Debt Collection? :)

Philippines
October 17, 2010 1:07am CST
How hard is it to collect sum of money from a friend? I lend huge amount of money to a friend about a year ago out of friendship I gave it without hesitation and doubt. After a year I told her I needed the money so I ask her to pay me back even on installment basis. The problem starts when she promised to give on this date and when the date comes she will give another reason that happens on and on up to the present. Now I realized that it was very hard to collect from a friend. If you where in my shoes what will you do? Would you avail the legal actions in order to collect the money? I've been thinking a lot what to do that would not affect our friendship... Help my lotters..
11 responses
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
17 Oct 10
Hi jasminetea, The problem is very difficult, my friend. Honestly, I always have the same problem with you, to forget and I can not count how many losses I suffered. I am a person who always help a friend in terms of debt, but do not understand why they always pay their debts in, I always became victim to all these problems, but for the sake of friendship, I never talk about it again, I hope someday they will realize that their actions were wrong. As a human, I always have high social care, but on the other hand I am as a person who always needed money. thank u.
• United States
17 Oct 10
That's a harsh situation, I'm not sure there's too much advice for it, it depends if this person is a bad friend in general. If so, who cares, if yes, only you can decide what's worth more, and make sure to not loan any more to this person.
• United States
17 Oct 10
*cough* sorry thought I was responding overall, *is noob* That was meant to be addressed to the OP
• India
17 Oct 10
Yes that can be really hard especially with friends. Because we can't ask them without hurting them and that's the bad part of loaning money to friends. So it can be hard. But hey it's your money and you have a right to get it back. Just be firm and ask your friend. I am not sure if she will give the money back but try... Cheers!
• Philippines
17 Oct 10
Thanks for your advice. Hopefully things will be settle soon.
• United States
17 Oct 10
My hubby and I have been in this situation. We lent over one hundred dollars to a girl after we were told her that her mom needed insulin or she would die. We did it even though we had a baby at the time. Unfortunately we did not put it in writing so it would not hold up in court. She promised us the money then said she gave it to a friend who was supposed to give it to us. We never got the money back. We learned the hard way not to lend out large sums of money. We don't do that anymore. That has been five years ago now. We have to just consider that money gone and that we will never see it again.
• Philippines
17 Oct 10
hi lindaharding627! Now I am learning from the situation. I will be very cautious to lend money to anyone.
@picjim (3003)
• India
17 Oct 10
I leave that choice to you.But to me its clear that your friend is taking advantage of your kindness.I faced a similar problem but i had to give a legal notice as the money was my wife's and i would lose face if it wasn't returned.If the person is such a good friend he would not have put you to this hardship.
• Philippines
17 Oct 10
hi picjim! You're right she's taking advantage. Though I wanted to preserved the friendship we had because I've known her so long it was my last resort to send her a demand letter just to give back the money. It was really hard.. thanks for your advice.
• United States
17 Oct 10
Do what i would do.Tell her you dont want to upset your friendship but you need your money.Tell her if she doesnt give it to you that you may take legal action or just drop the friendship altogether.If that does not work then she doesnt realy care.Of course there may be more options than that,so leave this as a last resort.
@Strovek (870)
• Malaysia
17 Oct 10
It's always tough to lend money to a friend or relative. If you do, don't expect your money back. Most likely there is no evidence the loan even took place so you are unlikely to succeed in any legal action. As for friendship, that will be up to you.
@jinjer168 (1599)
• Philippines
17 Oct 10
Hello there! Honestly speaking, I cannot advice you for i am into your situation as well. The only difference we got is that I have five of my friends that owes money from me. One of them, also had my earrings too because I allowed her to pawned that just to help her when she needs money because I do not have money that time. Im into a big trouble now because all of them also had their own share of stories why they didn't give back the money from me the moment I asked them to pay me back. Some of them had my money for as long as three years. I do not know as well how I could get back the money they lend to me because I need those nowadays. Sometimes, I asked my self why they do that to me because when they asked money from me, I gave them the money right away because of the promise that they will gave back the money after 1 week, some of them after 15 days etc. Now, all of them kept that and never mind if I need it. I am not like that, whenever i borrowed something to others specially money, I always take it as an obligation, I don't want someone to lose their trust with me and so I pay them back as soon as possible. But with what my friends do to me now, i am really disappointed and sad how they exchange my trust because of money. I do understand how you feel, we can't do nothing but to patiently wait for them to pay us back if we wanted to keep our friendship with them still. Good night!
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
17 Oct 10
That also happen to me. I lent some money to a friend, and she only paid me half, and another half was delayed and delayed until now, and I still not getting my payment yet. Another friend of mine, now, I don't see him as a friend of mine, he simply a scamster, and I should warn other people, never be a friend with this guy. A big con artist, and he will get his karma within his life big time.
@twinklee (895)
• India
17 Oct 10
Yeah I have been in similar & as well the opposite situation!!!.....the best way to deal with it either to say no at the start itself or to patiently till what you gave will come to you.....i feel that you have to got with it some times i have also been in certain situations where i had to owe my friend a some sum.....
@momof3kids (1903)
• Singapore
17 Oct 10
What you can do is to create a lie to get it back. Maybe say you have to pay for an operation or something. Since you have told her that she can pay in installments, say you have borrowed from a bank and need to pay them back and if you are late, you will be charged with interest. Actually I have not had this problem so I would not know how you could lie but for the sake of your money, I think you have to do this. Try to make the lie simple so after you have got your money, you would not have to worry about your lie.
• Philippines
17 Oct 10
I once lent a classmate money out of kindness. She told me she'd pay me the amount but whenever I reminded her about it, she'd just tell me she'd pay next time since she doesn't have money at the moment. She kept on saying she forgot until she totally forgot. I disregarded it since it was a small amount but I never lent her money ever again. Then we found out that she was a thief too, so people ended up hating her.