do break.ups mean it's really OVER?

Philippines
October 12, 2010 10:55pm CST
all of us experience the pain of having to go through with break.ups, right? but what if despite all the hurt that person caused u, u still want to keep track of wat he or she's doing lately? new hobbies, new circle of friends, new job, new mate, new everything. you're pretty sure u'r over with the "Love" feelings though... it's probably more on the friendship that makes u so concerned about... is it just ok?
3 people like this
15 responses
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
Sometimes break up means a good start. It may be a beginning of finding new love, new interest, or simply a matter of giving out another chance to rekindle the the moments. Your situation is practically normal for those people who just experienced having a broken heart. Just don't over do it or else you'll find yourself getting hurt.
• Canada
13 Oct 10
My thoughts exactly!!
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
Thanks Krizz420.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
It is not healthy to keep track of what an ex is doing. It will only make you feel worse and will just make moving on more difficult. It is okay to keep friendship with an ex,however, before grooming a friendship with a past love, you should give it time. It is not helpful to be talking to an ex when both of you are still healing over the broken relationship. One of you might still be fragile over it and will just end up hurting more, making a genuine friendship an impossible idea. When time heals the pain, and when both of you are sure you have gotten over it, friendship comes out naturally..
• China
14 Oct 10
I agree with this opinion. It is much more intellectual. Sometimes it is just because you are used to pay attention to what he/she is doing momently. So you need time to get over this thoughts and start a new life. It is good for both of the parties.
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
no, its just saying that u need to grow apart for you to realize that the love is still there but its not the right time...
• United States
14 Oct 10
Break ups are in the eye of the person it is happening to. If you have been with a person for a long time, of coarse you are going to check up on them. But there is a line between caring and being obsessive. Once the other person has moved on, it is time for you to move on too, or it is considered stalking.
@shaggin (36666)
• United States
14 Oct 10
Sometimes its hard to just be friends when you are still in love with someone and have to see that person that you love with someone else. Even if you want to know what they are up to and how they are doing sometimes it just makes it harder. That was the case with my ex he was obsessed with me so I had to pretty much cut all contact with him.
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
13 Oct 10
I broke up with my ex about three weeks ago. It's complicated of the story but as the ending goes, it would have been easy but his friend is being such a pain in the tush! If there was a chance to still remain friends with the ex, it's done and gone now. It will take time to get over the one you love. But, for all that is special, make sure you remain respectful and kind. You'll never know if you need them again in the future. ~Pleiades
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
Sometimes people do not really get over a person. I mean, no matter how long it has already been and whatever the reason two people break up especially if you truly loved each other, the love would still be there. Personally, I'd also want to become friends with an ex and be updated with how he is. But there are some people who might not be okay with it and we have to give them that as a sign of respect. It may be difficult but we have to oblige.
• Portugal
13 Oct 10
yes is ok^^ as long as you dont love person anymore^^ or can get hurt. imagine that your ex likes a new girl. you want be his friend still and have to hear him talking about her? are you sure it wont hurt you? bcs sometimes be friends with ex is complicated^^ i remember that my ex told me we can be friends but for me dont talk with him about my bf bcs he still loved me ^^ so sometimes is complicated. anyway you can be friends sure even if love or not. but if love is more complicated^^ but can still be :)
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Oct 10
A break up will definitely change your relationship. Sometimes time apart can make you see what is real or not between you., It does not always mean that is the end. sometimes we can find our way back to someone after the relationship has taken a different turn.
• India
13 Oct 10
I do not think it is all over. As there could be a pinch of love between the two, believe that everything would come to a good end
@mysthree (61)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
in my own opinion, it's not okay ... keep tracking the activities of your ex boyfriend only shows that you still care for him. Its okay to have news regarding him but to the point that you still track his activities ... girl, your not over with him, you still love him. I think your in the stage of denial stage, i just hope that soon you will be in acceptance stage and finally, moving on ....
@ip5217 (1656)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
This happens if you have invested so much on that person- time and feelings. Also, sometimes the break-up is one-sided and you are still in-love with this person but have no choice but to let go because he doesn't love you anymore. Sad truth but this happens. As a result, you tend to monitor and spy on him still.
• Canada
13 Oct 10
I have to say I agree with the number 3 response. I personally also think its unhealthy to keep track of what your ex is doing because weather you know it or not something could be hurting you as your finding new information out. It's not set in stone that if you break up its totally over because many people will give it another try once, twice, three times or more so I guess its never really over until you totally stop talking to the person. That is just me though. Personally for me the only thing that worked on bad break ups for me was the old "Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind" but doesn't work for everyone. I just think its easier to move on with your own life when your not concentrating on your ex's life and everything good that is going their way. I have to admitted I have checked up on old girlfriends from time to time and sometimes it brings back a rush of emotions that I had forgotten I had for that person and ends up hurting me for days after because there is nothing i could do to change the situation now. Break ups as hard as they are really brings out a persons inner strength and toughens us up each time or at least thats what I have found.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
I don't think you could truly be 'over' someone you have been loving for a long time. I think love is still there but you're just tired of working for it. It's more of you're contented of just seeing him/her happy with his/her life without you. However, I doubt that you're truly happy that your relationship with that person has ended. Of course, there will be exceptions. One of which would be those who were physically and emotionally abused or neglected all throughout the relationship. When that is over, it will be over.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
I don't think you could truly be 'over' someone you have been loving for a long time. I think love is still there but you're just tired of working for it. It's more of you're contented of just seeing him/her happy with his/her life without you. However, I doubt that you're truly happy that your relationship with that person has ended. Of course, there will be exceptions. One of which would be those who were physically and emotionally abused or neglected all throughout the relationship. When that is over, it will be over.