am ready to be a mother? (sighs)

Philippines
October 12, 2010 7:26am CST
am i ready to be a mother? this is the question that always pops on my mind. I want to get married and be a mother someday. Now, i'm turning 26 and i think it's close already. I take care of my 3 nieces at home and it was really hard. Oh my.. what if i become a mother and bear a child of four or five? My God. That's terrible. At anytime, i know my boyfriend will propose to me and we will be married and have a baby. Were you ready to become a mother when you had your first baby?
2 people like this
13 responses
@kaka135 (14157)
• Malaysia
12 Oct 10
Yeah, I was ready to be a mother when I had my first baby. I believe I was mature enough, I could control my emotion much better, and also I already started to read books about parenting, babies and kids. Actually I always like to be a mother, it's just that sometimes I couldn't stop thinking negatively and being emotional. This is not good for a pregnant lady and also a mother, hence I keep learning to make myself more calm, think more positively, and this will make the baby healthier and happier too. I think it's good to get ready before you are pregnant, it'll be good for both you and your baby, and your husband as well. I'd think age can't tell if you are ready or not, you gotta be emotional and mindful ready. I have friends who are over 30, and they have kids, though they love their kids, they have many complaints too. Sometimes I think it might not be good for them and the babies, as the babies are always being scolded or blamed. You can start reading some articles or books about parenting, then you'll know if you are ready to be a mother or not.
@lira23 (210)
• United States
12 Oct 10
This is really great advice, this is something of what I said but I put it in my own ways. Just commenting to say thank you for your input on this persons question as well, I would say that indeed you have to be mentally prepared along with finances are in order as well.
@pastigger (618)
• United States
12 Oct 10
We tried for over two years to get pregnant and when it finally happened we both still freaked out at first. It was like what are we doing are we really ready. I can tell you yes we are and we love our little girl so very much. I was 28 when she was born. Now my big stress is that she will be going to preschool next year and I am not ready for that. I just don't know how it got her so fast. We had our challenges having our daughter and then she was a preemie so we had a lot of challenges that first year but we made it and we are happy. Being a mom is really better than anything else I have ever done.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164347)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Oct 10
hi the sooner you get married and have the first child the more likely you will not have any birth defects but waiting beyond thirty it becomes more risky.I married at 32 and had my first at 33 and I was more than ready, mature and able to be a good mom. You sound really apprehensive and maybe a bit dubious about motherhood.If caring for three nieces gets you down perhaps you should not rush into marriage. four or five children is not necessarily terrible in that its the way you look at it. all women are not cut out to be moms.If you are in that category theres nothing to be ashamed of.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
21 Oct 10
I don't think that you are ever really ready to be a mother until the moment comes that your baby is placed in your arms for the first time. I was 22 years old when my daughter was born and though I had known from the time that I was a small girl that I wanted to eventually be a mother, I didn't fully grasp the responsibility and the endless amount of love that it would take to be a mother. However, I also have to say that being a mother is the most rewarding job that I've ever had in my life.
@Chispa514 (871)
• Montreal, Quebec
14 Oct 10
Hun, anyone who says they are ready to be parents are fooling themselves. [b]NO ONE[/B] is ever really ready for a child. People may think they are ready, but financially (unless you are very rich) no one has the right amount of money to care for a child, but they make do with what they do have, and they learn to adjust and budget to accomidate the child (or children). People also think they are ready emotionally, but really...who is ? We ALL have worries when it comes to children. We wonder if we will be a good parent, if we will raise them right, if we will know what to do if they get hurt, sick, etc... Its perfectly normal to be scared or worried and to question whether we are ready to have a child. I'm 33 years old, and I was very worried, and you know what.... I still wonder if I'm doing it right, or if I was ready. If we all go through life wondering if we're ready for something, and putting it off till we think we are, then you know what hun, we'll never get anything done.
@ip5217 (1655)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
At you age you are already physically ready to become a mother. What you need to ask yourself is whether you are emotionally, psychologically, and financially ready to face the responsibilities you are bound to face if you become a mother. Is your partner ready as well?
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
hey you are 26 already i think that's the right age to be a mother already. And having the experience of taking care of your nieces, well it is not bad for you, that gave you the ideas on how to raise your child someday. In my age now at 23, i thinking of being a mother already, but for now i'm still concentrating on my job to save more for my child someday when it will come.
13 Oct 10
Hi Tess-quinain, It hard to be a matured mother. I'm a single mom 27 years of age. i got pregnant when I was only 16 yrs. old and gave birth to a lovely angel whe I was 17 yrs. old. It is hard to be mature enough for my daughter at such young age but I tried really hard to raise her up in a good way. Just an advice, be sure you're ready to get married and have your children of your own, because get married and being pregnan is easy.... the difficult thing there is how to be mature enough to be a wife and a mother to your children.
@korn81 (3)
• Malaysia
13 Oct 10
You will know by then. I'm 29 now and 3 months pregnant of my second baby... I lost my first one... When i got pregnant of my firts baby, everyone asking me if i'm ready or not. I could not answered. With my husband cheating on me and financial problem, i'm about to give up. i felt i never can be a good mother. i guess the baby felt it too... and i lost it... I miscaraige... 1 day before mother's day... The day i lost it... i felt so lost... and wishing that all of it never happened. That day i know, I can be a mother and i'm ready for it no matter what obstacle ahead of me... Now i'm so happy getting pregnant again... Seeing your baby growing inside of you is the most special experience for every women...;p
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
13 Oct 10
Hi, it is definitely not easy to be a mother. Full of responsibility and the life is totally change once you have stepped yourself into motherhood. When I was married without kid, I still have freedom to do what I want. I can sleep late, or when I don't feel like cooking,I can just buy food from outside food stall, I can laze at home anytime I want. I just feel relaxing without any disturbance. But once I got to know that I was pregnant, I knew that my life is going to change in the next 9 months, with the arrival of my baby, I will be super busy and probably I don't have my OWN "ME" time. Yes....my prediction is right. I hardly have my own ME time since my son was born,especially for the first few months. I have to adapt myself into motherhood life and since I am a new mother, I really have lot of things to learn and lucky my mother in law did give me lot of guidance and slowly I learnt from her and now I have been taking care of my son for more than 3 years. I am trying my best to be a good mother and a good wife at home. Not easy .... But at least I am doing my duty well. However, I don't think I can manage with 2 kids at home with me. That is why I only want to have one child and glad that my first child is a boy. In Chinese family tradition, always have this conservative thinking that boy is more precious than a girl. especially old folks,always prefer the first child to be a boy. and my son is the first grandchild in my husband's family. Of course, for i myself, boy and girl is the same and lot of people are telling me that girl is good, at least, girl will takecare of her family ans more closer to mother. I do agree to it because I am also a daughter of my mother and father and I am very care about my parents. I have a close relationship with my parents although I have married and stay far away from them.My parents are always in my heart. But it does not mean I will plan for second child to have a daughter at my side. I just pray hard that in future my son will love me and my husband.
@namdaemun (283)
• Indonesia
13 Oct 10
Well, you should be. Actually that's every girl's dream ( I think) to have a baby. You must be quite skilled in taking care of your baby because you already could take care of your 3 nieces. It's a good practice. Just do your best and you'll enjoy having family to take care of
@lira23 (210)
• United States
12 Oct 10
Only you can determine if your ready to be a mother, if you feel that your financially ready and physically along with mentally ready then yes you are probably good to go in being a mother, just remember because you get married does not mean that you haft to have a baby. Enjoy your time with your fiancé or boyfriend, husband or whatever he is before you have kids, also talk about it with your boyfriend to make sure that you want to have babies. Being the age of 26 does not mean anything as there are women whom have had children in their 30s and 40s, if you do not want to have kids yourself but want them there is always the option of adoption, I am sure that many children would enjoy the love you and your future husband will have to share with them.
• United States
12 Oct 10
I had my first baby when I was 27. I was ready to be a mother, but when I had the baby, I realized that there was so much to learn. My whole life changed. I started working from home, I had less energy to shop, I wanted to sleep all day, etc. Never the less, I was so happy to be a mother. I am still not married but plan to be soon.