Bullying Addendum - Balance and Perspective

@epicure35 (2822)
United States
October 9, 2010 6:07pm CST
Aol News reports on a bullying story in Mentor, Ohio, dateline 10/8/10, by Meghan Barr. "Ohio High School Under Scrutiny After a Spate of Suicides" It mentions some 4 suicides over the past two years and details the recent suicide of a girl named Sladjana Vidovic, bullied and tormented because of her Croation accent. It also made mention of a student being bullied for a learning disability, another for the clothes worn, and another for being gay. Again, I ask you, where the heck were the teachers and administrators? How long will they be derelict in their duty to protect and moniter children in their charge? I've already detailed in another discussion my own children's experiences in the 70's where the school literally encouraged bullying and intimidation through peer pressure on the part of the children. It's disgusting. Re the girl featured in the article, the author noted that the very girls who tormented this student walked up to her casket and LAUGHED. My point re this discussion remains the same: BULLYING, TORMENT AND MEANNESS of all kinds is NEVER OK for any person, animal, or living thing. It is NOT proprietary to ONLY the homosexual community and the "politically correct"(cultural Marxism) of the Hollywood and gay community in trying to manipulate the media for their own political agenda to make bullying "their" issue for their aggrandizement denies the truth and is deceptive. Every child and adult is suscptible to bullying in one form or another and it is WRONG and evil for EVERYBODY. Bullying is an "equal opportunity destroyer". The gay community shows its absolute lack of concern, even disdain, for the bullying of ALL people of all persuasions when it tries to play victim using "political correctness" to restrict bullying as only a gay issue for special favors and a political leg-up. If they were people of true character, they would instead be "morally correct" and take up the issue on behalf of all people (and animals, living things) rather than deliberately trying to portray it as a "gay persecution" issue and play victim, as in "poor me", I deserve special treatment because of MY group affiliation. I guess they failed to notice the bullying and physical violence gay activists committed against an elderly woman in San Francisco during one of their anti-Prop.8 rants, knocking her down for peacefully protesting. We are all a minority of one when it comes to bullying and each and every one of us deserves protection from such atrocities. We have all seen many and innumerable examples bullying, tormenting, and beating of all kinds of people for all kinds of "reasons", and NOT ONE OF THEM IS RIGHT OR ACCEPTABLE. Please don't let the "gay community" Hollywood types "hijack" and DEMEAN this crucial issue and make it their "private property" through political "hackery" for their own selfish aggrandizement. This is a vital issue for EVERY ONE of us as moral people choosing to be morally correct, and not political people deliberately distracting from the truth of an issue through "political correctness" (the Marxist term for word and thought shaping).
6 responses
@xfahctor (14128)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
11 Oct 10
There are several other broader issues this speaks volumes about. We are raising a generation of spineless victims. Some will say this sounds "cold" or "uncompassionate" of me but truth is truth....and this is the inescapable truth. It as far crueler to send our kids in to the world believing that it is this place of nicey nice and that cruelty is the exception rather than the rule. It is far crueler to send children in to the world unable to defend themselves against the cruelty and hardship life delevers unto us all in one way or another. There has always been bullying, there will always be bullying. We must return to teaching our children to stand up for themselves. I saw someone make the argument against this saying "two wrongs don't make a right". The fundamental flaw in that statement though, is that standing up for yourself or defending yourself is NOT wrong. Another issue I want to bring in is I saw a statement from the whitehouse speaking out against this...in the comments to that statement, there were a number of demands that the white house "do something" - Do what? These events are all matters for local and state law enforcement and the respective school disctricts....the white house can stay the hell out of it thank you.
@epicure35 (2822)
• United States
11 Oct 10
xfahctor, you are so right in much of what you say. While most of us raise our children to be kind and loving, their innocence if often taken advantage of, because others do not do the same. I am currently watching my grandchild be "initiated" into the evils of the world, and it's very painful. She is sweet, innocent, and trusting. I've tried to help her find a place of strength and safety, but, as a grandparent, I do not have the latitude I'd like to have, as I have raised and provided for her from birth, but she is not in my care just now. While it is true that "two wrongs (can never) make a right" finding the right way for self-defense is necessary, but difficult, because physical violence should be avoided if possible. You are 100% right; defending oneself is NOT wrong. Scripture admonishes us to be "wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove". Teaching a child to be savvy and yet avoid wrongdoing is necessary, but can be dicey. What happens in the schools is to me a horror story, but I won't go there right now. Then, too, so many young ones today are taught to believe in "Disney" and fairy tales, but not the reality of a spiritual, moral universe, e.g. good vs evil and how to deal with it. And I much echo your sentiment re the WH, which is baseless and useless to this country in its deception and deliberate design to REMOVE our protections and freedoms.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Oct 10
Argh! There is nothing mutually exclusive about growing up with Disney and fairy tales and princesses and santa claus, that does NOT mean someone is NOT taught to be assertive and blunt and to stand up for oneself when necessary. It does not mean they are not learning about right and wrong from a moral standpoint of following the general rules of society. I think a lot is contained in 'mind your own business' and 'treat others and the world with care' and 'when all else fails, go home and eat cookies'. Also, eating sand is a bad idea and you should always have a buddy when you go out on the sidewalk or cross the street, and call your mom and tell her where you are so she doesn't worry. These are the things that are important.
@spalladino (17924)
• United States
10 Oct 10
This is probably a wasted effort but I decided to post it anyway. I don't know how much television you watch or how many channels, but there have been several PSAs broadcast recently but members of the television community in response to this bullying issue who are not gay, so this is not just a "gay" issue. I also don't know how long it's been since you've attended high school but have noticed that you use elementary schools in other comments so lets look at the differences since you're seem to insist that the teachers and administrators are responsible for being aware of and doing something about bullying. In elementary school a child is in one classroom every day with one teacher...with the possible exception of P.E. class. In high school a teen goes to as many as 8 different classrooms every day. In elementary school students have little if any opportunity to walk the hallways unsupervised. In high school students go from class to class individually. In elementary school students arrive at school, either by bus or by parent, and go directly to their classroom. In high school many students drive themselves to school, when they get off the bus they don't have to enter the building until the bell rings. High school students have more freedom before and after school, between classes and during lunch. They also have more after school activities. There is no way that the teachers and administrators can watch what goes on at all times, in all areas, throughout the day. They can't be everywhere at once.
@epicure35 (2822)
• United States
10 Oct 10
spalladino, I'm sorry that we not only disagree on issues fairly vehemently, but also cannot even communicate in an understanding way. My whole point in the discussion was that bullying is not just a gay issue, and you are saying the same thing, with an edge. I don't know why. My children were in high school not so long ago and I've been in high schools most recently. While it is true teachers and administrators cannot be everywhere at once, today's technology affords some opportunities to view what is happening to our children. Sad that it has to be that way, but, I'd rather err in that direction than in the total failure to moniter our children both on and off scene that exists today. Again, I have watched teachers/administrators/aides, etc, in "coffee and chit chat" while untoward behavior is happening before their eyes, as well as their failure to do anything corrective when bullying is reported by students who fear reprisal. It is this uncaring attitude plus the evils of a political and money-grabbing system that is being foisted on and is the example for our children. It's just pathetic.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Oct 10
I thought spalladino's response was communicated in a very positive and clear way. I think most of us have mentioned that bullying is NOT just a gay issue, and since I do not see my beloved 'Glee' as anything but a show I like to watch, I have to disregard what you have said about it. If that's how you would like to label it, that's fine, but I think that is an unfair statement. Like I told you in another thread, I really think that schools need to be judged on an individual basis. YES there are some VERY BAD ones. There is a high school in my town where I would NEVER EVER EVER allow any of my children to go. If that were my district high school, I would apply for an interdistrict transfer, I would drive them myself to another school, if all else failed, I would MOVE to be within another district. This school not only experiences a lot of behavior issues, they regularly have reports of violence in the news and there is a a decent sized crew of 'school police and security' on site on and around the school daily during the school week. That said, in the same area where I live are two other EXCELLENT high schools where I would have no problem whatsoever sending my kids to. It also depends how involved you are. If you are very involved and have always been, you get a few perks because the staff and administration get to know you. Yes there are also some BAD teachers or BAD administrators, but we cannot in good conscience paint them ALL with the same brush. I cannot anyway. Everybody deserves a chance to prove themselves worthwhile and worthy, if they are, then it makes it all worth it. If not, well, there are plenty of ways to deal with it, and quickly.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
10 Oct 10
Yes, I have an issue with bullying, and it is indeed an 'equal opportunity destroyer' and it is insidious, it destroys the perpetrator as well as the victim over time. HOWEVER. I do not understand why you have to turn this into another issue. Ending right there with bullying being an issue is good enough. I do not see the issue of bullying as anything to do with a political or gay agenda. Nothing. I cannot see where you get that from or where ANYBODY would get that from. The only reason it would ever occur to me now is that I saw a discussion where you talked about it a lot. Yes the LGBT groups complain about being bullied - because they ARE. They are singled out by people who have nothing better to do than be a$$holes and jerks. I don't see the point. I've never heard of or seen any gay person stand there and claim that THEY are the only victims in this war. I'm not sure why you would think this or where you get your information but I know this is not true because this discussion is the FIRST time I have ever heard of anything like this, or seen a viewpoint such as this. I like your discussions, I like your responses. I simply don't know where this came from though....
@foofermen (503)
9 Oct 10
I believe it must be a student effort to stop bullying. If a someone sees another person being bullied, that person MUST get involved. Whether it be an anonymous note or email or stepping up and defending the victim or alerting an authority of some kind (teacher, supervisor, police) The only thing worse than an evil person is a good person who stands by as evil is perpetrated.
@epicure35 (2822)
• United States
10 Oct 10
It is up to adults to protect, moniter, and support our children when in their care. Children need wise guidance and authority. They do not get in our schools, because our school systems are sold out to politicking and economic gain and do not focus on our children's safety. I have already detailed the bullying institutionalized in our schools by teachers and administration alike. I witnessed it as a teacher and as a parent. Our children have been forced into undertaking adult responsiblity by generations of "me" adults who act like children, in abandoning their families to divorce, the pursuit of self-aggrandizement, materialism and psuedo-intellectualism. Then they turn their children over to the schools to raise! Pretty stupid, as the schools have another agenda. Students are terrified to report bullying because they don't get protection from the adults around them and they fear reprisals. The schools will do NOTHING but put up vacuous signs saying "bully-free zone", and then watch students bully each other right under the signs. They will do NOTHING until it's too late. I have talked to student after student and it's always the same - the teachers will do nothing when bullying is reported. I have witnessed it with my own eyes and ears. I watched a small second-grade boy come up to a male teacher and report that another boy was bullying him. The teacher just told him to "get on line" and then demeaned this child with mean remarks that he was a wimp to a female teacher and they both had a "good chuckle". I've seen such incidents repeated almost every day and, as I've aready detailed , witnessed teachers, coaches bullying students and using peer pressure against students to intimidate them. This is the example our children are given and it's a disgrace.
@spalladino (17924)
• United States
10 Oct 10
Sounds like a horrible school and a horrible area if that attitude included more than one school but you have to keep in mind that your experiences are not necessarily the experiences of the rest of the country. I, along with my 3 siblings, had no problems with bullies while going through the public school system in Maryland because that kind of cr@p was not tolerated. My 4 children went through another school system in southern Maryland...the same was true there and the same was also true at the high school my youngest daughter attended here in Florida and the elementary school two of my grandchildren attend here. The teachers do pay attention, the school administration takes action and the parents are called. I cannot imagine two teachers behaving in the way you've indicated regarding a child of only 7...that's unacceptable in any school.
@Galena (9123)
10 Oct 10
in the adult world, it would be considered abuse, and it would be illegal. in the childs world it's considered "kids will be kids" the bullies go on to live normal lives and can be happy, and people like me suffer forever. I have recently been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and while it was for a separate issue, I realise I have always had the same symptoms hanging over me from school. they torture. they delight in causing suffering and misery. they don't deserve a moments happiness in their lives EVER. for what they do to people. and the schools are failing the pupils. they have a duty of care in loco parentis. and they are failing in their legal in caring for the most precious thing in someone elses life. it's disgusting. bullies MUST be punished for what they do.
@epicure35 (2822)
• United States
10 Oct 10
Galena, You are so right in your commenting. When any adult says "kids will be kids" it shows his ignorance, lack of caring about both the victim and his own kids, and lack of moral character. The schools should also be sanctioned for what they do in fostering and encouraging bullying. It is a crime. Adults in the home, school, and government who look away are responsible for failure to care for, properly instruct, and protect children: we have left children to raise themselves as parents abdicate, cut and run from their duty, schools become "political operatives", complicit in encouraging bullying, rebellion and weakening of families, and the government is basically tantamount to a police state these days. I am so sorry for your suffering. I was "teased" at school, and it did not escalate beyond unkind words, but it still hurt and it carries through a lifetime, as you have said.
@gewcew23 (8011)
• United States
10 Oct 10
"homosexual community and the "politically correct"(cultural Marxism) of the Hollywood and gay community in trying to manipulate the media for their own political agenda to make bullying "their" issue for their aggrandizement denies the truth and is deceptive." And that is where I stopped. I was actually agreeing with you up to this point until you went into your typical illogical banter.
@epicure35 (2822)
• United States
10 Oct 10
Sorry you feel that way. And sorry you are not getting my message. What's illogical is to take a very important issue to ALL people and use it as a political tool and football, thus denying the protection and support, as in "equal rights for all" to EVERYONE who is bullied and restricting it to only members of their "in" group. Can't you agree with that?