IMI, the more important thing is that you are his wife and he doesn't ahve any right to spend shared assets without discussing it with you. Now on to the question of raising the tombstones. I really don't see the point. His father and grandfather were buried where they wanted to be buried and I consider moving the tombstones and/or their graves as disrespectful to their wishes.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
1 Oct 10
When stones are layed on the ground they slowly sink into the ground and will disapear is not raised once in a while, this doesn not involve changing the location of the stone but just lifting it up. Sorry for any confusion here. You got the main point, joint funds spend without the knowledge of both parties.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
29 Sep 10
I can completely see your point here. In addition to that, I don't think that I would actually bother with a tombstone that there would never be anyone that would go and see them. I know that everyone in my family has tombstones, but there are also members of our family that go and "visit" with our loved ones on a regular basis. In our situation I think that we would be lost if there weren't gravestones, but I don't think that this is true for everyone.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Sep 10
I can understand the idea of tombstones being important to him, and not to you. They're not that important to me either. But the big issue is that he didn't include you in an expensive decision and you have every right to be upset.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (102534)
• United States
26 Sep 10
I might agree to help with paying for the project, but before I committed any money you had better believe I would discuss this with my partner. We would decide how much we could afford and how we were going to make it fit the budget. It gets frustrating. Even if I discuss something with hubby he forgets, says he did not hear me, and often does just what he wants to when he wants to anyway. I do, however, have these discussions about money with him.