girls: will you dump him?

Philippines
October 4, 2010 7:52am CST
If your bf says he can't speak to you because he only does 10 words per 2 hours that he sleep and he only had 6 hours of sleep last night and there's no cure for his illness, will you keep your relationship with him? because of the scarcity of words he can say, he's now socially incapable with worst consequences including a slight offense to your parents for he refuses to interact with your parents even his own. the bad thing is you love him. so what will be your decision?
2 people like this
5 responses
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
My first question would be: "Has he been always like that ever since?" If the answer is "yes" then you don't have a choice, you cannot change him or force him to do something he's not accustomed to overnight. If you loved him for being that way then it's up to you to decide if you'd like to continue or not. However, if it has just been recently that he only does 10words per 2hours then I'd say it's baloney! It's a poor excuse to hint to me that he doesn't want to talk or try to talk to me. He's just leading you on and you have better run to the hills than to be stuck with a person like that. Just take it easy and don't think too much. If you truly feel that he makes you happy (for whatever reason you might have or have created to do so) then go for it. Just don't expect for change soon. I remember my friend who has always complained about her boyfriend. She earns more than him and has a car. She drives him to his job and most of the times pays for their outings. It's not that he's taking advantage of her, but simply she has more achievements and education compared to him. The relationship has been going on for a while now and they even have plans of getting married. Then suddenly she came running to me complaining that things are not how she wants it to be. She want him to strive harder to have more income and such. Then after a while, she can't take it any longer and they decided to go on separate ways. A few months after, I just heard from her that they're back together and that she begged him to be with her again and has accepted him for who he is and can't live life without him. Now, that action just made her lose her right to complain about his underachievement and she can no longer complain about her paying for things and such. You see, there are always two sides of a coin. We do need to decide, but once we do decide, we must be sure that we're not in it for comfort only. Just for the thought that you have a boyfriend or are in a relationship. You must think that this guy would never change and if you can still accept him that way, then go for it. Otherwise, save yourself the trouble and just let him be. Good luck!
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
Oh really? If that's true her boyfriend must have gotten that illness I'm saying. He's for her though not what she expects him to be. I guess this type of a boyfriend is not only in one country but everywhere in the world. Your story is real life and that confirms their presence. The sad thing is women couldn't seem to agree of having these kind of guys. Well, if their relationship worked, congrats to them.
1 person likes this
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Laydee what you just said was great, I am alos planning to leave my boyfriend though we hve one kid. i felt that he is very irresponsible and he doent love our daugther. i am the one who provides all her needs because her father dont have a job yet and always witing for his friends to come with when his looking for a job. I got pissed on him especially I felt that his parents and family is more important than me and our baby. He have nothing, and I also the one who provides his needs all the time. i love him so I got patience on thet but he always leaves us for a vacation with his family. I really felt that he doesnt love us. His family also dont like us because they didnt even want to see our baby and doesnt come and visit us in the hospital when I gave birth. Now, I really decide that i will leave him, I do love him but I love my baby more.
1 person likes this
@Rhazelle (356)
• Canada
5 Oct 10
Ahah. Well crap, I was going to answer something like this and apparently the first comment I see here already answered it like I would want to. Great job. Yeah if he's always been that way then you've fallen in love with him already knowing this about him (I hope!).
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
Is he an anti social individual or is he avoiding to speak because he is hiding some thing? Say he refuses to talk and converse because he does not want things be spilled out? Is he the same person with others, say to his work mates or friends? If he is not, then some thing is wrong to him my friend. I cannot really make a comment on this because the situation is quite confusing.
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
Yes, an antisocial with a valid reason.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Hmmmmm! I think, there is no need for her to give up on him as long as they love each other. She has to understand him, but I am not saying that she has to tolerate that anti social attitude. Think of ways when her bf can be improved and become more expressive. Start with conversations between your friend and her bf. When she thinks that the guy is ready, then explore. Do not pressure him because that makes him more introvert. One step at a time.
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
comment helpful! i am shy now for only female respond the discussion. thanks ladies
@amoyube1980 (2233)
• Somalia
5 Oct 10
hehe!! pardon me but I just find the 10 words per 2 hours illnes pretty funny. I don't know whether that boyfriend is just being morose or funny or he's got some serious psychological problem. If he does, I'll probably stay with him if there is any reason to believe that he'd admit he has a problem, if not then there's no point sticking around who doesn't even realize there is a problem.
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
I appreciate your willingness to be patient and live by someone who can't live by himself because of his psychological problem. It isn't that simple to laugh when a person has a encumbering limitation such as not being able to speak everytime he wants. I am thinking of nurses who take care of soldiers right now based from what some responders shared. The nurses may complain but they could not escape their job but when the time comes that they have to, that's life.
• Somalia
6 Oct 10
It's quite different when it's your job to take care of people with disability or people that have gone through very traumatic experiences. Did this boyfriend undergo a similar experience?
@kodukodu84 (1576)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
Well I would always love being with someone who actually talks. But only 10 words per 2 hours, what if he says a very wrong thing that hurts you and the 10 words finished? hahahahaha...then he have to wait for another 2 hours to apologize but will that 10 words enough for him to explain? I would respect his decision but at the same time will think that, that is just pure selfish you know, then he should live by himself. honestly this is making me laugh lol....but I have to be honest here, ok let me put my opinion like this, if he knows how to use the opportunity of only being able to use 10 words per 2 hours only, lets say, he can use that to be funny, or romantic...then I may will put up with him if I really love him with all my heart. But if he use those 10 words per 2 hours just to mourn and complain, then yes, I will dump him :D because what if I was dying with a pain or something, maybe I got involve in an accident (at the time which he cannot talk because those 10 words already been used and the 2 hours hasn't over yet), then he will be a pure useless b*st*rd in this one lol :DDDD
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
true. you have a point that here or there you'll be hurt by his restricted capability. there will be times when youre tempted to find another man. he'd become boring as days pass by and you don't even deserve the cold treatment. maybe, he'd smooth things out with his humor or show his love through actions instead like flirting with you. he might be able to push his limits to prove that he cares, which is sweet, but then he has to recover from his effort by being a couch potato once in a while. as for the need to keep in touch, he can have as many words to say via text or email to your gladness but calling would prove to be a little disappointing with his broken speech and empty pauses. hehe, but if an accident happened to you he can be flexible i guess saying something like: Hello, help, accident, my girl. thank you. LOL
@bunnybon7 (35525)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Oct 10
well i say if you love him and hes good to you and he has no problems with you being social. no problem. be happy with him and just explain to people that hes a bit shy. i had one like that for almost 4 yrs. it worked fine. then for some reason, he came out of it. started being to social and ended up with another girlfriend on the side so, i broke with him. i guess i brought him out of his shell to well.
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
i wouldn't be surprised. that's america. men there have no trouble coming out their shell.