A delusional stalker.....

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
October 2, 2010 9:14pm CST
... have you ever had someone who might be a relative of someone you actually know, or a friend (or supposed friend) of someone you actually know... but this person believes they not only KNOW YOU, they imagine themselves to be in a relationship of some sort with YOU? Anybody have any tips for what to do about a person like this? For the nature of this discussion, it's hypothetical. I won't 'detail' within the thread. Just looking for some advice if you've been there.
2 people like this
8 responses
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Oct 10
oh yes I was twenty he had been a patient and I had cared for him,he was nineteen and his dad was rich,he was spoiled. any way he maintained that we had something going but it was not so, I just was kind to him as I was to any of my patients nothing more. He went home but would call the hospital every day and want to talk to me, this did not go over well with the switch board,he sent flowers to me at the hospital, sent gifts which I gave to patients, finally in a desperate attemp;t to get him to understand he was not my boy friend I agreed to meet him for dinner,. what a terrible idea. He proposed with expensive ring set and all and I had to turn himn down,.I did not love him nor did I really know him. He exploded and came around, grabbed me by the throat and almost strangled me before two big waiter s managed to get his hands off me and phone the police.His father sent him to an Aunt back in the new England states somewhere. I later learned that he was in prison for nearly killing another young woman who refused his advance. so run do not walk away from a stalker and go get a restriction order against the stalker. do not p;lay up; to him at all ever as they are really dangerous.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
Hi, hatley. That was really scary but to your advantage, you agreed to meet him in a public place instead of a secluded one. Very smart plan. But I admire how you show much courage in facing him. If I were on your shoes that time, I would have fainted out fear.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
That is so sad, i didn't expect you had such experience Hatley. i guess he was really a PSYCHOTIC one for not getting what he wanted. i just can't believe some guys are like that, but that's what happens when men can be obsessive. I feel no Pity to him as he didn't change at all. too bad, he can't force any one with his money and riches. i wish i was rich, i wouldn't spend it for force it on a girl. but it's a way to have friends at least
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
3 Oct 10
WHY are people like this.... it makes me wonder when they snap, or if it's like hardwired in their personality at birth. I also know that we can't control other people's reactions to US or what they think, but at the same time, there is something wrong with a person who doesn't know you but imagines they do - enough to build something out of nothing lol. The person is not local...I'm sure he wishes he was lol.
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
Hi, mommy boo. It happened to my bestfriend where this guy during our college was really into here. He spread some news that they were together but the truth was my bestfriend didn't know him at all. She was also surprised that the guy happened to know where she lives and her cellphone number which really freaked her out. The guy kept calling her every night. Sending her flowers. Sometimes waits in her classroom. It was really scary. We asked help from our guy friends and they talked to that stalker-guy. Good thing he eventually stopped but we never stopped of being cautious. Even if she and I leave in the opposite directions, sometimes, I just go with her until she gets home or another friend of ours will accompany her just to make sure.
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
I'm sorry for the double post. My connection sort of hanged and I just reload it. And it posted twice. Hope I'm forgiven.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
2 Mar 11
Hi. mommyboo. The only thing that you can do with this person is to, assure them clearly that there is nothing and will never be anything between the two of you. Ignore them, and let them look like a fool. If they decide to get nasty about it, then you can slap them with a court summons that details an Order of Protection against them too.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
12 Oct 10
There is a friend of my mom's over on Multiply who watches my posts and replies back sometimes. She often mistakes me for my sister. I just remind her who I am and ignore the rest...
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Oct 10
I've never been in a situation like what you are talking about, so I'm really not in a position be able to offer you any kind of advice on the situtaion. I do know that when I was younger I had a stalker that had been my ex-boyfriend and the only thing that I could do that would make him leave me alone was to file a complaint on him for harassing communications and also an EPO because he was threatening both myself and my family.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
4 Oct 10
that's serious. I had that happen to me a few years back. this guy who was a friend of a friend just knew that he and I were in some kind of relationship. we hung out one time. Nothing every happened we just hung out and talked. The next few times i saw him around town he was acting as if we were in a relationship. he followed me around. he would show up at my house. i was getting scared. luckly the friend that had introduced us was able to talk to him.. rather threathen him to stay the heck away from me. it worked thank goodness
@jet2r0cks (193)
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
I've had a similar experience a few years ago. I met this guy and I thought he was nice so I befriended him. I found out a few months after we met that he liked me. I rejected him politely - told him I have no feelings for him and he said it was okay, but after that he got really weird. He started following me around, taking pictures and videos of me in secret, etc. Because of that I decided to avoid him, but this only got worse. He would send me messages all the time, asking me how I felt about him. No matter how many times I would tell him that I have no feelings for him (I would tell him nicely though), he wouldn't stop. He started bothering my friends as well, constantly asking for their advice, trying to get them to set up a meeting with me and him. It was really troublesome. They said it'll only get worse if I keep being nice to him so I really had to be mean. I told him I don't want him in my life anymore and I never talked to him since. A friend told me that he was at an event I went to once, but he was observing from afar. I didn't see him that day and I hope I'll never will.
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
Hi, mommy boo. It happened to my bestfriend where this guy during our college was really into here. He spread some news that they were together but the truth was my bestfriend didn't know him at all. She was also surprised that the guy happened to know where she lives and her cellphone number which really freaked her out. The guy kept calling her every night. Sending her flowers. Sometimes waits in her classroom. It was really scary. We asked help from our guy friends and they talked to that stalker-guy. Good thing he eventually stopped but we never stopped of being cautious. Even if she and I leave in the opposite directions, sometimes, I just go with her until she gets home or another friend of ours will accompany her just to make sure.