What if your husband say this...........?

Philippines
October 9, 2010 4:38am CST
How do you feel if your husband say this words to you? " I feel that my love for you decreasing into 40% level now.." Do you feel hurt or what can you say? I asked this things because it happened between us. One time he said this words to me just because he has the reason, and i admit that the fault was mine. He saw me having a chatmate and really I enjoy doing it but he misunderstood the situation. Yes I understand him. Now he begun to hate me.. and he said his love was now goes down and it was fading.... Now I feel hurt because he is my husband but i have nothing to do..but to accept.. Now friends how do you feel? pls share to me.. thanks and have a nice day to all!
5 people like this
12 responses
@piya84 (2591)
• India
10 Oct 10
he saw you have a chatmate?Were you having adult conversation or just a general chat?If it was a general how it is you fault?I Whatever he does an says sound like a manipulation trick to me. Answer of your question is yes i would feel bad if my husband says he dont love me same way as he sued to once but if he said there is some as stupid reason as this then i will be furious instead of sad.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
Yes he saw everything in my messages and chatting and including my private mails. You know I was really wrong about this matter and it was all my faults but the things good happens was I have been enjoy. Well no one will understand my feelings and emotions regarding this matter. Anyway thanks to your participation and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@piya84 (2591)
• India
10 Oct 10
People do fee attraction for someone else even though they are married.May be you both need to work on you marriage and bring back lost spark.So you wont need to wonder in netland for it.
1 person likes this
@Hvaniday1 (550)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
you make your husband jealous, huh? You naughty girl, it mean he love you very much and feel hurt of what you are doing right now. It is time for you stop doing. Oh...you have a very nice avatar. Cheer up!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
You got the other side of point friend and he got jealous to the max level and i hit his highest level of angry! But now we are okay and smooth sailing. Thanks to you friends..
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Oct 10
how nice when it is smooth sailing. Happy together!
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
For me I feel not good and the true love the both of you are near to break so sad but make the dislike to be like again to your husband.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
Yes it is really near to break and we are almost there when it was happened. But blessing in disguise we are now in good hand. We are now okay and no problem about the past coz we both move to positive action. So now we are happy! thanks to you and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
10 Oct 10
Hi Mods, If it were me and if I really loved my husband, I would take it to mean that I hurt him very deeply. If that chatmate ment nothing to me then I would tell my husband so and show him so by ending my chat-mate. I'm kind of old fashioned I guess but if I were to converse with a man on-line, I would let my husband know about it. There is nothing wrong with it at all if it is all innocent and you have nothing to hide. If it bothered my husband so much then out of respect, I'd not even have a chat-mate. My husband would be more important to me than anyone I would meet on line. I think the real problem here is that he found out and was taken by surprise maybe? For me, it would not be my husband talking on-line to another woman but the secrecy that would bother me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
Hello Sid556 thanks and i appreciate your comments and yes you are right and if ever be faithful and keep intact in relationship with husband is better than having an online friends or chat. Well I know I was wronged and I admit it. I hurt him so much that leads to disrespect in his honor. But in my part you know i've been happy enough to have this past life or memory that one time in my life i feel strange. In this case it was so different. Anyway thank you so much with you participation and have a nice day friend!
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Of course, I'll be hurt and feel bad, definitely it's not a good sign if your husband will tell you something like that, but of course you must also take into consideration what makes him feel that way towards you. Remember trust is one of the most important ingredients and the foundation of a successful relationship. Lack of it can cause serious problems and is actually the most common reason why relationships end. Trust is something that must be earned and maintained with action, not just words. Without it relationship is like a house without foundation - shakey at best.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
Yes trust is the powerful because it is one of the foundation of a strong relationship. You know every one of us would like to have a good happy home and family and I accept that I did wrong which my husband feel bad about it. Yes all of us are in favor of my husband but one secret thing happened is I enjoy and for the meantime I've been happy. Okay thanks to you and welcome to mylot! Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
9 Oct 10
I would be very hurt if anyone i loved said those words to me. it would be even more devastating to come from a husband. i would definitely come to the conclusion that our relationship was in trouble. i would do whatever i could to turn those feelings around. if i couldn't, the relationship may not last.
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes really the relationship go in trouble if you are in this situation but because he still love me well it settled early.. And now we are okay and fine together. Thank you friend and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@iamdee (158)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
I will really feel sad and get hurt big time if ever I will hear those words from my husband in the future. Yes you made a mistake as a wife but I guess, if he really loves you unconditionally, he would be willing to forgive you because nobody is perfect we are all vulnerable to commit mistakes. As of now, you must really prove to him that you are really sorry and you will never do the same mistake again. Don't be afraid to express to him how much you love him with all your sweetness and tender loving care so that his love will not fade. Show him that you would do everything just to keep your relationship strong and that you really cannot afford losing him as your beloved husband. Help him understand the situation. On the other hand, he must also be willing to listen to you because listening also matters in a relationship. If unconditional love really reigns between the two of you, then I believe you will be able to surpass such misunderstanding and love each other more each day.Never give up. God bless!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes friend I did everything to gain his respect and trust to me. He is my husband and because we are binded by a knot in our matrimonial rites well i need to maintain our relationship so tight. And as a husband i need to gain his love again for the sake of children and years of marriage. Thank you friend and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
If he saw you chatting with someone else, I assume that it was a guy. I think that marriage should not only be based on love but also on trust. If he's hurt, it's natural to withdraw. If you have been married for quite some time now, sustaining the love can be tricky. I suggest you apologize and earn his trust again by not engaging in chats if its already putting a burden in your relationship. Do some things that would make him feel important like giving him a surprise gift even when there is no occasion.:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes I don't want to be hypocrite abut my feelings into my chatmate. Yes you are right and i enjoy chatting but when he caught me well that is the destruction. but because he is a husband i need to gain his love and earned again his respect if he still love me. thank you friends and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
9 Oct 10
So, if I understand correctly, you had a chat-mate and something about that chatting made him feel that you were in someway cheating on him. Is that correct? I assume you were chatting about more than the weather. You have looked at the situation from his perspective and understand his hurt, and you have apologized. That is all very good. His comment about the 40% at one time may have been an attempt to express his hurt over the situation. But the answer you both need is to accept and forgive what has happened, and now move forward. He cannot live at 40%. If you both can honestly admit that your relationship has been harmed, then you can both commit to improving your relationship every day, starting today. I really hope you can get past this. If either of you continue to dwell on the 40% remark, it will be difficult. Wish you the best. djbtol
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes you are right a I got have a chatmate and I enjoy it. I admit that i'm happy chatting but he got jealous especially when he caught me in the act. On my part it is just a fun and stress releasing and nothing more important. Exactly what you said i did and gain his love again. Now he was happy but i dont know the remarks! thanks and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@dhysanne (451)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
if I'm in that situation, I will be hurt. But I will do my part to save our relationship. I think you should work hard again, prove to Him that he's the only one. Show him more love and affection. Give him more attention. And pray to God to bless your marriage.
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Yes that is exactly what I did an it works now he is fine and again I gain his trust and love again. Thanks to you friend and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
It is very hurting of course. When you are caught in the act chatting with someone else and you entertain it by showing interest to that someone. That is of course hurting on the part of your husband seeing you like that. It is if he almost lose respect to you. Good thing, he has still 40% love to you. Gain his trust again by showing him how sorry you are.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
Thanks for the advice and i also believe that he decrease his love to me and also some respect but i know it will be okay again later. Thanks have a happy day!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164671)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Apr 13
hi mida196621 what the hell did you expect if you were cheating by giving your chatmate what should have been your attention to your own husband? He would be really hurt and he would probably be really angry too.You claim its innocent and yet you do feel guilty so it was not that innocent at all.. I do not blame your husband as its a form of cheating., You are married to your husband and your attention should go to him not a chat mate at all.You can retrieve this marriage if you will be really good and pay attention only to your own mate. make your chatmates female not male and do not cheat again.