Do you think it's better to just keep things to yourself?

It's good that you have that type of attitude. I think it's better to keep things because it's rather personal and whatever we might say can be used against us in the future. I need to be like you more. It's really tough to be in this situation. I had wished I kept quiet more.

I know. I have learned it the wrong way. It's sad though that we regret things only after we've done them. But I'm now slowly recuperating from what I have done and I hope soon I would be more mature about things.

I know, but what to do now?

I do understand her really. But the way she just voiced out her objections, she sounded as if people don't deserve chances. Oh well, I know it was my fault. I'm sure she won't let this pass. But what can I do if I strong feel that he wants to make things better and is showing me that he's remorseful and determined to make this right? It's just like when a friend hurts you, then would like to make up for things. Should we just judge that it won't be successful before even letting that friend try?

The wrong thing I did with that situation was to tell it to people I thought were 'close' to me. The most wrong thing there is telling it to my aunt who was just there to get news from me to spread to all the relatives. Now I learned my lesson. As for that friend. I know she was someone I could trust and would be someone who would understand me. But my mistake there is that I went too emotional and cried to her a lot to the point of her hating the guy so much. Now that things are starting to be better between us, she is furious that I agreed to talk to him again. But what I'm sad about is the fact that she somehow told me that I'm brainless and stupid for doing so. I mean, is it right for her to demean my intelligence just because I still feel some hope for him? Whew. I am indeed sad for the way things have become between me and her. It's been like 3days since the incident happened and I never tried contacting her again. Not because I'm angry at her. But because I have never imagined that she'd react that way. I mean, yeah it's true that it might be a bad idea to give this fella another chance, but who's saying I'm giving him another chance? I was just allowing him to meet me in order for us to talk face-to-face and from there I would decide if things could move forward or not. He wasn't coming here to propose or something. Further, I did tell another close guy friend about it and he told me that he wouldn't want to meet that guy if he was in my shoes. But he didn't tell me I'm all stupid and such. He just explained my side and when I asked him if he'd never talk to me again if I did meet the guy, he simply said 'of course but I would really laugh at you if you cried once again because of him'. It wasn't insulting at all and he didn't make me feel that I wasn't capable of deciding for my own.

You were right when you said that with all the mix of views soon you'll get confused. That is how I feel. Some people would say it's okay, while others strongly go against what's on my mind. I usually end up more confused than ever. I know that regardless the advise, the decision will always be in my hands. I was just a bit taken aback when she was really furious when I said that I'm thinking of giving him (the ex) another shot. She even ended the call and turned off her cellphone. I thought that was pretty immature for a friend I have known for like decades now. I know she must feel rather irritated that I'm putting myself in the same cycle as it were before. However, shouldn't she at least give me the benefit of the doubt that I could make good decisions too?

Yeah, she did tell me that she doesn't want to tell me "I told you so" in the end. She also said that she doesn't want to hear me talk about that ex again because she knows that he's not good for me. I do understand her. But can't a person change? I mean, can't we give people space to grow up?