Should you speak up or not?
By teenymarie
@teenymarie (107)
United States
October 15, 2010 10:14pm CST
Today I was at the doctor's office for my two year old daughter's check up. There was a little boy who was a little younger than her in the waiting room with his mother and grandmother. The kid was running around like crazy and his mom was pretty much ignoring him and letting him do whatever he wanted. I mean, I understand that kids are a handful and sometimes get wild but she wasn't even making an effort. Anyway, this little boy eventually came up and was right in my little girls face, and then started trying to touch her face. She obviously didn't want him to and was squirming away from him. I waited for a minute to see if the mom was going to say anything, and when she didn't I said "No no she doesn't want you to touch her right now" in a nice tone of voice, just like I would talk to my own kids. The mom AND the grandma both gave me the dirtiest looks ever, like they couldn't believe that I was saying anything. So what do you think, was it right for me to say something since he was bothering MY child or should I just have ignored him and waited for the people to do something?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@OneLove2010 (20)
• United States
16 Oct 10
Honey, it doesn't sound like the grandmother or mother was going to say anything. And I am not one to hold my tongue when it comes to my daughter who will be 2 in a few months. She doesn't like to sit still but she doesn't bother people either. Anyways, I would have done the same thing you did in a nice tone. In fact, even though this sounds stupid, when I'm out with my daughter and say we're at walmart and a person pretty much shoves past people with children or who are pregnant I look at my daughter and say it loud enough for this person to hear and I say "If you ever act that rude towards someone who has a child or is pregnant you will be in so much trouble. That is rude and disrespectful and they wonder what is wrong with the world these days."
They always give me looks. Not so much dirty but they know. :) Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get people to think.
@teenymarie (107)
• United States
17 Oct 10
My girls (2 and 3) have a hard time sitting still sometimes too. I understand that this boy was a little kid, just like they are, BUT when my girls aren't behaving, we have a talk and they either straighten up or we leave (if possible) What irritated me was that they didn't even try.
Oh and about people being rude and pushing past pregnant women/people with small children, the day before my first daughter was born we were at walmart and someone literally knocked me into a shelf trying to squeeze past us in a hurry. Ridiculous!
@teenymarie (107)
• United States
17 Oct 10
I did feel sorry for the little boy too. I'm sure he doesn't get much attention if no one even tried to settle him down in the middle of the doctor's office.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Well, it is your child that was being aggrevated and because of that, I think that you were perfectly within the realm of being right to say something to the child for agitating your daughter. On the other hand, I also think that the parent and grandmother of the other child should have been paying attention to him because it is a doctor's office and there are a lot of sick children then, getting in someone's face could cause him to get ill if he wasn't already ill.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
16 Oct 10
Apparently this is why the child was running around gong ramped as when you gently said no, no, the parent and grandparent should have immediately got up, apologized to your child and spoken to their child.
Unfortunately if they both continue with this attitude the child will grow up to be more than just a whiny wild child and well they are the teachers. AS whey would they look at you mean as what if this were a different child way worse than your and pushed or something.
Parents today really do not think before their actions as to how they are actual the problematic ones as children sense the actions of their parents.
Should you have ignored him, absolutely not, you want to show your daughter that this is wrong and it will also teach her ways of defending herself as oppose to be violent.
Great job 
@teenymarie (107)
• United States
17 Oct 10
Thanks for the response. I agree the parents are the ones who were at fault, kids don't know any better unless someone teaches them how to act.
@pastigger (612)
• United States
16 Oct 10
I don't think I would have been that polite about it. It would have really upset me. It drives me crazy when parents don't make their children behave. I would never let my daughter do such a thing. I would have given them a dirty look back. You did not do anything wrong. When it comes to my daughter I have become very brave and I do speak up more than I ever had before.
@teenymarie (107)
• United States
17 Oct 10
I know, it drives me crazy too. We have the same problem at the park sometimes, kids pushing, etc. and their parents saying nothing because they aren't paying attention.
@iamjesca (185)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
It was your right to that since the child was bothering your daughter. They should have explained to the child to sit down and dont run around the clinic. It was not only you who was bothered by the child's running around. If you ignore such acts they will continue. It is as if you are tolerating the child's attitude which is not good. And I think the child needs attention that is why he is doing things like those running around in the office. It is a good thing that you stopped the kid from touching your daughter's face. Because he will know that you dont allow your daughter to be touched like that. Such a pity for the mother and grandmother completely ignoring the child. And for giving you that dirty look.
@teenymarie (107)
• United States
17 Oct 10
Thank you. I think what bothered me most was that they didn't even TRY to do anything about it.
@ganeshprabhuk (1722)
• India
16 Oct 10
Speaking is a art which everyone wont have it. we should think twice before we saying something.As it will have a direct impact on the opposite persons so words should be soft & mild. as once words spoken cant be taken back at any cost so think before you ink. lets keep our self happy and others also with our t aughts and words.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
17 Oct 10
HI, I also have two children (both are girls), I understand what you meant here... Just tell your daughter not to get close to him in a loud tone, or tell him that "please, dont do that again cuz she doesn't like the way you did." cuz if the mother didn't do anything or stop her kid, then you have to say something before something else happen. I dont like lost control kid... I would warm my kids not to stay close to him cuz this kind of kid would so silly thing in a second. wish you good luck.
@yogeshdhusa (2236)
• India
16 Oct 10
I think you did right. They should understand that their child is bothering other. Disturbing others. I feel that a child should be clam and pleasant and also should understand that they behave good. Well they will understand only when their parents will tell them. I feel that she least bother about the kid. Its not Child's mistake its his mothers duty and she was unable to give them basic manners.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
24 Oct 10
You did the right thing. I had the same thing happen to me about 2 years ago when my middle daughter was 3. A little boy about her age wouldnt leave her alone and the parents or who ever weren't doing anything about. So, I told the little boy, can you please stop she doesnt want to play right now. He started screaming the the parent just looked at me like I did something wrong. So I explained to her what happened and what I had said. She ended up leaving. There are times I just wish I could do something about these parents that dont even pay attention to their child(ren). I would have not ignored it nor will I ever ignore it when a parent isnt being much of a parent to see what their child is doing.
@amg5009 (62)
• United States
16 Oct 10
It was your right to say something to the little boy. If i were you I would have either told the mother that the child should be sitting because it is not a place where children should run or I would have went to the receptionist to ask if she was able to do anything about the child. there are so many parents out there that do not care what their children do these days. Call me old fashioned but if children are not told what is right and wrong when they are young, they will never learn as adults.
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
I guess the mom and the grandmom are the type of people who do not like it when other people tell other children what to do. I think you were right to speak up. As a mom it's your job to protect your daughter. Besides, you wouldn't have done that if the mom and grandmom said something themselves. I hate people like that _
• India
16 Oct 10
Yeah, accoding to me, Now-a-days, growing became reverse. Big people are behaving like childrens and some small people are behaving like parents. When you said to that not to touch your baby, hw hadn't listen because he was child. His parents became child at the time. They loose their mental balance because they think that you are scolding their child and looked at you dirtiestly. But you are not doing that and you are protecting your child. Quotation "Crow child is sweet for Crow".
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
16 Oct 10
I think that you did the right thing. There are many bad parents that don't try to teach their kids how to behave in a respectful way towards others, and they need someone, even if it's a kind stranger, to tell them when their behaviour isn't appropiate and they're bothering someone. Those mom and grandma need to pay more attention to that kid, otherwise he will grow into a horrible adult with no respect for the others.
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
16 Oct 10
You've done it right. You were talking in behalf of your daughter who basically doesn't want to get touched really. The mother or grandma should have called the child after that because they know that the child's bothering yours. There's no need to be worried about it, it's nowhere near your fault.
