if he comes back???

Philippines
October 10, 2010 6:42pm CST
i know i should not expect because it would only hurt me more. i know i should move on and continue life without him, but i just cant stop thinking about it. my subconscious is telling me i want him to love me again and be my boyfriend again. i am confused... i don't know what i should choose. he left me without explaining why. and found out that there was an affair again. though i am not sure if the affair is real or not because his mom, sister and friend denies they know the girl and that my ex really had an affair. why would they even deny it when my boyfriend already broke up with me? what if he comes back what should i do? what is the right thing to do? should i just accept him just like that? what if he even takes me for granted because i just accepted him? how can i make him realize my importance? how can i make him realize that he should treat me right because i love him so much?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@ericytac (83)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
Hello monmon, What a big problem there. I should say that you should not expect him to comeback and if he comeback don't accept him. The fact that he left you without explaining why has a big reason. Maybe he don't love you anymore but he doesn't want to tell you cause he is afraid you get hurt more, Or He find someone whom he love more than he love you. If he love you he will find ways to be with you. If he loves you he will not let a single chance not to be with you specially leaving you alone without any explanation. I suggest don't go back to that guy. Learn to forget him and not to love him anymore. I suggest you find a guy who makes you happy and learn to love that guy. You deserve to be happy. Just open your heart to other person who will love you more and forget about the past. Maybe God has a better plan for you, much better than the one you want, more loving and thoughtful person than the one love. I will leave you a question to think about. " If you accept him back, how sure are you that he will now love you and will never leave you again? Just for a thought he leaves you, and there's no reason he will do it again. Good Luck and God Bless.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
You feel the pain, you cry because you still love him. Try to forget him and everything will be okay. I know how hard to forget someone you love, but you need to. Just remember that if you dont forget him, you will always feel the pain and it will happen time to time. Just try it step by step, cause it is impossible to forget him instantly. Say to your self " I don't want the pain anymore, I don't want to cry anymore" forget everything. Don 't be like my friend, it's too late when he regret it. While you have time, don't waste it spending time crying and thinking of him. It only hurt and cause you more pain. Just spent it wisely something that makes you happy, something that would make yo forget the person who make you suffer. you deserve to be happy.
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
what's your heart telling you?In that sense whatever is the answer, ask your brains,is it right???then weigh,if you wanted to be forever unhappy and crying over his infidelity then go on...but if you think its quite enough then give yourself a break...choose...from your mouth you said you've been suffering but if you insist of continuing it then its your free will...in whatever you made a decision with you have to face the consequences that it will be giving....
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
vanjosh when he first did that i just forgave him for the affair. i could not give him my whole heart but i still love him. actually despite the problems i was happy. i was happy and sad but i felt much happiness than loneliness. i was lonely because i was not sure if he did really love me because he would always break up with me because of just a small fight. i would say sorry first even if he started the fight. you gave me an advice that i should weigh things, but actually weighing things is not enough because my heart stills want to give him a chance but my mind sometimes tells me enough and sometimes it tells me to give him a chance but i should make him suffer first.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
Just think that as if your situation in the situation of your friend, and you are about to give her an advice. What advice would you give to her knowing all the information.
1 person likes this
• Canada
11 Oct 10
Ouch and so sorry to hear about your situation. I can honestly tell you as a man if you accept him back your will be opening your heart to even more pain in the near future. I have had this same relationship years back with a girl I was head over heels in love with. She basically broke my heart by cheating on me with my best friend then I was stupid enough to give her another try and it happen again. If you let someone away with something once then 99 percent of the time they will try to get away with something again. As for his parents and sister lying to you, well yes I totally believe they are because they are either ashamed but what he has done or they just don't want to let on they know so you won't bother them with questions. I know it sucks trust me I really do but if you take him back or keep waiting for him to come back you will always spend your life wondering what if I did it different. After all if you are supposed to be with a guy like this then chances are down the road fate will kick in and you will be. Again, sorry to hear about it but if I was you I would move on with my life no matter how hard it is or how bad it feels right now. Things will get better if you give them a chance and give yourself some space and time to worry about yourself. I hope all works out for you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
krizz, so are you saying that the relationship was really real?? even his friend said that he does not know the girl? even his other friends said they dont know the girl. and when his friend told my ex that i know the girl my ex also said he does not know the girl and asked me where i said getting all these information.
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Oct 10
Well I guess it is totally possible there is no relationship or other girl but I can't say because I have never met the guy. I think all you can do is think back and remember how many times you have been through this or something similar with him and decide if it's worth it. If you don't make a decision you will find yourself down the road wondering what if you know what i mean. Again I'm trying to freak you out or get you think he is all I can say is go with your gut feeling and whatever makes you happy.
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
11 Oct 10
WHY would you want to be with a man who doesn't see YOUR importance??? It does NOT matter how much you love him...if he doesn't love you back, you have NOTHING!!! YOU can control how you feel, but you cannot control how he feels. If you truly look at this man... WHY would you choose to love a cheater??? WHY would you choose to love a man who refuses to see how important you are??? WHY would you choose to love a man who only wants another woman??? Look into yourself & see HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE!!! Then choose to look for another man who can see YOUR IMPORTANCE!!! When you find your TRUE LOVE, he will love you just for who you are, you will love him just for who he is. Once you meet that true love, you will wonder what it was you saw in this jerk!!! Your life will be MUCH BETTER without this guy!!!! Learn to control yourself & you will be happier!!!
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
Lady marissa, i am trying so hard to control myself and even asked the help of my friends. i know it is crazy and stupid but somehow i still feel he loves me. my heart knows that he still does. but what if my heart is just deceiving me because that is what i want to feel. i went to his house to talk to him but unfortunately i was not able to talk to him and i promised that when i talk to him i won't cry. i gave him a card and other things. i asked his mom if he kept the card she said he kept it. first i handed the card and other thins to his father because he was not yet home. i came back the same day because i forgot to give him the chocolate. when i returned he was there and i could not even say a word to him. because i started to get emotional. when i saw him i did not feel any anger or pain, i only felt love. when i saw him he was surprised to see me there because he knew that i don't go to far places alone. i felt something there. i felt he was not ready to see me but i also saw concern. his sister told me that his ring (couple ring) he uses it as a pendant. Lady marissa, i really wish that i could control and not love him but the more i think that i should hate him for how badly he treated me i more i love him.
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
11 Oct 10
WAKE UP...He does NOT love you!!!!!! If he did love you, he would NOT be with another woman. He would be with you!!!! Going to his house 3 times in 1 day is ridiculous!!!! No wonder his Mother & sisters won't give you any information. They fear getting caught in the middle!!!! I promise you that your heart IS deceiving you!!! What you're doing is stalking him & that will surely drive him further away from you!!!! It is impossible to prove to someone that you deserve their love. Either they love you or they don't. In this case, he DON'T. Just accept it & go on with your life. It's time you grow up & accept life!!! You're making a fool of yourself!!!!!
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
I feel sorry about your situation,you know if he left you without any explanation,it only means that he's an inconsiderate man. Move on,move on. Never set expectations,you'll just be more upset. I hope you made a way to communicate with him for his reasons of leaving you behind and if he didn't make any explanations,then why would you waste your precious time with him. Never insist someone to love you back again. Try to let go of your feelings. Clear your thoughts sweetie. Be fair to yourself. moving on is a gradual process.
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
I think you yourself can decide for that matters. I feel that you love him more but you didn't know his real feelings for you. Well, it is not bad hoping him to be back at your side but spending too much waiting for someone who will not return is really a waste of time. I think you should move on and find other guy who really loves you in return.
@kodukodu84 (1576)
• Malaysia
11 Oct 10
Hi Monmon, I'm sorry but I must say that if I was you, my final decision is to move on. You have to put to end of this and show to him that you can stand up and live without him. Maybe his family and friends don't want to tell you the truth because surely it is true and they do not want to upset you, it's normal..but still not fair and no one seems to see your importance. Please move on because you are only going to waste all your precious time for this guy. Good luck and always smile