How to say goodbye...?!
By abish1987
@abish1987 (189)
Philippines
October 6, 2010 4:06am CST
I have my boyfriend and we're still 3 weeks in relationship. He's a good man and I don't see any bad side about him but I could no longer feel that I love him. I don't know how to break up with him because he's too good to me and I don't want to hurt him that much. Please give me advice on how to say goodbye.Thank you folks!
4 people like this
11 responses
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
I am wondering why you could no longer feel that you love him when you have only 3 weeks relationship? Besides, you cannot just fell out of love within 3 weeks time, unless you never fell in love 3 weeks ago. Or maybe you thought you love him then, bu actually you were just infatuated. It is very unusual because you should still be in love within 3 weeks and even more.There is something wrong I cannot figure out what is it. I apologize if my introduction is in the negative. Well, I cannot tolerate it. I cannot advise you either to say goodbye too soon when the only reason is that you could no longer feel the love. However, you can always do so and be honest to your bf. Tell me, did you have a relationship prior to this present relationship? Or is there something you did not mention in your discussion. It seems there is a missing facts or details I want to know.
1 person likes this
@abish1987 (189)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
Actually I've been into a relationship before this guy and I guess you're right. Somehow I haven't recover from our break ups with my Ex. It's like I just don't like him anymore and I'm no longer happy with him. I have this peculiar attitude wherein I won't stay longer in something if I could never feel happiness anymore.Isn't that bad?
1 person likes this
@bumblebee34 (190)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
hi abish.. i understand how you feel, yet i would agree to what maean said. try assessing yourself first if youreally want to quit yourrelationship with him. weight al the possibilities of being in and out of that relationship. once you are, and have really decided that you wanna wuit then tell him straight. for me, it would be irreasonable to stay in a relationship ou of pity and guilt. so you tl him, atleast he would know directly,. it would be nice to be frank about your feelings with him. probably you just said yes to him for the reason tha youwant to get even with your ex. i'll tell you, having a rebound will never be an answer.
about your ex, perhaps you are just too confident to say that you stil think of him knowing tha your boyfriend truly loves you. sometimes we dont see the worth of what we have til it's gone.
think of this, what if you are back with your ex, will you still be happy? are you sure he will be faithful and will love you like your boyfriend now?
for the mean time, try doing things together with your boyfriend, have some adventure together. backpacking to palawan or boracay would be great!
and lastly, try assessing yourself to be contented of what blessings you have. give gratitude and appreciate all that you possess. be thankful that your boyfriend loves you..
God bless aNd happy mylotting!c".)
1 person likes this
@princess8881 (1630)
• South Korea
6 Oct 10
Well if you really dont feel something now...you have to tell him immediately because the more you wait of having the good timing the more it will be painful for him.. theres always no good timing..becuase the message will still bring the same impact so just tell him directly..and that your not sorry its becuase of you and not becuase of him..
But REMEMBER sometimes we'll never know how someone or something is important to us.. till we lost them.. so just make sure your making the right decision..and that it will make you feel happy not regret it.. goodluck:)
@princess8881 (1630)
• South Korea
6 Oct 10
nothing is easy specially when you know your hurting someone but it has to be done...
@abish1987 (189)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
that's the other reason why it's really hard to say goodbye. Whta if you're wrong with the decision and the hurt is already done, the pain is already unbearable...I dont' want to hurt him but it seems that I'm already hurting him that way.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
I am honestly wondering if it was love in the first place? How could love be done in 3 weeks?
Anyway, perhaps you were just overwhelmed with having a relationship that's why you are with him. You never really gave your time to know him before accepting him, that's why now that you're together you just realized that it's not him you want.
It's sad really. Most important because the guy hasn't done anything wrong to deserve the hurt in the first place. However, prolonging the agony won't make him heal either. There's no easy way to break somebody's heart indeed.
I suggest that you talk to him privately. Ask him why he loves you. Further, give him a scenario, tell him in a story (make one if you want) about a person who wasn't really in love with the partner and yet doesn't want to hurt him. Then ask him, what would he do if he were in that situation? Then break it to him gently. Tell him that you're just being honest and you don't deserve him at all. He will try to fight for his love for you, but just tell him firmly that you would only be lying to yourself if you push through with the relationship.
Good luck!
@abish1987 (189)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
laydee you're so kind to give such advice. Yes I'll try to do that. I don't deserve on his kindness and love and I believe that the truth with set him free. So good luck for me!!!
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
7 Oct 10
Hi abish, even in serious relationships, feelings for each other is like a roller coaster ride especially for women.
Have you ever noticed how we tend to get cranky when we are ovulating or about to menstruate? That's because of the fluctuations in our hormones. Well that is just one of the reasons.
Three weeks into a relationship is definitely within adjustment period.
Just an advice. Give it time.
Relationship is about two people. Try asking yourself if you have given your best on your end rather than to keep counting on all the errors of the other.
Sometimes we only appreciate a person when they're gone.
@thirdylopez (175)
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
Just be honest 'coz being with him and not being in love with him is just going to hurt him in the long run...
My best guess is that you became a couple too soon and the magic is gone...
@abish1987 (189)
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
yes that's make me realize that there are a lot of things to be done first before eveything turns to its worst
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
This is the hardest part I guess. I even just sent a simple text to one of my exes not because he will be hurt but because I know he wouldn't take it. If you don't love him anymore, you have to be true to yourself and to him. There is no way that he won't be hurt if he really loves you. But that is part of it that each of you has to bear. It is part of the learning process.
@abish1987 (189)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
This really added to my learning for the day! It's truly need for great courage to tell those words on the person who on the first place never ever let you cry.
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
Better start the relationship while it is still early.
At least, if he will know that you don't love him, then it will be easier for him to accept.
Do it the soonest.
@Ruby722 (796)
• China
7 Oct 10
Hi Abish,I have a good friend who is been through the same situation.
I mean three weeks it's too short,you might dont really who him.Why dont you give him a change,break up with someone it's really hurts people feeling,Please think it carefully,and give him sometime
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
6 Oct 10
abish, I wish there was any easy way out of this but there truly isn't outside of ending now and not much later. As feelings will continue to deepen on the other person end and it will then be much harder.
I have had several break ups and they have always ended badly for me, one thing for sure is that I remember one guy I dated and after one month, I though I cared him deeply and he then told me he was not ready for a relationship and ended things with me. Although I have never seen again after this I have to say that of all the relationships I have been in, he is the one that I can respect the most as he was so honest and did not opt to cheating perhaps so I guess what I am trying to say is that it will not be easy but you have to find a way to end it sooner than later and just hope the person can understand.
@paulbankonline (145)
• India
6 Oct 10
U should go and tell him all the things that you feel. I am quite sure that he will understand you because he is too good as you said. I know it is tough but don't make it more tough. Take my advice just forget him completely don't call him or keep any contact. Just avoid him. If you don't want to hurt him more.
@viennaEscatronD (69)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
..I can say goodbye if there's someone who left me. And when the times that my mom going to her works i'm always saying goodbye to her.
