Do you think you could make up with someone you had a major argument with?

Philippines
October 7, 2010 7:40am CST
Hi everyone! I just wanted to ask for everyone's opinion - do you think you can make up with someone you had a major argument with? And by major argument, I mean you really arguing with someone, totally losing respect for each other, calling each other harsh names and telling each other terrible things. Do you think you could make up with someone if you argued with him or her like that? I have two friends who had a really bad argument yesterday. Let's call them A and B ^_^; A said something that really offended B. A insisted that it was just a joke, but to B, it seemed real and hurt her feelings. From there, the argument started. They started saying really awful things to each other (really bad personal attacks __
4 people like this
24 responses
@lacieice (2060)
• United States
8 Oct 10
Yes, you can make up, but the relationship is forever damaged. It will never be the same. Once respect is lost, it never comes back in the same way. They may appear to forgive, but they will never really forget.
1 person likes this
8 Oct 10
I believe that it is posible to make up with someone you got into an argument or even a fight with. In relationships most the time if a couple gets into it they usually make up and it sometimes draws them closer to each otherm For example, if you and your partner get into a fight and break up, well if you manage to work it out, it makes both parties want the other person more than beforw, cause it shows that what's good could always go bad,you never know what could happen.
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
8 Oct 10
When a fight makes us think we might lose the one we love, it stirs up our longing for that person all the more. In the future we try to remember that a fight is not worth damaging the love relationship.
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
I agree with this. My boyfriend and I have gone through really bad arguments in the past, and during those times I would get scared that things would never be the same again, but we're still together now and our relationship is a lot stronger than it was before. I hope the same will happen to my friends, now that they've made up. Thank you for your response! :)
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
7 Oct 10
Yes, I do think I could make up after a fight like that, but it might take a little time. Partly depends on how long we had been friends. Partly depends on how well I can understand what the issues were. Hugely depends on whether I will do the smart thing and apologize and forgive. Maybe you can help them talk it out, forgive and reconcile. Life is too short to carry a grudge.
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
Actually, they haven't known each other for that long which is why I was worried that this fight would be the end of their friendship _
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
8 Oct 10
Making up quickly is good, especially if they were able to talk through their thoughts, feelings and emotions. Time will tell if instead they kind of both buried the issues. Sometimes burried emotions can rise to the top when provoked. djbtol
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
7 Oct 10
"Where there's a will, there is a way" someone said. People react differently to "jokes" o any kind. But there is always a way to make up with someone after a bad fight. Communication is the key. Everyone has to let the others know wher are the limits for everything and that the other should respect. Lots of communications, open communications. if one of you is afraid that the other may not take well what is said, than there is no point. Each one has to listen and agree or compromise to reach an agreement. Good luck!
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
Of course, communication is the key, well, proper communication. My two friends were communicating with each other the entire time but they weren't able to solve things because they didn't communicate well enough. Now that they have been able to talk properly, they were able to make up! Thank you very much for your response! :)
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
7 Oct 10
I think the only way people can make up is if BOTH parties admit to fault, BOTH parties apologize and if BOTH parties never bring it up (or do it) again. I don't think you should do anything; it's between them. You don't want it to turn into a 'taking sides' thing - then you could loose one or both of your friends!
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
Yup, reconciliation is impossible if neither of them admits their mistakes and apologizes to each other. I don't necessarily agree that I shouldn't have done anything for them though, cause it's not like I wouldn't have taken sides - I'd just support both of them without meddling too much. Thank you for your response! ^_^
• India
7 Oct 10
Its easy.. the friend A should be made remember B has done for him/her. and do same with B... and ask them to say sorry. if they are good person and have a easily meltable heart.. this is 110% gonna work.
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
That's true. Looking back at all they went through as friends helped them make up. They remembered why they were friends to begin with and all the good things they've done for each other, so now they're friends again! Thank you for your response! :)
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
if there is a lot of bashing, bad words said, and respect lost - i think that would be quite hard to put back together... too many pieces have shattered and imagine a broken glass at that... that for sure is wayy too hard to mend if that was both our hearts. But if love is present, i believe there could be a chance... though the relationship could be so tainted it will struggle a lot...
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
I agree - love does help! My two friends made up today. I guess they really cared for each other and didn't want to prolong their disagreement. Thank you for your response! :)
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Oct 10
Unfortunately when you throw away the respect and say things very hurtful then you can cause serious damage. If the relationship breaks, the wound will possibly never heal. To go that far means there was little care for the relationship on both sides anyway. As for you...stay out of it. Both parties will want and expect you to take sides and that just won't work.
• United States
9 Oct 10
If both Truly feel sorry for what they did and they Both apologize to each other and set the rules that not to " joke" the way A did , I think they can rebuild their friendship. But if one is willing and the other isn't , I think their friendship is over.All you can do is be there for both. They may like it that they don't see each other. if that's so then don't push for a makeup. Just be the best friend you can be to both.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
You know my friend. We do not ease all possibilities in conciliating with others that we have an argument or issues. Because a good diplomatic talk is a big things for people who are fighting each other...
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
7 Oct 10
I think it is possible to make up with someone that you had a huge falling out with. However, it is going to be something that, like with many things in life, is going to take time. If you consider something to be rather big, to the point where it gets quite frankly ugly, it is going to take some time for both people to get a clear head and to think things through in a logical manner. With time, every conflict can be resolved, at least hopefully. There are times where falling outs are just too painful. The worst case scenario is it gets to the point where you cannot even think of the person without getting mad. This is a shame and it is really sad all things considered. However some falling outs are just too painful. Therefore, it could be resolved, but there is an unfortunate chance that something like that could be resolved. Sad but unfortunately true.
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
Yes, it does take time :( I just hope it doesn't take too long. This isn't the first time it happened for me. 5 years ago, I had two friends who fought over a guy and up til now they still haven't made up. It makes me worry cause they were best friends and now it's like they don't know each other anymore :( It just seems like there's no hope of reconciliation for them. I hope the same thing won't happen to my two other friends who just fought :(
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
6 Nov 10
It's really not good saying bad things to each other because just like they say bad words are like knives it could leave wounds and eventually scars. However, sometimes no matter how hard we control we end up saying harsh words even to the people we love and care so much especially if we were really hurt or upset. For me, if the relationship is so strong and the two people really care for each other so much no matter what they could always make up. It happens even between two family members. No matter what, by the end of the day they just have the same bloodline. I sometimes end up saying harsh words to my Mom and even husband whenever we are having argument. However, once we realized it's not worth it we talk about it and apologize and then eventually our relationship is still as strong as before or even stronger. I hope your two friends would end up talking about what happened and forgiving each other. Have a nice day!
8 Oct 10
a should not have said something that would have caused so much heartache for b. Now it is more serious as they are both at it argueing. It will take another friend to calm them both down and hope that they can both get through this. Good luck.
• United States
27 Oct 10
You can make up with after fights, but you must want to make up for one and two you have to let it go i have found that is why people don't make up cause they want to hold on to the mistakes so let it go and try to make up put it in the past and keep moving that's all one can do.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Oct 10
Hi Jet, Sure it is possible. I think first they need to both cool down for a day or two and maybe even longer. Since A is the one that started the whole thing, she should be the one that makes the first move by appologizing to B. Depending on how open B is to resuming the friendship, it may or may not work.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
8 Oct 10
I read the other responeses and it seems they have already made up. That is good! I was going to say they probably would make up, but it might take some time, which it didn't. I also was going to say the same thing that someone else said. You should stay out of it, as you might be seen as taking sides.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 10
I think I will be able to, after some time. After a long time of not seeing each other, and have all the space to forget the argument. But if I happen to move on and forget him around that time, then yes I will make up just as a friend, but won't be as close as how it used to be. It really depends, people are different. Who knows if it might actually hurt me so bad that it is hard to forgive him after the argument and all the nasty thing he said.
@jennbart (1330)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
It will take time. For me, I do not easily forgive someone I had a major argument with. It would take years.. my closest friend way back in college who did something bad to me brought back my speaking terms with her after 5-6 years.
• Philippines
8 Oct 10
it is maybe possible for them to reconcile and patch things up if they are both willing for the reconciliation...because what had done was a very awful situation that they are calling each other harsh names... that could not be forgot easily... as a friend for the both of them maybe you can help by being the mediator between them...
@Karunvig (714)
• India
7 Oct 10
Depends what was the argument on... if it is related to sum other girl ir abt trust loyality thn it will be waste to talk to her as today she is doubting thn lateron may be it becomes her habit which will b a problem in life and if it is really a serious topic related to family matters n stuff then can b given a thought. Bt a spot can only be reduced not removed...