Sister's Divorce

@teamrose (1499)
United States
October 18, 2010 1:03pm CST
Sister's Divorce Part 2 I think we all know what happens to people's finances in divorces. Especially when there is a custody battle. My sister moved out of their shared rental house at the beginning of September. She started asking for money as her separating husband was not providing any funds (she claimed, my parents tell me otherwise). In September her soon-to-be-ex provider her with a lump sum "starter." I think my parents told me it was $25,000. It's October and she says that she is running out of fund already. I am sure a good chunk went to her lawyer. But seriously... a month and 20 days and she has run out already? I am sure that her Ex & lawyer provided that lump sum to get to living expenses question out of the way so that they did not look like complete crap in front of the judge. My sister says that living in Australia is much more expensive than the US, which I believe. But not that much more expensive. She says her rent is $2,500/month for a 1.5 Bedroom condo. (The real estate listing says 2 Bedroom, 2 Baths). Craigslistings for Sydney range from $400-$600-$900 for 2+ Bedrooms. http://sydney.craigslist.com.au/search/apa?query=&srchType=A&minAsk=&maxAsk=&bedrooms=2 The local classifieds show similar pricing for even the area she is in for what appear to be really nice places. You really have to work at it to find a place to blow that much rent. http://www.domain.com.au/?mode=rent She used to live in San Fran, which I know had high rent prices. I think $2,500 was close to what she paid there. She was also used to pulling in some very nice 6 figure executive salaries floating from .com to .com. Yet through out that, it wasn't until a few years ago that she woke up and recognized that she wasn't even saving any money for retirement. It seems like the bulk of it went towards financing her lifestyle. So she has a history of not being fiscally smart and living for today. But did eventually buckle down and start saving & bolted down her expenses. So now she is in Australia, can't get a job due to her visa. She can't leave either due to the child in the custody battle. She magically wants to be a full time mom despite the realities of divorce. Wants him to pay for it. And still wants to move back to San Fransisco. I honestly don't see her winning a custody battle that would allow her to take her child out of Australia. But she appears to be all in. It's going to be a lot of money down the drain to fight that battle. I am more than willing to provide funds to ensure, she & her child has a roof over their head and food on their table. But I can't afford to finance her lifestyle. And I don't want to fund an impossible custody battle that she just isn't going to win. And to top it all off, I don't think her engine was firing on all cylinder before all this even started. Now, it may be near impossible to have a reasonable conversation with her.
2 responses
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
19 Oct 10
I couldn't, now, and probably wouldn't if I had to, support my sister without a lot of assurances about where she's headed. I think I'd give it some time to see what moves she makes before handing over your money. I know a simpler lifestyle would be in order before I send money.
@teamrose (1499)
• United States
20 Oct 10
Willing to pay a 6 month lease on an apartment that I think is reasonable ~ let her figure the rest out. At least then I know she has a roof over her head ~ ETA: but I will not send her a penny of real cash...
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
20 Oct 10
That sounds like a reasonable plan.
@jagjit273 (1740)
• India
18 Oct 10
First of all very sorry for your sister's divorce, Now to your discusion, It verys confusing, you tell me what do you want and what you are looking forward too, team rose.So i could give you a good response to this problem being a Lawyer
@teamrose (1499)
• United States
18 Oct 10
My problem is how to advise my sister. She can't leave the country because she would have to leave her child. She can't work because of citizenship. I can't afford to keep her in the lifestyle she has over there. I think she should get a much cheaper apartment, figure out a way to live on next to nothing and try to work out some type of compromise with her soon to be ex husband.
@jagjit273 (1740)
• India
18 Oct 10
Well i cant say Much about your Sister, but I definitely,Now can Say that you are an inteligent women,You have Given soultion to all your above mentioned discusion, Your self, Bravo good brains, I wonder if your Sister have 10% of think as you have described and shown in this response to my response , she will definitle come out of the trouble,And if She Doesnt listen to you then leave her on her own for soemtime, Time will definitly teach her good lesson, By The way can we be friends, if you dont mind, Have a Nice Day.