raising tomb stones

First of all, I would be quite angry if my spouse spent money without discussing it with me. It's nto a question of whether or not you are the bill payer IMI, the more important thing is that you are his wife and he doesn't ahve any right to spend shared assets without discussing it with you. Now on to the question of raising the tombstones. I really don't see the point. His father and grandfather were buried where they wanted to be buried and I consider moving the tombstones and/or their graves as disrespectful to their wishes.

I can completely see your point here. In addition to that, I don't think that I would actually bother with a tombstone that there would never be anyone that would go and see them. I know that everyone in my family has tombstones, but there are also members of our family that go and "visit" with our loved ones on a regular basis. In our situation I think that we would be lost if there weren't gravestones, but I don't think that this is true for everyone.

I might agree to help with paying for the project, but before I committed any money you had better believe I would discuss this with my partner. We would decide how much we could afford and how we were going to make it fit the budget. It gets frustrating. Even if I discuss something with hubby he forgets, says he did not hear me, and often does just what he wants to when he wants to anyway. I do, however, have these discussions about money with him.

I can understand the idea of tombstones being important to him, and not to you. They're not that important to me either. But the big issue is that he didn't include you in an expensive decision and you have every right to be upset.