online dating: would you agree to meet if they don't have a picture posted?

Romania
October 17, 2010 4:54am CST
four years ago I posted my first online profile on a relationships site. I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of posting a picture of myself. I worried on what other people might think. I also worried that other people might recognize my photo, and judge me because of that. I wanted to keep my online life private. I knew that the site encouraged people to post photos, but something made me uncofortable with that idea... so what about you? would you gate someone who doesn't have a pciture posted?
8 people like this
32 responses
• Australia
18 Oct 10
if there wasnt a pic... NO. u would think they are trying to hide something but on the other hand they could post up a pic of someone else... either way it would not work in there favour on dating sites
1 person likes this
@richiem (3646)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
I don't like the idea of online dating in the first place.
1 person likes this
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
hello swissheart! like you,i find it hard to post my real photos of myself online. well,i do post my pictures on social sites where i can only share it to my close friends. but in forum sites like mylot,i never do like to put my real photos. and for me,i still want to date to people who i can see physically.the one i can get in touch with and meet somewhere near...not just online...
1 person likes this
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
18 Oct 10
no, i wouldn't. if someone wants you to meet them somewhere the least they can do is post a picture of themselves online.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (36666)
• United States
9 Nov 10
That makes sense to be nervous about putting your picture up like that but I personally would probably not even bother with someone on a dating site that did not have a picture of themselves up. I need to see what guys look like to know if I could even do anything with them. Some guys like really fat guys are just not my type. To me its also a matter of safety I want to know what the guy looks like. If he doesnt put a picture up he could pose as someone he is not and thats scary.
• Romania
9 Nov 10
yes you know but he could also post somebody else's picture and this way he could pose into somebody else.looks are pretty important these days and from all the messages I read this is the main reason why all of us wouldn't date a person who doesn't have a picture posted. this is normal...we all have tastes and physical standards and we couldn't have a relationship with a person that doesn't attract us.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
17 Oct 10
When it comes to online dating, i would want to see a picture posted. If there wasn;t one, i would want to know why. How can someone seriously consider dating you if they can;t see what you look like first?
• Romania
17 Oct 10
yea but that person could send you a picture later, in a private conversation. the thing it's if you would consider that person's profile or dump it from the very begining
@Porcospino (16630)
• Denmark
17 Oct 10
Some years ago when I was a member of an online dating site I had the same thoughts as you, and I didn't want to post a picture of myself. Most of the people who contacted me asked me why I didn't post a picture and I told them that I wanted keep my privacy and I didn't felt like posting pictures of myself on a public site like that. They often asked me send a photo to their email instead and I sometimes did that. I don't think that I have ever gone on a date with someone without seeing a picture at first. I always insist on meeting at a public place at first and it is hard to know who to look for if I have never seen a picture of the person that I am going to meet.
• Romania
17 Oct 10
I agree with you porcospino. if you saw a picture ofthe person before, than it's easyer to now who you're looking for. but if you didn't how are you going to meet: call him/her and tell him hey today I'm wearing a red t-shirt and jeans. the thing it's what are you going to do if by a coincidence there are 5 people at the same place who ear that same color of t-shirt? that's a funny situation..:))
• Philippines
17 Oct 10
im not interested in talking to people who aint got a cam or photos. and i wouldnt meet up with them if i dont know what they look like ahahaha!!
• Romania
17 Oct 10
so I guess looks are pretty important to you right?
@namdaemun (283)
• Indonesia
17 Oct 10
well, for starting a relationship, it's better to post real photo, I think. Because you won't want to date an ugly woman with angel-like profile picture hehehe. it's as simple as that
• Romania
17 Oct 10
yea you know but she could also post somebody else';s picture
• Portugal
17 Oct 10
swiss i understand that you didnt feel comfortable putting your own picture^^ but meet near someone that we didnt see even pic is dangerous. at least i think that for you to go meet someone you need to see that person in cam first so you are sure how the person looks like. you know there is honest people online but also liars and perverts. so everyone that meets someone online and wants to meet near must see the person in cam first^^ so at least you wont take any risks^^ is ok if you dont post there in the site but if a guy is interested in you is ok that you talk in yahoo or msn and open cam to him so he knows how you look like and you know how he looks like also^^
• Romania
17 Oct 10
sweet but you won't realise someone it's a pervert just because youknow the way he looks. this it's dangerous in the case of person who pretend they are someone that they in reallity arent: for example if they say they are 23 years old for example when they are 60. but perverts could also have 23 years old :) it's nost necessarely a matter of age. pictures are important so that you could know how the person looks, if you like this aspect, because in any case you won't date someone you don't like. I was just curious to know if you would date someone that you don't know how he looks
• Canada
3 Oct 11
I belong to a few online dating sites and they are all free. I think the better dating sites you have to pay for. But who wants to pay money, not me. So I signed up with a few free ones and I have met a lot of guys from them. I will talk to a guy that doesn't have a picture posted but only if he sends me one after I ask him to. I meet guys at a coffee house where there are a lot of other people around, just to be safe. I wouldn't want to meet someone that is trouble so I am careful. Why would you not want your picture posted on a dating site? Do you not want to see a picture of the person you are talking to? If anyone you know recognizes you then that means they are on the site too so why would that embarrass you. That would mean they are there for the same reasons as you, to meet someone, so why would that be embarrassing? Do you think they would be embarrassed if you saw them on the site? Doesn't make any sense to me, sorry. Littlemissy saying bye for now my friend
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
2 Oct 11
I am a member with an online dating site and it is free. Because it is free you get all kinds on there so you have to be very careful. I see most of the members there don't have a picture posted. I don't approach the ones that don't and if someone does send me a message and they don't have a picture I ask for one. If they don't send me one I don't bother to talk to them again even if they message me. If they do have a picture they send me and I like it I will continue on with talking to them on the internet only for the first little while. I will then give them my personal email address and we chat through it for awhile. Then if I still like them I will ask them for their phone number. I never give out mine first. So to answer your question, I don't like to talk to someone if I don't know what they look like. Also a lot of time the picture they send isn't even them so your still taking your chances. The reason I say that is because I had that happen to me. I met a guy that his picture wasn't even him. He said if he sent me his real picture I wouldn't talk to him and I said yes, but now that I have met you and found you are some one other than who I thought you were, you lied to me, I don't want to know you. Not because I think you are not looking up to my standards but because you lied to me. And I left. Cheers my friend and happy mylotting, Chris
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
For me, it would be better if you have posted your photo. Because a person would want to date someone s/he is attracted to, and we have to admit that dating starts with physical attraction.
• United States
19 Oct 10
even if they do have a picture posted I would still be skeptical for a number of reasons. One being that you cannot really know if that person in the picture is Truly them I mean who's not to say that they didn't get that image from someone else's social network profile or even a relative or friend of theirs picture?? then you won't really know those person's motives i.e. craigslist killer for example.. so it just depends on how big of a leap of faith you want to ake but uh..it's not for me.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
19 Oct 10
Personally, I feel it is allright if one is not keen to post photos online. However, before agreeing to meet, I do want to ensure I see a picture of the person. This shows his/her sincerity about meeting up.
• Italy
19 Oct 10
I have checked your pictures here and you are a perfect beautiful girl for every one here. You never need to be upset about "what others think about it". I have uploaded my pictures about 6 yrs back and believe me until now i didnt find any single girl as an affair. I like your pics here and i am interested to join you on other platforms as well. So if you consider me as a a friend share here your other social networks.
@dismalgrin (2470)
• United States
19 Oct 10
I wouldn't meet someone that didn't have a picture posted, but also after having so many bad experiences with online dating, I wouldn't... just wouldn't anymore. One guy posted a picture of himself... several years ago. Another guy just showed a head shot and it ended up he was much shorter than me (and I'm a short girl!) another guy actually used a current whole photo but the lighting was a lot more flattering in the picture than he was in person. Grrrr. I gave all these guys a chance to prove themselves to me, but they were just way too sleezy in the end. And that's the problem with online dating, you get the sleezy guys that go online because girls see right through them and won't go out with them.
@RamRes (1725)
• Argentina
19 Oct 10
I used to post on those kind of sites. I never liked too much the idea of public posting my own photo, and prefer to chat a little and share a photo after then. I may speak online with them even without a photo, I feel no problem with it. But over time, I'm get interested in know her personally, I get interested in a photo too. Of course, I ask for it before going after a personal meeting.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
19 Oct 10
Well, for me i am willing to meet someone I knew online as respect for her and for being a man of honor. I don't care if I never see the photo's of that person. For me I want to show my full respect to the person that I talk to and do some agreement of seeing each other... Have a great day!
18 Oct 10
i am the same, as much as i would love to meet someone i wouldn't want my picture up. People will see and what i do is my private life. However if your picture is on and you get many people interested then surely that is a good thing. It would certainly be better if both of you have a picture up as if you are both attracted to eachother through your pictures then atleast when you meet up you are both aware of what eachother looks like. If only one has a picture up then if you were to meet maybe the one with the picture doesn't like the look of the one without a picture.