Bullying is got to stop! What is the world coming to???

@dloveli (4369)
United States
October 4, 2010 6:55am CST
A few weeks ago the news did a story on a father who was arrested because he boarded his daughter's school bus and told the children dont mess with his kid or else. In different language but that was his point. Come to find out the little girl had mild CP and the boys were poking her with pencils, spitting in her hair, calling her names, you name it. She finally told her parents and her father lost it. He was then arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and several other charges. He could face jail time. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? My older daughter was bullied. Because she was taller than the other kids they would bully her as to show they are tough because even the biggest kid was scared of them. I went thru hell. I wanted to literally fight the parents. I was so upset. We would tell my baby girl to hit them back. She would look at me and say " BUT MOM, I dont want to hit or hurt people. WHY do I have to?" She's absolutely right. It ended up that she left school. Now she is in process of getting her GED but IM PISSED!. She missed out on graduation, all the friendships she could've made. How dare these parents allow their child to pick on, belittle or hit another child. As parents we are supposed to teach our child how to deal with situations in a calm, civilized manner. So many children go to school everyday scared to death. My younger daughter is a firecracker! She gets along with everyone. She isnt afraid of conflict. I must say she has never had one. I think with my other daughter they knew she wouldnt hit them back and they fed on it. I, myself, have been a victim of bullying. I remember the nervous stomach ache I would have thinking about going to school the next day. Finally my friends said if you dont fight back we'll kick your butt ourselves. Low and behold I kicked the snot out of her. From that day on, I have never been bullied again. Sometimes an eye for an eye is the only way. What's your view on the situation?
6 people like this
20 responses
@Keepee (67)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Bullying is terrible. I was bullied myself by a cousin until I finally slapped the beegeezus out of her one day. She quit messing with me, I promise you that! I agree with your daughter though, kids should not be driven to violence to stop people picking on them! Unfortunately it's not just kids that deal with bullying either. I think it's even worse now than when I was younger. Kids now can be bullied via facebook, private attack websites, email, text, youtube, etc as well as at school! There is literally no safe time for them anymore. I read a book once, "Letters to a Bullied Girl". It really opened my eyes to bullying. I think it should be required reading in school. If you have to, have the teachers sit down and READ it to the kids. I know one thing- something has to give. Too many kids are out there killing themselves because they can't catch a break from ridicule and hatred. In the case of the man who got on the bus in defense of his daughter, my question is- where was the school? Why did the bus driver not put a stop to it, why did the bus driver not tell school administrators? Why was this not stopped before it ever escalated to this point?!
2 people like this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Keepee I myself was bullied so I know exactly what it feels like. You did the right thing. Im sorry to say that slapping the beegeezus out of her was what it took. If you hadnt done that you'd still be going thru it. Now I am a mom myself but still people dont mess with me because I let them know right from the start that if you do Im going to give it right back ten fold. Dont let anyone talk to you, look at you, act to you anyway they want. If you do then you're opening yourself up to bullying.Bullies are cowards. Who have to show off because thats the only way they can get people to notice them. As to the question you asked regarding the bus drivers stopping the incident mentioned in my discussion, the bus driver couldnt care less about those kids. Its just a paycheck. I dont think I could ignore it but I dont know if I blame him. They pay them crap. Why should they cause themselves any kind of hassles for minimal pay. dl
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
10 Oct 10
If I drove a bus - even for nothing, even just ONCE, if any of the kids were acting out or up on the bus, I'd send a warning home with them that they'd be kicked off for a week if they didn't behave!! If they did it again - well, the school transportation dept does not HAVE to provide bus service to insolent rudely behaving children. It is a privelage to ride a bus and it is a service to parents who either live on the far end of the district boundaries, or they both work and leave before school starts. Anyway, they would likely be tossed off the bus in short order. I would probably try making them sit up front while the girl sat near the back, separate them first, see if it helped. If it didn't, then they'd have to find an alternate way to get to school. Tough.
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
4 Oct 10
When I saw this story it really made me think. It shows how screwed up people get in their thinking these days for them to arrest the Father. This is what I know, and what every bully should know, that if you mess with another child, and do it consistently, you should expect that kids parents to come at you like a raging bull, and they have every right to do that. If the bully can hide behind his parents with no consequences, then the parents are the worst offenders. djbtol
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
10 Oct 10
I think one of the biggest problems is the bully's parents - who either TAUGHT their kid to act that way, or don't CARE that their kid acts that way. This is why kids who instigate things get in trouble at my house, not necessarily the one who 'hit back' for example. And yeah, you better NOT mess with my kid or my friend's kids or you deal with me, and I'm very nice, unless you're on my BAD SIDE.
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
11 Oct 10
Yes, it ties into some of the most basic things we try to teach children: be kind to others, respect others, treat others as you would like them to treat you. Children do not need insturction in doing wrong. It comes naturally. But if they get away with wrong a few times, then it is easy to keep it up. If you want a point of comparison from the business world, companies now have zero-tolerance policies about certain policy violations. Screw up once and you are on the street. Apply that to the school yard bully and it looks like this - first time a bully is caught tie him to a tree and whip him within inches of his life. Is not zero tolerance fun?
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
My grade 2 son is so small at his age. About a month and a half after the school days begin, we were confident that he's just alright in school. He always bring his snacks aside from his pocket money and we thought that he's the one who finishes his foods. We never thought that he's been bullied all the while because he's so small. His foods were eaten by his two classmates and he even gave them money! We only knew this one time when he asked something hot for his lunch. So, I came to school before his recess time and I saw everything, they pulled my son towards the mini store within the school area, near their room. They didn't know that I was there. So, I shouted without hesitation and I scolded them. I didn't get hold of my tongue because of what I saw. I went to the principal's office after that incident and complained about the two boys. I requested for a transfer of my son's section afterwards. I cannot let those bullies control my son again. I am considering of his school transfer next year. Bullying in school or even outside the school must be stopped.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Oct 10
Ugh, that's terrible! My daughter is kind and she hates to see people without a snack, so a few times I had found out that at preschool she gave away all her snacks to her friends who didn't have one... which meant she was hungry. I told her that while I'm proud of her for helping because nobody should go hungry, she should never give away EVERYTHING she has. I don't mind if she shares her snacks but she has to make sure she has enough snack for herself too. If I found out someone was taking her lunch I'd head right down to the school and deal with it myself. I'd also have something to say to the kids involved and their parents, because each child's parents should care enough to either pack a lunch and snack for their child, or provide them lunch money for lunch and a snack at school. As I am not their childrens' parent, it is not MY business to provide lunch or snack for their children, and it is not healthy or safe for them to send their kids away a whole day with nothing to eat. This situation is something that shouldn't even be happening!
@GardenGerty (98215)
• United States
4 Oct 10
I was bullied because I was too shy, and I understand. I learned to act like I was brave and in control and some of it stopped. My son, as early as third grade, was picked on by GIRLS no less. He was the tallest kid and was very quiet, made a good target. I offered to go to the teacher, and he said, "Mom, it is my problem." We spent a four hour trip discussing the things he could say back that would give him a strong position without getting him in trouble. I guess it got resolved, he did not mention it after that. My daughter had one bullying incident. I got ahold of the other girl's mother and just told her what was going on. The girl who was bullying was made to call my daughter to apologize. I was not home, so my daughter did not answer the phone. You could hear the mom in the background yelling at and swearing at the girl, and in the end, my daughter ended up saying "Mom, you know I really feel sorry for her. Listen to her Mom!!" Samantha got her compassion reinforced that day.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I can understand some circumstances which can be responsible for causing people to act out around others, to bully, to hurt others because of how they were hurt, but that does not make it right. It can explain away some of their bad behavior but they still should not be allowed to continue the bad behavior unchecked without repercussions. For instance, if you get turned down constantly - to hang out, be involved in certain activities, it is not okay to just randomly attack the next person who walks by and make their life a living hell because 5 other people didn't want to hang out with you, know what I mean? Not only will it make no sense to that person, but it's misplaced aggression. I mean I feel BAD when finding out that's the case, but I still have never appreciated being the recipient of 'the last straw' so to speak.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
4 Oct 10
Bullying is just not about children. Adults are just as guilty of this. We need to find ways to express how we feel about a situation without it turning to some form of bullying.
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
4 Oct 10
Im sorry sender. You are absolutely right. Bullying is not age specific. Actually adults are worse. Because they should know better. What kind of person picks on another. Its not always the case but I would love to see how these people were raised. Some parents do all they can and their children are just idiots. No matter how old you are if you bully YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! thanks again for adding that very important fact. Happy MyLotting dl
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
hi dlpveli I agree and p eople who pooh pooh their kids who come to them for help a nd all they do is tell them to fight back. the kids should not have to fight the d amned bullies, the bullies parents have got to ve held responsible for their children's actions.Also the teachers and administrators have to fight this and not allow it to go on and on.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Oct 10
typo alert parents have got to be held resonsible for their children's actions.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Parents are responsible for teaching their children respect, understanding, and overall decency. they dont have to do the bullying but they dont have to watch it or ignore it either. We need to teach our children that its okay to help or to stop someone from hurting another. Its not ratting as the kids put it. If you sit by and do nothing you're just as guilty. Shame on all parents who chalk it up to "Kids Stuff". Happy MyLotting dl
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
7 Oct 10
Well, a lot of bullying comes from the parents themselves, I've come to learn in the last several months. That said, my husband is one of those people that tells our children that it isn't nice to hit other people. However, he also does tell them that if someone starts fighting with you then you have no choice but to hit them back. I've been lucky that it hasn't come to that yet with our daughter because she is the smartest in her grade and also the best artist (per the school's art teacher). I know that it is coming that she is bullied and I'm hoping to nip it in the butt by getting her into a school where more of the students are like her.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Oct 10
Unfortunately D I have been in the exact same position as you are now. My daughter was bullied terrible. She came home one day with an Addidas footprint on the side of her fact. I went to the school. They said she antagonized. when they finally realized they were just picking on her just because, It was too late. My daughter was a broken child. I fixed that I took her out of the school only to have it happen again. I am a fighter and so is her dad. So it was simple for me I would've kicked there butts all over but my baby didnt like violence. She saw her dad be mean to me so it wasnt something she wanted to carry on. Bullying is WRONG! I dont care if the bullies get bullied, are trying to fit in or what. ITS WRONG! My daughter ended up quitting school. Those kids took from my daughter things that she can never get back. Memories she'll never have. How unfair. Dont let your daughter go thru the same. Stop it before it starts. If there is a school for gifted kids and she wants to do it, encourage her. Let her know we are rooting for her. As long as she knows she's good and has you by her side, she should be ok. I dont agree with violence. But sometimes its the only answer. Perfect her right hook just in case. denise.
@onlywan (182)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Bullying should definitely be stop. School officials should implement school rules, reprimand students who do the bullying, guide teachers on what should be done, and parents should teach their children the right values. This has got to stop.
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
5 Oct 10
I hate to say this but school officials arent what they used to be. Its all just for show. They start off implementing security checks and rules. In about a month you can be sure that no one is checking anything. Bullying starts at home. Most of the time. People think that just because they teach their kids right from wrong and watch them carefully that they couldnt possibly be a bully. They may not be the bully. They could be the ones that egg them on. If you or your child is involved in bullying of any kind, its wrong. Its hurtful. There are some parents that are bullies themselves. Like father like son they say. Its true what they say it takes a village to raise a child. dl
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
4 Oct 10
I think it is horrible. I can totally see the guys side. I have a son with CP and he cannot defend himself. If I found out he was being picked on and the school and bus driver did nothing. I would be going off on all of them. I may get charges pressed on me, but I sure would stir up things enough that something would be done. It is uncalled for, for a child to have to endure such things.
1 person likes this
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
I do agree that bullying is not just for children, we, adults also experience being bullied by people who have high regard about themselves, me too already experienced being bullied in the workplace with a person who is holding a top position in the company I worked with, shame on him because he is this person who has a high educational attainment and the thing we argued was so very cheap and useless. So the people who love to bully their friends or other people in their surroundings are the people who have so many unresolved issues about themselves that the slight and useless issue would be so very big deal to them. So the least we can do about these people is to teach them a lesson.
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
I have been bullied way back grade 5. the sad part is that i never got a chance to settle for it because my mom is a teacher, she will intervene, which would cause further humiliation on my part. I've been bullied, but not that much. Things started changing when i wENt into Third Year High and things went well. become better when in college. am glad i have gotten through those years. at least now i have a chance to make up for life.
1 person likes this
@jadchin (60)
• Mongolia
4 Oct 10
Kids have to fight for themselves. Not the parents.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Oct 10
But as a good parent you have to give your kids the tools to fight for themselves effectively, to advocate for themselves, to be assertive etc. YOu cannot just expect your kids to know this from birth, you have to teach them, through discussion and through example. You don't want them to be mean to others, you just want them to value themselves and know they are worth as much as any other human being on the planet in terms of opportunities, love, and that their time is also equally valuable as other people's. We each decide how other people will treat us... in the end.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
9 Oct 10
Well... I have dealt with bullies before but that has taught me to do whatever I can not to ever be in a position where I would be bullied lol. Now I pretty much operate under 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'. I don't let anybody talk down to me regardless of what you think you know, and if I didn't ask you for help or advice, get out of my face. As far as the bus, I would have blamed the bus driver and the transportation system in general. There is no reason kids should be bullied on a BUS provided by the SCHOOL for transporation. The bus driver and an aide if they have one IS responsible for the safety of the kids while they are riding the bus. The behavior of those boys is unacceptable, and they should have been thrown off the bus and told they could no longer use school provided transportation because of their behavior. If it ws occurring in class, then the teacher should have stopped it, and if it continued, the boys should have gotten detention, suspension, or been expelled. I am short, and I have always been short, and a lot of people thought it was 'cute' when I was a kid. Here I am, my friends tower over me, they wear size 10 clothing and size 3 shoes and I'm wearing size 8 clothing and size 1 shoes. Cute be damned, I was still 10 years old and people thought I was 7. It was very annoying. When I was younger I was more of a doormat though, and I allowed people to walk on me. It's been years now that I haven't, and life is a blast. My older kids have always been more of followers than leaders, the majority of the reasons they got in trouble was going along with friends who made bad decisions, or trying to impress friends by making bad decisions. My youngest is a leader, she does her own thing. She will compromise seamlessly with friends and for people she loves, but you better know your stuff if you're not. One of the reasons she got in trouble was refusing to do something in preschool and causing several other people to also refuse lol. I love her, she is just like me . She also stood up to a kid who was twice as big as she was to defend a friend of hers. The big kid took one look at my tiny daughter yelling at him and he ran away lol. Nope, we don't play that bully game. They should be scared of US.
@RawBill1 (8542)
• Gold Coast, Australia
5 Oct 10
I am glad to hear that you kicked the snot out of your bully! I got a laugh out of that. But seriously, sometimes that is the only way that these bullies seem to realise what they are doing is wrong. I too was bullied at school and have had to deal with my children being bullied as well. It is hard to deal with your kids being bullied as an adult as we now have the confidence to stand up for ourselves and our children, but we also must show some restraint. What this father did was what I have felt like doing in the past, but it is not the right way to go about it. We ended up moving my daughter out of her first school after she came home with bruising for nearly a year. We reported it and reported it repeatedly to both the teacher and the administration, but we were treated like we were idiots that were overreacting. When we moved school, she ended up hanging around with the same type of kids and it was looking like the problem was going to repeat. We told her to find some other friends and it was hard for her being the new kid halfway through a school year, but over time she gained in confidence and is now a very popular and confident young girl.
@syankee525 (6295)
• United States
5 Oct 10
i used to get bully as well through school up to 8th grade. i was told when i was younger by my parents motly my dad dont fight back and its should bother me, well my mom would tell me the samething fight back. dont take crap off anyone. then when i got to 8th grade i was bigger then they were, by high school it was pay back time. my daughter used to get bully as well she also have a mild case of cp and i would go to the school if that meant i had to go to work late i went late. but i also tought my daughter how to fight such as boxing, and i wanted her to take self depefance as well. to me a percetage of bully stem from parents who taught thier kids they are better then everyone else, and there are parnets dont know their kids are punks.i have met both. one day 5 boys got picking on my daughter well it ended up she knocked the living hell out of one, the school refuse to do anything so i called the police they ended up filing charges on the 5 boys. and the main boy father claimed kids always started a fight with his son, the cop told him it was his son and five of his friends picking on a girl who was smaller then them and he was made because his son who started the fight got his a$$ by a girl. then told us my daughter almost broke his jaw. whoop whoop i dont belive using fighting for everything but like i told her if she got to use it, then use it and do it fast and dirty, if it is a boy kick between his legs and when he comes down take out his thoat or nose
@celticeagle (117837)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Oct 10
Bullying is as old as the hills. I was bullied when I was in school. My grand daughter was also. I would hate to tell you why my daughter was bullied. Cowards and people who are angry it seems really seem to get something out of bullied. How that can be I don't know. Missing graduation is a big deal. That is so sad.
@haran97 (12)
• Canada
4 Oct 10
Bullying should stop so all the children in schools would be safe, and comfy in the environment they live in. Kids may not be able to sleep because they are thinking about whats going to happen in there life. They get hurt in these situations and teachers should keep an eye out for kids that are getting bullied in these kind of hurtful stuations. By Saharan
@doormouse (4619)
4 Oct 10
i've got 3 children and over the years i've had this problem aswell,my oldest was bullied in nursery school so i said to the teacher,you sort it or i will,it got sorted,my second oldest was bullied for a couple of years,i had a word with the parents that didn't work so i went to the headteacher at school,it got a bit better but her middle school days weren't very happy,my youngest has behaviour problems and where we used to live he got bullied alot,the parents did nothing,,that was part of the reason why we moved,,,i think parents should speak to the parents of the children involved or go speak to the school before taking action against the children themselves,i understand why he did what he did but at the end of the day they are just kids and may not understsand the full extent of what they are putting this poor child through
• United States
4 Oct 10
Bullying has gone to such great extremes today in this world. It use to be where bullying was just a bit of harassing and name calling. Now bullying has gone so far that children are being killed. As adults we have to take any form of bullying very serious not only does it emotionally scar a child their lives are in danger sometimes. So unless adults and school officials take these actions more serious it continues to persist. Really sad.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
4 Oct 10
well I dont think he should be charged with any thing IF he just said that. WOuld have thought it better to go to the schol or to the parents on this. WHen A kid is on a school bus I think then the school has the juridiction on what happens on the bus. My neices were poked with pins. think they finally fouht back . BUt my daughter also rode that bus with them and I didnt hear her ever say she got poked. I have been to los of school with something that has happened to my kids all gto ettled that way. I and this other mother went so much for awhile that the kids stopped telling us any thing lolololol I always had to sticj up for myself as no one else would.